(Closed) Am I wrong for feeling this way?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Tropicalbride:  But it’s not “your” day. It is his day as well, and he should have who he wants there too.

Post # 4
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Tropicalbride:  I’d feel the same. I’me being very careful about this cause I don’t really want people we don’t know at our wedding.

In your case I guess it depends if it’s your FI’s guests or your inlaws guests, a destination wedding’s supposed to be intimate and personal. Have you talked about this with your FI?

Post # 5
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Im a bit of a control freak and would definitely feel that my day was being taken over without my consent.

If it truly makes you uncomfortable, you need to have a serious talk with SO express your concerns and hopefully you two can find a compromise and agree on how to move forward and prevent things from getting out of control.

It’s your day, you only get married once, at the same time you both deserve to enjoy it.

Post # 6
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Tropicalbride:  I think you should have way more say as to who is invited.  You two shouldn’t have to be paying any extra costs for people you didn’t agree on inviting.  You need to put your foot down sooner than later otherwise it’s going to be a complete mess.

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Depends..if you only have a handful of people you’re close to, he shouldn’t have to limit himself because of that too much. But if you have more people you’d like to be there but can’t afford it, then it’s unfair you guys are paying to cover his extra guests but not yours, even if he is able to contribute more.

Post # 8
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

So you two are paying for the wedding, but his family members are inviting people?  Uh, no.  Not cool.  Unless your fiance really wants them there.  If he doesn’t and is just shelling out $$ to make his family happy, that’s really dumb on his part.

Post # 9
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Is he paying for the extra people because he really wants them there, or is he just trying to make everyone happy?

Post # 11
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That’s not cool at all for them to invite people you don’t know to your wedding. Can’t they just be told that you want it to be an intimate gathering. I’m sure if the extra people invited knew they were crashing a wedding they wouldn’t do it. Yes your fi can say no to his family, can you suck it up yes, should you have to NO!

Post # 13
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Tropicalbride:  That is sad, I would definitely have a talk with Fiance. At some point he has to tell his family “no”, whether it’s with the wedding or other things involving your future.  This is YOURS and HIS day…the people there, or at least number, should be agreed upon by you both.  It shouldn’t be “his” money paying for all of these people, especially people neither of you know.  I would definitley stand up.  How sad will you feel if there’s 20 people of your “small” wedding you don’t know?   

Post # 14
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If they want to go on a darn vacation, they can just go.  But they need to keep you, your fiance, and your wedding out of it!

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