(Closed) Am I wrong for feeling this way?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
228 posts
Helper bee

Is this real life? This is the most selfish thing I have seen in a long, long, long time… “I am angry that he waited so long and now the ring will pass on to someone else who will only have it for a few months at most.” Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. I can’t imagine how black your heart must be for you to say something like that about a young woman who has less than a year to live. You need therapy desperately.

Post # 17
415 posts
Helper bee

Ouch at some of these responses.

Beegoingundercover took pains to repeatedly say:

  • I am NOTjealous that in any way, shape or form that she got a proposal before me
  • I will do whatever it takes to make the (dying girl’s) wedding special because it’s not likely she will live to end of the year.
  • he always told me it would be mine one day.
  • He could have asked for it at any time but he dragged his feet for so long.
  • I feel guilty for saying this but I am so upset about the ring situation

I don’t think these are the words of a heartless person with no soul.

She came here asking for advice. 

Let’s not all pile on and bash her for asking for advice. 

Post # 18
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m sorry but if your boyfriend has dragged his feet and isn’t ready to get married then the ring goes to whomever IS ready. He had first “dibs” but lost his claim when someone else stepped up to the plate.


“I am angry that he waited so long and now the ring will pass on to someone else who will only have it for a few months at most.” Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/am-i-wrong-for-feeling-this-way-5/#ixzz405dDB7up

That, however, OMG. 






Post # 19
196 posts
Blushing bee

violetcupcake:  OP asked if she was being bratty and if she was being wrong, and people are giving their honest opinions. 

I personally think it’s extremely disgusting to imply that a dying girl shouldn’t get an heirloom ring because she’ll “only have it a few months at most” as if to suggest that OP feels her good health means she is more entitled to it.

Man, i’d hope that people would call me out on it if my perspective was this warped too. 

She went undercover for a reason.

Post # 20
2712 posts
Sugar bee

Get help.  Immediately.

I can only hope this is a bored poster having ome fun….

Post # 21
1301 posts
Bumble bee

beegoingundercover:  Look at it this way. After she dies, the ring will be available.



See how absolutely disgusting that sounds?  I really hope karma doesn’t bite you in the ass someday.

Post # 22
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222

Yikes. I would wait to get married until you get your priorities straight. Like, ten years.

Post # 23
133 posts
Blushing bee

I would have already pulled my future sil aside to say I hope she gets the special family ring and that she loves it every day……

your just too Young in the head 

Post # 24
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

This is so yuck, re read your post, do you think you are emotionally ready to get married? 

maybe your boyfriend is dragging his feet because you are the kind of person that gets upset over a dying girl getting a ring that, no matter which way you cut it, WAS NEVER YOURS. 

Get over yourself OP. 

Post # 25
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 27
1243 posts
Bumble bee

beegoingundercover:  My advice to you is be grateful that you have your health and, as far as you know, aren’t staring death in the face. You have all the time you want to plan the wedding of your dreams, and spend a long life with the man you love. You’re being a jackass over something that was never yours. Stop it.

Post # 28
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Yes. You’re wrong

Post # 29
48 posts
  • Wedding: March 2016


Whoa! Come on now everyone. I had to log on for the first time in a long time to reply to this – to offer some support. There’s nothing gained from throwing so much shade OP’s way.

I understand both sides here. This would be emotionally extremely difficult for you for two reasons – one, that your boyfriend knows about the culture of early engagements and you have waited two and a half years. And that for a very long time you had your hopes up for this beautiful ring. 

It is PERFECTLY OKAY to feel these emotions.

We are human. And with this comes irrational emotions. 

You just have to deal with these emotions, work through them, so that they can pass. 

I highly suggest seeing a psychologist to discuss all of these feelings and let all of the emotions out, and the psychologist will give you strategies to help you move past them. It’s also a safe place to discuss them judgement-free. 

The other side is what you’ve just witnessed – there’s a girl that’s dying and she’s getting the ring. Do your best to constantly remind yourself of the bigger picture. I urge you to never breathe a word of how you are feeling to any member of your family. Because you’ll get the same responses as those above, but it’s worse – your family will never forget. 

Wishing you all the best OP. Utilise the services you have available to you and you will get through this. Hugs. 

Post # 30
3 posts

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