Am I wrong for feeling upset

posted 1 month ago in Relationships
Post # 31
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Yeesh. He sounds super unappreciative and insensitive towards you. You’ve been upfront about your financial situation and he should’ve at least offered to split it right away rather than letting you pick up the whole bill. It’s mind-blowing that he thinks him eagerly paying the bill earlier *for people who are NOT you, in a situation you had NO say in* is apparently sufficient rationale for him to enjoy a meal on your dime, wtf logic is that?!

I’d be upset too in your shoes. He seems miserly as heck. Why did he even invite you along to the trip? Almost sounds like he just wants you to help pay bills.

Post # 32
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Trust me, finances don’t get any easier once you’re married and unless someone is paying for your wedding 100%, lots of things will come up right up until the actual wedding.  You don’t want to be at the venue fighting over who pays for what.  The situation you’re describing seems to me like something that could happen early in the relationship.  Either you didn’t communicate clearly enough about your financial situation or he doesn’t care but I’ve never had this kind of misunderstanding in my relationship.  Early on, my husband was in a way better financial situation than I was in and he wanted me to travel with him at least once a month.  There were a few times where I said I couldn’t afford to pay half so we figured out what I could pay for and he picked up the rest because he wanted me to go with him.  The whole thing sounds like a red flag to me.  Seems like a small thing to be so worked up about but I don’t think it’s the only red flag you’re seeing.  

Post # 33
7800 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with PPs that picking up the check for a business meal has no relevance to how he behaved with you.

You went with him to keep him company and he expected you to pay because you didn’t contribute to gas for a trip you didn’t need to take? He’s no prize. I would not marry an inconsiderate, stingy man who didn’t keep his agreements.

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