Post # 16
The organizer is crazy, rude, and wrong. She doesn’t have any right to bill you for an over the top expensive event you had no say in planning. Don’t feel guilty in the slightest.
Bachelorette parties are optional and involvement is voluntary. What used to be a simple night out on the town with close, local friends and not even recognized by etiquette as an “official” wedding related event has increasingly taken on ridiculous proportions and imposed totally inappropriate demands on people who are typically in no position to afford the cost or the time.
Just say no.
Post # 17
Uh, no. That is ridiculous. You are well within your right to decline and support the bride as you you plan to do. I’m not sure I would even spend $600 to treat myself to the spa, and to expect you to do that in celebration of someone else is beyond me. Even if you had the money and time you are well within reason to decline.
I’m getting married next year and I am already worrying about these types of parties. I would not want anyone to spend that kind of money, have to travel somewhere for a weekend, etc. No offense to anyone who is doing that but I would feel so bad if people were spending that kind of money.
Post # 18
I think everyone needs to slow their roll – she got engaged on Easter – that’s like 6 days ago, right? She already has a wedding date and bachelorette party planned?
Post # 19
No that’s ridiculous considering you are spending so much already. I declined my future sister in laws hen weekend as her family arranged it without checking budgets with anyone and wanted us to pay almost $500 each (just under £400) and I thought that was too much.
Post # 20
The bride called me just a bit ago fuming because she found out what the bridesmaid was planning. She stopped that in its tracks and said she wants nothing more than her family and friends at her wedding. Thankfully that ended that, and we are just going to have a little get together at a restaurant near by, and then end the night at an Airbnb that her mom just booked.
AnonBee2019 : yeah, they started planning before she was engaged so once she got the ring she set everything in stone. She really deserves the best and she works super hard so I’m all for it.
Post # 21
Adamsfamily6991 : ahh! So glad to hear your bride is a reasnreaso human! I love it when these crazy stories end well.
Post # 22
Adamsfamily6991 : really, no one should expect anything of you considering your circumstances. $600 is literally my car payment and the insurance, with 1-2 weeks of gas. WTF.
Ah, just read your update. So glad the bride is a reasonable person. It’s good she appreciates you flying out anyway. I’m happy it ended well.
Post # 23
Adamsfamily6991 : Good for you!! More people need to be honest and not feel bad saying “no thanks” to these ridiculous expectations. And in your case, it wasn’t even the bride who wanted it! Just think — if you had “sucked it up” she might have never known this was going on and a bunch of you could have ended up spending money that nobody has on something nobody wants.
Post # 24
That is ridiculous and I wouldn’t want to do it either. People getting married should not expect their wedding parties to be able to splurge on things they cannot afford. YOu have every right to say you can’t do it. You are already flying in from Germany to be at her wedding and buying a dress and performing wedding party duties for her. I would say you are doing plenty as those are already big commitments. It’s unreasonable for her to be mad at you over a spa day.
Post # 25
Adamsfamily6991 : Even if making the trip costs you absolutely nothing, it’s still ridiculous to expect you to pay anywhere near that much for the bach. $600+?!?
Title: “Am I wrong here?” Answer: NO.
Post # 27
Just wanted to mentioned that there are almost daily flights Ramstein-Washington. You say you don’t work so why don’t you just go there a couple of days early so you have no pressure and hang out for a space A. That would lower flight cost to a 70$ round trip. Space A is always a bit risky but they fly so frequently that you should get on a flight fairly easy. Plus have you heard of USD travel? They are specialized in military flights GER/US
Plus Germany has this cat sitter thing going on. I’ve never heard from anyone in Germany (eg a German) who actually board their animals but they use the cat sitter service which is free. Someone will sit yours while at some point you will sit somebody else’s cat.
I don’t know much (anything really) about Bachelorette party’s but 600$ sounds steep to me.