(Closed) Am I wrong in not chasing down rvsps? (slight rant)

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think that is a great plan 🙂

Post # 4
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think its great idea.  But there will always be that one relative that they will let in because mom or grandmas said so.

Post # 5
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011


I think you need to consider the possibility of rsvp lost in the mail. It’s unlikely but if it did happen you may damage a relationship forever. A phone call won’t kill you.


Post # 7
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i love that plan!

Post # 9
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If FI or FMIL said they’d make the calls, let them. Perhaps shift the vibe and assign it to them as if it’s a task on the list and they are helping tons to get it done. Smiley, smiley, hug, hug… and then you are on to other things.

Also, consider assigning someone to be the “front door contact” so when complications arise at the entrance with security, and someone demands to speak to you or your Fiance or your parents, you have someone available to be the polite but stern voice representing your NO.

Post # 11
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You’re going to cause way more drama than this is worth if you go through with it. People who did not RSVP will show up, and you will have to throw them out, and then you will have to explain to them why you did that – and it won’t be pretty, I can promise. You may actually burn social bridges by doing that. Was it their responsibility to send the card back? Yes. Will that matter to them as they are being escorted out? Absolutely not.

Post # 12
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hmm. Would you really advise security to keep out any of your relatives or friends who had not RSVP’d? I can’t picture doing that to someone who I cared about enough to invite to the wedding in the first place. I’m not saying you should scramble to come up with a seat for them or anything, but using security to keep them out? Seems kind of harsh to me.

Post # 15
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I like the idea of once your get rsvp then they get reception information, that really take away the fear that people will jut show

buttttt………….you should call for at least 3 good reason

I tell you this because with 7 days out from my wedding I am still chasing RSVPs you will have exsecption to your plan

1. USPS is not your friend. don’t think because you sent they got there. almost a third (about 20-30) of my invitations never made it to the recipient, even my neighbor across the street still has not received his. And I mailed them in bunches on different days and there is no rhynme or reason to who did and did not get them

2. Some people are just too importnt to just say oh well. Currently we are still waiting for confirmation from FH father and my uncles. Yeah it’s easy to say well they cant come but really if they called tomorrow or the day before I’d want to give them a seat. its hard not too

3. Some peple just don’t rsvp, I had people tell me they were waiting for my call or they were glad i called. As horrible as it sounds rsvping is not at the top of everyones list but you invited them because you want them there for your day, so a little friendly remider call wont hurt.

If you think its way to much call everyone, split up the list. I gave him, his mom,and my mom a list of their people to followup with and it helped me get a lot of the non-rsvpers out the way

Post # 16
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cruzan1978: Yeah, I can understand – that would frustrate me, too. I second the idea of splitting up the calls with your Fiance, mom, and Future Mother-In-Law. Tag team that one!

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