- 5 years ago
MOG TWICE weighing in.
PLEASE OP, get a grip and get to work reframing your position. Whether you are paying everything for the weddding or NOTHING, you have none of the “rights” you are trying to give yourself.
I had the most oppressive Mother-In-Law I ever knew, and even SHE had some attributes that contrast favorably to yours.
If I were you, I’d APOLOGIZE to your son and ask him to apologize, for you to this poor bride.
Presumably, your son is an adult. If you are VERY LUCKY, he has reached adulthood as a sensible, focused, hardworking young man. Frankly, if he hasn’t achieved a degree of independence and autonomy, it is most likely because of your micromanaging.
If he IS an adult, he has hopefully selected as a lifemate a young woman who loves him and fulfills his OWN search as a complement.
SHE is marrying HIM. SHE makes the choices. SHE invites you to participate as SHE wishes.
Often I am sympathetic when a MOG is treated badly or ignored in the process of weddiNg planning, because family ties really are so mportant to a happy marriage, if it is possible to establish them in a relaxed and joyful matching of the two families involved.
You are ASKING to be excluded from the marriage of thae two young people. If you WANT to be excluded ENTIRELY, continue as you are.
If you wish to earn their friendhip as A NEW FAMILY OF TWO, back off, learn how and what to love in your DIL2B, offer, DO NOT IMPOSE, your help to her in any small thing you can do, and DEVELOP a life of YOUR OWN.