- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2016
I’m assuming that you’ve already had your own wedding (you mentioned your husband). True, your son wouldn’t exist without you – but that in no way gives you the right to meddle so much and demand that you be involved in this process. Let your future DIL experience being engaged and planning a wedding – it’s her and her fiance’s time – not yours. I understand that this is a very exciting time for you as your “darling” son is getting married, but you need to understand boundaries and abide by those boundaries. I can only imagine what you’ll be like once they have kids 🙁
I am the mother of an only child, a son. Honestly I cannot see your point of view, I’m sorry. The fact is that the bride does these things usually with her mother and/or wedding party. I accept that and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. If his future fiance should decide to include me that would be sweet, but she would be under no obligation to do so. There are other ways that I can be involved. Its just not that big of a deal. Do you want this issue to tear what’s left of your relationship apart? That is what will undoubtedly happen. Shit, you’ll miss out on your grand kids if you cross that line too far.
Oh boy–just wait until the first grandchild comes along. I’ll tell you like my husband told our moms: you’ve had your wedding, birth experience, first child, etc. Let us have ours.
[content moderated for name calling]
Oh get a grip woman.
You are not being punished for having a son, you ate being punished because of how you treated them when they were trying to plan their first wedding.
I invited my fmil to go dress shopping and to our tasting, because I like her! We aren’t best friends but we get along fairly well and I wanted to include her. I have absolutely no problem including her in things, but it’s limited, and it’s limited with my own mother. They are pretty much at the same level of involvement. I literally have invited them dress shopping, have shown them our engagement photos, and have gone to a tasting with them. Could I get them more involved? Sure, but I don’t really care about their opinion and if they don’t agree with something ive planned it could cause more hurt feelings. It’s just easier.
Since, you were overbearing the last time they were trying to get married, I think it’s just easier to not involve you. You really should be focusing on mending your relationship now and honestly it might be too late, if they put off their wedding for three years and you haven’t done anything to try to make amends then I would think you are past the point of no return. Even if they do not want you involved in the wedding I would still focus on trying to fix your relationship so you can be involved in their lives further down the road.
You need to take a step back, they are building a life together, you can be apart of it but ONLY if you respect what they decide to do for themselves. You areally his mother, but you are not his partner in life, you ate not the most important woman in his world anymore and you need to understand that and let go and let him build his life with your fdil.
It seems like this thread has run its course, so I’m going to close it now.
The topic ‘Am I wrong in wanting to be involved more?’ is closed to new replies.