(Closed) Am I wrong on the way I feel?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should i let her be a bridesmaid so i can have 2 of my neices be the flower girls
    Yes...you should always have your sisters be the bridesmaids : (6 votes)
    13 %
    Yes...just to shut her up so i can use my neices : (3 votes)
    7 %
    No... : (5 votes)
    11 %
    HELL NO....it isnt her place to say and she is just acting childish... : (32 votes)
    70 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i don’t think it’s worth it! she’s acting incredibly childish…what will she hold hostage next?

    Post # 4
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    You shouldn’t be asking permission to feel the way you feel!

    I say: minimize drama. It isn’t worth getting hung up on the crazy things family do during weddings. whether that is cutting her out of the wedding or giving in to keep her quiet is up to you. You know her best!

    Post # 5
    Member
    5093 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    It sounds like she’s being unreasonable.  However, don’t make a decision you’ll regret later.  Even if you really don’t like her, she is family.  My dad didn’t ask his brother to be a groomsman years ago (didn’t even decide to invite him to the wedding until the last minute), and it became one of his biggest regrets later in life. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think, that if you don’t want her to be a bridesmaid then don’t!! It is your wedding, and you know what will make you happy in the end. My Fiance is really close with one of his brothers, but not very close with his other brother. Thats just the way it goes sometimes. She is already acting crazy, can you imagine having her help plan your stagette or what about bridesmaid dress shopping??? She sounds like a nightmare.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1276 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I think if you don’t want her to be a bridesmaid, then don’t ask her. You aren’t forced to have anyone stand up for you and you especially don’t want someone who is guilting you into picking her. You will get plenty of family pictures that will include her. As for her children, be prepared for her to withhold her kids from your wedding party. You could try explaining that it would be special to include them and see how she reacts. Since it is your wedding, you might try to include her in some activities as maybe a “bonding moment?” Maybe she is lashing out over knowing that you are closer to your other sister. Like crayfish said, you know her best. You don’t have to include anyone! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I have a friend who isn’t close with her oldest sister but is very close with the other one.  She had her sister as her Maid/Matron of Honor, and the older one did a reading.  Why don’t you ask her to do something else small in the wedding to appease her?  Things like a reading are great, because there is minimal pre-wedding involvement (to avoid drama), yet it is still a special role on the day.

    Honestly she is being a jerk.  I’d be hurt if my sisters didn’t have me in their weddings, but we are close!

    Post # 11
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Reading between the lines here, it sounds like your sister feels left out and a little hurt. She may even be jealous of the relationship you have with your younger sister. She may not know how to articulate that to you, or she may feel that too much water is under the bridge so she continues to act as she does. I think deep down she might want a better relationship with you and is essentially jealous. *speaking from experience*

    Post # 14
    Member
    1058 posts
    Bumble bee

    hmmm, it’s YOUR wedding NOT hers. You call the shots and I think she knows that you do not have the best sisterly relationship. Therefore, it is fitting that you don’t want to include her, it’s her fault not yours. 

    I have a similar situation, I have 6 sisters but my youngest sister (who is 21) isn’t even invited to my wedding because she is the most horrible person I have ever met. So as unfortunate as it is, at least you don’t hate her so much that she isn’t invited to the wedding, she just can’t expect to be included in events when the relationship isn’t there.

    That’s hard though, I hope you figure it out. Good luck!

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