(Closed) Am I wrong that I don't when want visitors the day we are back from honeymoon?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

In ordinary circumstances, I’d decline the visit but.. They watched your dog for 2 weeks which presumably saved you a decent amount of coin and are driving him back to you..

I think you’re being rude. We get it you’ll be tired but, they did you a giant favor and you can’t exchange pleasantries for a few hours and then retreat to bed? That’s a bit dramatic.

Post # 17
Member
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

summerbride2016:  If you’re so exhausted as you think you will be, then there’s no difference between a 30 minute visit and overnight since you’ll only be awake long enough to crawl into bed.

Post # 18
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You should then offer to pick up the dogs from their home. Frankly after doing you both a huge favor, it’s the least YOU can do. That way you can pull a “We’ve got to get going” card. 

Do I get wanting to decompress post a long trip, absolutely! But you both have asked a hell of alot from his parents. 14 days watching and walking and feeding your pets. Now you want them them to do drive a total of 6 hours to you, but you can’t host them for little bit. Really? 

At what point do you say enough is enough and pay them back a little? Come on. If you wanted to be free and clear, post honeymoon, then you should have paid a service to house your pets. Problem solved. 

Post # 19
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I get where you are coming from, after traveling for 20 hours I would want to just go home and be in my own home by myself. However they did do a pretty large favor, so I agree with PPs. But I would use traveling from your honeymoon as an excuse to go to bed early and then I would just go out to breakfast the next morning and then send them on their way. You can do your honeymoon recap at breakfast when you are in a mood to talk a bit more. It shouldn’t be too painful.

Post # 20
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Find and pay for a boarder for the dog. They generally don’t need to visit with you or care about your honeymoon. 

Post # 21
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

summerbride2016:  ela0919:  OP, I think ela0919 has a great idea- I also agree with other bees, i can see this from both sides. I too, have to leave my dog when we go away, and I always just want to go home and relax. But, I see the in-laws side, as well… so maybe seeing about one more night for the dog, so you all can chat the next day would be a good plan… or even, not sure what time you all are getting in, but have them come in the evening so theres not a lot of time to sit around and chat before bed time, and you have time to shower and take a nap before they get there…? 

Post # 22
Member
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t want this either, so I would board my dog with someone else (either paid, or with a friend, or with your dad) nearby.  Or ask them to give you a night home to settle in before brining your dog back. 

Post # 23
Member
6161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would not host overnight guests the day I returned home after having been awake for 24 hours. Period. That’s just not an option for me. However, I would invite them to drive over the following day or to meet us at a halfway point or plan to drive to them.

And for all the pointing out how rude you’re being (which you are a little bit), it’s also pretty rude to invite oneself to someone else’s home for an overnight stay after they’ve just returned from a long journey. That implies Mother-In-Law is owed something for having done you a favor. When you do something, you’re supposed to do it free and clear of strings. Mother-In-Law isn’t entirely correct on this one.

Post # 25
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would not want to host overnight guests either, BUT I see their side. If I were you, I’d offer to go pick them up (yes 6+ hr drive) maybe the day after. That way, you have an excuse to leave (gotta get home) and you aren’t inconveniencing them more. TBH I’d rather drive 6h than have my inlaws stay overnight right after a long trip.

Post # 26
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

yeah I’m paying $450 for my dog’s sitter for the honeymoon.. if instead I could host family for a single overnight stay.. sure.  I think the PPs suggestion of you go to pick up the dog is a very reasonable one.  That way you won’t be asking them to drive 6 hours straight and not get to break up the drive with an overnight stay.  Asking them to come the day after is also a very reasonable one.

100% get you’ll be tired and not up for it that night.  I’d be right there with you.. but in life, there’s always more than just you and your feelings/tiredness to consider. 🙂

Post # 27
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Could they come drop off the dog the day AFTER you return once you’ve had a decent night’s sleep? Seems to me like that would be an everybody wins solution? 

Post # 28
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would feel the same way as you do, but I think this is one of those times you just need to suck it up and deal. We’ve all been there. 

Post # 29
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

 

TwilightRarity:  Do you realize how tiring a 6 hour drive is and probably if it is done within one day/evening? And, I am assuming that her in laws are older.

Yes, a favor for keeping your dog for half a month does deserve at least the common courtesy of not telling your FAMILY/in laws to make the 3 hour drive TO AND FROM your place all in the span of one evening and not offering a bed for the night. It’s not about being paid back for the favor. It’s common courtesy that should be extended to the parents of her husband who she is now married to. So not only did they do her a huge favor, but they are doing her an additional favor of making a very long drive. But I forgot, it will inconvenience the OP because she is tired.

I don’t get how that could not be considered obnoxious.

OP, why dont YOU make the 6 hour drive and then you don’t have to feel inconvenienced anymore.

 

Post # 30
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee

I understand how you feel, but IMO, when someone is doing you a favor for free, you have to accept that it will be on their schedule. Maybe they don’t want to watch the dog for an extra day so you can recuperate. Maybe they don’t want to coordinate handing off the dog to your father. Maybe they don’t want to drive 6 hours round-trip in one day; that’s a lot of travel for older people.

I think it’s fair to ask if they can come another day so that you can spend more time with them, but I think you do owe them a visit.

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