(Closed) Am I wrong that I don't when want visitors the day we are back from honeymoon?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 61
Member
1630 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

Yikes! If someone watched my dog for this long and offered to drive her home, I’d be falling all over myself to thank them! I hate having my dog stay at doggie day camp while we go on trips- I’d be super grateful if family or friends watched her instead.

Post # 62
Member
6383 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

So the 24 hrs without sleep/5 time zones tiredness only apply to your inlaws visit; you’ll be ok to do something else, even the same day you arrive.  Wow.  I hope you learn to be grateful and gracious soon.

Post # 63
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds like it will be most convenient on multiple levels for you to use a dogsitter. After such a long trip, I wouldn’t want to entertain guests right after a big trip, but I’d be more flexible for my parents or my parents-in-law. None of our parents are overly pushy though. 

Post # 64
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

Kind of surprised by some of these responses. I totally agree with not wanting to come home to company after that long of traveling. I’d thank them for their offer and tell them that your dog sitter is just going to come and watch the dog. Heck frame it as wanting someone to be able to check in on your house while you’re gone, dog being more comfortable there, etc. 

Then you come home to a happy and fed dog and you can go to sleep. 

Post # 65
Member
2014 posts
Buzzing bee

summerbride2016: “We may have plans on July 3rd too”

So then your “exhausted after travelling” point is invalid.

Post # 66
Member
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

So first you say you don’t want them there because you’ll be tired/want to decompress. That I totally get.

But then your update says you might have plans the day you get and the day after…well which is it?

Sounds like you just don’t want to see your in-laws, but you’re willing to see anyone else. No wonder her feelings were hurt. And how do you make plans before even figuring out how you’re going to pick up you dog that’s 3 hours away? That should come first. 

Post # 67
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

Yeah I’ve ridden (also drove for the couple few hrs) in a car for 16 hrs after having a day of classes so yeah I know how tiring it is after such a long travel time. That’s said, when we finally got to our destination we were at someone’s house and had to have greetings for a bit and then slept for about two hrs before continuing a big day. Can you you invite them over after a few hours of sleep? Or just saying your hellos, getting a couple hrs of sleep, and then talking about your trip? What time are you planning to get back home?

I think it’s the least you could do for someone watching your dogs for so long. I’m sure you’ll have time to rest later.

Post # 68
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee

Maybe prioritize other things over this one fourth of July….there will be more years to celebrate fourth of July.

Post # 69
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I can see where you’re coming from. Usually I wouldn’t want visitors after a long trip either… but, she is saving you hours of driving to pick the dog up. I’d just tell her your sorry you didn’t mean to upset her, but you’re worried about how wore out you guys will be from travelingetting and you appreciate her effort to help you out. So you talk to her for a little while and share a few stories and then head to bed early to recoup. a small price to pay for free boarding with someone you trust with your pets..

Post # 70
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - SLS Las Vegas

summerbride2016:  so you are up for plans on the 3rd and 4th but can’t host 1 night. I understand the exhaustion from traveling as I just did it however it is one night! You can shower and sleep as long as you want then get up converse for an hour and go back to your room and relax! You don’t have to entertain! You are saving upwards of 150-200$ because you inlaws are so generous! Stop being a brat 

Post # 71
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

Hire the dog sitter, come home, and spend that night without visitors. 

I kind of feel like being tired isn’t the whole issue – the whole issue is you don’t want your in-laws to stay with you. I wouldn’t either. Love them, but after a trip I need some space. After being cramped up in a plane it’s nice to relish some quiet, not have to talk to anyone, etc. You’ll be excited to tell them about your trip, just not right away. 1001 questions are great once you’ve had a shower, and a sleep. My own parents I could probably handle, but not anyone else. 

Your house, your life, your trip. Your answer is “no, you can’t stay with us that night”. They can either take your dog regardless, or retract their offer. 

 

Post # 72
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

nikbee:  That’s not really necessary – she isn’t being a brat. Her inlaws offered. She is willing to hire a dog sitter instead, or has come up with a couple of other suggestions which they won’t take. IMO being a brat would be “My inlaws should look after my dog and drop him off then go straight home” which isn’t what she’s saying. Maybe I’m reading this differently to you, idk. 

Post # 73
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - SLS Las Vegas

garnobella:  yes That is exactly what she is saying! As well as if they wont just drop of the dog and go home then we will just use a dog sitter. To me that is being a brat. 

Post # 74
Member
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

nikbee:  I agree that that is being a brat, I just read it differently. My understanding is that she doesn’t *expect* inlaws to dog sit. Internet, huh! 

Post # 75
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

This all sounds like a LOT of headwork.

For most people, I would imagine that this conversation would run:

Mother-In-Law: Shall we bring the dog back on Friday when you come back?

Daughter: Do you mind if we wait til Saturday? We’ll have been travelling and I think we’ll be pretty tired. Is that OK?

Mother-In-Law: Absolutely, no problem! Saturday it is.

I haven’t read the whole thread (sorry!) but there seems to be a lot of unnecessary drama going on here. I don’t think that the original request for the extra day is unreasonable after coming back off honeymoon. I honestly don’t see what the big deal is. But if it IS a big deal (which it seems that it may be) then I would look into getting a dog-sitter. Good luck! 

The topic ‘Am I wrong that I don't when want visitors the day we are back from honeymoon?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors