(Closed) Am I wrong to be upset with my best friend?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Ugh….Can you say BRIDEZILLA!!!! I don’t have that much self control to put up with people like that. I don’t think it’s normal. I have been in a couple of weddings and the Bride never acted like that. If she is your friend you should talk to her about it.

Post # 4
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

*WARNING* I’m playing devil’s advocate here…

To be entirely honest, I think you’re being a little sensitive…

You volunteered to help her with last-minute wedding stuff and she took you up on it. Yes, it was more than you expected – but did you ever tell her you were overwhelmed? To be honest, she probably doesn’t even realize she hurt your feelings.

I haven’t had my bachelorette party or wedding day yet so I can’t speak from experience. However, I’m sure she didn’t intend to hurt you or take advantage of you. She probably just had a lot on her shoulders, was stressed and saw that you would be the first to lend a hand (and not complain).

I’m not saying to “get over it,” I just want you to remember that she asked you to be her Maid/Matron of Honor for a reason, just as you asked her. Try not to let a few days worth of stress and frustration with her taint your many years of friendship.

Post # 5
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

What. a. bitch.

I don’t blame you for being upset.

I would phase her out after your wedding. Seriously. Who need that in their life!

Post # 6
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like an episode of bridezillas! I think you’re justified in your feelings. I’d let the dust settle and see what happens in the next month or two before you determine what to do with your friendship moving forward.

Post # 7
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unfortunatly some brides get Maid/Matron of Honor and slave mixed up. You did offer to help, but to some people that means do it all. And some people handle stress differently. But maybe she will turn around after her wedding.

Post # 8
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re not wrong to be upset.

She took full advantage of your generosity.  And she wasn’t a good friend to you when she was basking in the glory.

I would talk with her and see what she has to say.  Maybe you will not want to end the friendship after your chat.

Post # 9
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow, what a spoiled brat. It’s awful that you had to go through that. I get that your wedding is all about you but people forget that your wedding day wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t surrounded by your loved ones. Treat them kindly! Who would celebrate your big day if they weren’t there? 

I know you were in a difficult spot with it being her day and all-you don’t want to upset her as she was probably stressed BUT you really relieved alot of her stress and if she don’t want to recognize that, then screw her! (Especially now that her day is over). Think about it, would you ever treat her that way? Probably not. We ALL have a friend like that. People change. We all move on.

The greatest advice my dad ever gave me was that I’d be lucky if I grew up and kept 2-3 real close friends along the way. I’m in my twenties now, and I have 1 childhood friend that I keep in contact with. The rest, well, we’ve all grown apart. We’ve all changed. 

I’d say talk to your friend about how you feel. If she can take responsibility for her behavior (ie:say SORRY) then great! If not, c’est la vie! 

 

Post # 10
Member
8369 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@kyleandjillian61513:  I agree.

Whilst yes she took advanatge of your generosity you did offer. You chose to help and at anytime you could have said no but you didn’t. I don’t find it entirely fair to wholely blame the bride. As adults we need to stand up for ourselves and to realise that people can only take advanatge of us if we let them.

Yes she was being a brat at her bachelorette but you admitted that she has always been a little bit this way so I am not sure why the behaviour suprised you.

It sounds like you and your friend have grown apart and I guess you have two options-

  • talk to her about how you feel like you guys have changed and grown and need to reconnect and then work on building the relationship
  • talk to her about how you feel like you guys have grown apart and changed and that you feel like you are in different places in life and do not want to continue the relationship

Good luck

Post # 11
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think you are entirely right for feeling that way..it sounds like you were a wonderful help and its a shame that your friend didn’t see that. I think it might be a good idea to either talk to her. Yes it was her special day but no reason to act that way. I hope things work out for you!

Post # 12
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I felt like I was reading an episode of Bridezillas. O_O; 

I do not think you are over reacting or that you are over sensitive. Just like what other girls have been saying in this thread that she took advantage of your generosity and your willingness to help her. She abused you. 

You know what it is like to be a bride! Do you do anything she has done to you to her or your other bride’s maids? I don’t think so. 

When I am with my M.O.H and other bride’s maid I always ask for their opinion and ask if they are comfortable doing what I ask them. I do this because I know how stressful a wedding can be not just on my part but on everyone’s. Just because you are getting married doesn’t mean your common courtesy and friends just fall by the waste side, this is a time to get closer to friends and family. 

You should talk to her though, this is something that is burning underneath your skin and as long time friends she should understand and work with you to resolve your feelings during this time. 

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