(Closed) Am I wrong to be upset?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’d be upset.  It’s the total lack of effort, not the gift itself.  Unfortunately, anything he gets you now to make up for it won’t matter.  I remember one horrific Valentine’s day with my ex.  He knew I was looking forward to it, knew we were going to exchange gifts, made reservations at our favorite restaurant, ect.  I’m waiting for him to get home from work so we can leave and he comes rushing in, all “let’s go, there’s tons of traffic out there, everything just HAS to go out on Vday” *bitch bitch bitch.*  That’s when I noticed he was completely empty handed.  No flowers, no card, no gift, no nothing.  I was a little disappointed, but decided to let it slide.   I didn’t really care about gifts, maybe he was just worried we’d miss our reservations and didn’t have time. That’s when I saw it: the Vday card he bought his daughter.  Just then, on his way home.  At the store.  The store he just came from that had cards for sale.  And he STILL hadn’t gotten me a card! Safe to say I totally lost my shit and laid into him something fierce. 

He left the house all pissed off and came home an hour later with a diamond necklace.  It was a really nice necklace, I still have it in fact.  Point being, he could’ve brought home the Hope diamond and it wouldn’t have meant a thing at that point.  The gift or lack thereof wasn’t what pissed me off.  It was the fact that he was physically in a store, buying a card for his daughter, and STILL hadn’t thought of me.  His girlfriend.  The one at home taking care of his daughter he was buying a card for.  We broke up not long after that.

Talk to him.  My ex’s actions were a mere symptom of a much bigger problem: that he was a narcissistic, selfish ass. You need to know what these actions mean coming from your ex.  In order to do that it’s important that your Fiance knows your expectations in graphic detail.  Only then can you know if he’s failing to meet them because he’s unsure, or because he just doesn’t give a damn.  If it’s the former it’s fixable.  If it’s the latter, you’ve got big problems.

Post # 18
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yikes!!!  I’d be pissy.

I’m not a gift person but honestly, that’s pretty brutal.

Post # 19
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

This post reminds me of a situation with my mom and my step dad. My step dad is not the type to purchase gifts for anybody. He usually gives money, no card…just money. But this particular day he wanted to get my mom a gift. She didn’t tell him what she wanted so he broght her a bright pink vaccum cleaner and a package of pink sponge hair rollers!

It’s much easier to open your mouth and say exactly what you want when it comes to most men. They don’t read between the line that well. Smile


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