Post # 1
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
So me and my FI have a couple that we hang out with probably once every week or two. The woman texted me a few days ago
” Hey if you wanna come over we are decorating our tree and are having a few snacks this weekend”
I texted back saying my FI would most likely not be home but that I would like to come.
Last night she asked me to join the local gym with her I showed up to go last night, after the gym I told her FI might be home randomly depending what day this weekend she wanted to hangout. She suggested tonight ( firiday) and I told her I would text her and let her know for sure if FI could come too this afternoon.
I texted her about an hour ago to tell her most likely FI would be home and that tonight works.
She responds with ” Well actually I don’t really feel like doing it tonight maybe next weekend instead”
I said thats fine it would work for us and I invited her to go to the gym tonight if she wanted instead. She texts back
” Can’t I have an appointment, then I am grabbing dinnner so we can start on the decorating , so I can have the mess cleaned up right away”
She also declined going to the gym not only today but all weekend but insists I should go alone.
Seems to me that she just told me she didn’t want to do something, Uninvited us after extending the invite, then told me she is doing exact said activity but without us?
FI says maybe I misunderstood but it seems pretty clear to me. What do you bee’s think?
Post # 2
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
Breathe. Perhaps the decorating entails garland, lights and such and she is saving the tree decorating part of it for you. Either that, or she found someone else she would rather hang with and messed up her lie. What can you do? Call her out on it? If it’s that important to you, sure, otherwise, think back to whether you’ve ever done this to someone before.
Post # 3
Member
13991 posts
Honey Beekeeper
The whole exchange here is confusing. Either the situation is just that confusing or I lost the story somewhere in your explaination. She could have change her mind for any reason. If “decorating” is just for hanging out, waht difference does it make if she starts it. I dont think i’d be slightly just based on this exchange.
Post # 4
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
bee.anonymous:
Yeah maybe everything but the tree. Who knows ? If I don’t want to do something I would just say I don’t want to do something. Weird thing is that why even bother to invite us to this just to univite us the next day? I am just going to leave it be and go to the gym by myself and just ingore the slight. I just wanted to get other opinions because I feel like I got slighted but maybe other see it differently?
Post # 5
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
Is it possible that her SO heard of your plans and told her he wanted to hang out alone? So dinner is with him and then they’ll start decorating but she’ll see you next weekend? Often, my husband hears of our plans and says “But I wanted you all to myself, tonight” – type of thing.
Post # 6
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
pinkshoes:
I took decorating to mean the tree , the thing she invited us over to do. I honestly don’t really care that they are decorating their tree alone thats not really the issue its strange to invite someone over or to join a gym and then back out.
She is usually the one that invites us over so it’s not like we are the ones begging to come over.
Just seems weird
Post # 7
Member
7918 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
So…you’re mad you didn’t get to decorate someone else’s tree? I don’t get it.
Post # 8
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
Westwood: No, I think she feels disrespected or lied to. That’s the part she’s mad at. I think.
Post # 9
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
bee.anonymous:
Thats possible too but she inculded his name on the invite Me and “N” want you to come over. She is kind of a hot cold kind of person, so maybe this is just the way she is.
Post # 10
Member
2585 posts
Sugar bee
Westwood,
No I could care less to decorate someone elses tree. I actually thought the invite was kinda weird because I didn’t think decorating a tree was a group thing, but she invited me so I accepted.
The thing that I don’t care for is inviting me , then saying well I don’t want to decorate so get together is off, then saying you can’t do something because you are decorating LOL
