(Closed) Ambushed!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Personally, I think it’s incredibly rude for guests to try to make substitutions.  If someone can’t make it, they can’t make it… they don’t pass their invitation onto the next person they know.  Your FI’s aunt needs to be given a little ettiquette lesson.

Also, you should not be changing the guest list this late in the game.  If you have open seats, don’t invite anyone else to fill them; just leave them open.  No point in getting caught up over one or two open seats.  Relax and enjoy the week!!!

Post # 4
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I say stick to your original plan. This isn’t musical chairs! You can’t just swap people!

Besides I think all the other cousins who are probably in much more serious relationships than the 16 year old would be pretty peeved to see the 16 yr old with their little “girlfriend” and them not being able to bring one.

It’s a big fat N O for me.

Post # 5
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Don’t do it!!! I think that considering your circumstances it will create a shit-storm if you allow this to go down, and she really should understand that. Especially bc the teens will be sitting together it will be so obvious that so-and-so got to bring a date and no one else did. 

Post # 6
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I too have a big family that is very opinionated.  If you go back and let your cousin bring a date it will inevitably make other people think if they throw a fuss they will be able to alter the guest list also.  Stick to your guns and if she starts to cause a scene at your wedding kindly have the venue escort her outside.

Post # 7
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t do it.  Chances are, someone else will notice.  So while it won’t be an issue on the wedding day, it might become one well after the fact.  Stay strong, you’re almost done!  🙂

Post # 8
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your wedding is not the Oscars — there is no need for seat fillers!

I would try to explain that you invited the people with whom you wanted to celebrate. If they can’t come, you are sorry you won’t be able to spend your day with the original invitee, but one cannot simply substitute a person! Not many others are bringing dates, and it would be unfair to them. I don’t get it. One is not just given X number of invites to spread around as she pleases; specific people were invited!

Post # 9
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Stick to your original plan. Not only is it impolite to substitute guests, it will undermine your rule and leave the other singles (or their parents) questioning special treatment. Also, frankly, now is the time for you to relax and enjoy everything, not worry about this — call her, tell her you’re very sorry but the list is final and no substitutions are allowed, look forward to seeing her, byebye now. Then grab a margarita and smile!

Side note: I’d refrain from mentioning that you “have the space BUT…” There’s no need to justify your answer. Have an absolutely fabulous wedding!!

Post # 10
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you should stick to your original plan, especially since your sister and brother don’t have +1s. I think people would understand if your immediate family got +1 and not all the cousins for +1, but their feelings may be hurt if it’s the other way around.

Good luck, and have fun this weekend!!

Post # 11
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Wow, some people are so presumptuous! I’m sorry that the aunt is putting you in this position. I agree with the other posters that you should not allow the cousin’s date to attend. As far as preserving your relationship with the aunt and not inviting a continued debate with her, it seems like coming at it from the “cousins aren’t bringing dates and I don’t want to cause hurt feelings” approach would be the most effective.

Good luck and have a GREAT weekend!

Post # 12
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Don’t let her make the invite swap!  That is so unfair to the others (who are likely in more serious relationships that a 16 year old) that couldn’t bring a date to let your one little cousin have one.

Post # 13
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with CorgiTales. And I cracked up at Amaryllis’ Oscars comment.

Post # 14
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Honestly, you don’t even need to bring up the fact that other teens will be there without dates and you feel it would be unfair to allow your cousin to bring a date.  ALL you have to mention (and you shouldn’t even have to, this is a ridiculous situation that she put you in) is that neither your brother nor your sister were allowed dates to the wedding, and if they aren’t bringing a date then your cousin surely doesn’t need to bring one either.  The end!

Post # 15
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wouldn’t do it either. As another poster said, it’s not musical chairs. It’s a bit late in the process to be trying to make substitutions and it’s kinda rude that they’re even asking you to do that so close to the wedding.

Post # 16
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

DONT DO IT! Stick with the original plan!

EDIT- enjoy your wedding!

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