(Closed) An apology to our MODERATION TEAM

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 93
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I saw all the drama this past weekend but decided to stay away from it. I know I don’t post very often or comment very often but I read from my phone almost every day. Mods/hosteses/admin thanks for all the hard work you ladies put in around here! I’m sorry for all the negative people who accused you ladies of all the things they accused of. It sucks there’s always some kind of drama lately I hope it has finally died down 🙂

Post # 94
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DeadlyNightshade:  I believe Bakerella (until she recently stepped down) was some sort of admin type deal? She may be a volunteer mod now but during the incident that bought all of this to light she was in a paid (?) position. Plus she also stepped forward to defend herself and state that she was not involved, so surely that particular issue is resolved? (sorry for all the ??? because I never really understood what her position was)

@koveline:  I find it almost laughable you can’t see what people are complaining about. Putting aside the particular user and her situation (which really has nothing to do with the concern over openness, just highlighted the fact) can you honestly list who the mod team are and what their roles are. I mean just look at my above comment to deadlynightshade, I can’t even accurately describe what bakerella does/used to do and she was active and one of the only power-that-be-types I can actually name off the top of my head.  Can you accurately explain how decisions on thread closing are made, without just referring to TOS like it is some sort of religious text, even though there are examples where TOS is ignored? Can you explain the many many users who have complained and left over unfair warnings and out-of-the-blue bannings? I don’t know about any one else, but I try my hardest to not respond to threads I may become passionate about for fear of being banned or flagged, I have to constantly check myself that my honest opinion isn’t too honest. Whatever your feelings about the drama, surely you can understand why people want questions answered in a manner that isn’t a re-hash of:

“I’m sorry you feel this way about [what issue is bought up], but our TOS clearly states in section [whatever] [copy paste from TOS]. I hope this answers your question. Now I’m going to close this thread so you can’t point out I haven’t actually answered you question about this particular topic.”

Answers which are ‘correct’ but don’t actually explain anything. It’s like answering the question “Why do you like cake?” with “Yes I like cake.”

To answer your question about getting a thread removed, yes. Yes I would be annoyed if you had a thread removed when other people can’t, especially if people noticed and then complained about the disparity and were given no explanation about why you are given preferential treatment and other people aren’t. This isn’t about that user, or at least it shouldn’t be. My original comment was meant to be pointing out that this particular thread appears to have no other purpose then to make people feel bad for having questions and not blindingly following and loving the powers that be. We all love talking about weddings, but I want to be able to talk about weddings in a place that I can actually openly talk, and not constantly have to reword every single post I want to make.

Post # 95
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@koveline:  I just wanted to add a +1 to what you said!

Post # 96
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m still confused about why the mods couldn’t manage the threads by themselves? 

Post # 97
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

@Sibiohan:  can you honestly list who the mod team are and what their roles are.

No, and I don’t see why I would want to. I can comment on someone’s choice of engagement ring without the job descriptions of the people who run the site.

Can you accurately explain how decisions on thread closing are made

Can’t you tell? They usually explain why they closed a thread. Sometimes threads are closed because people are fighting and calling each other names. Other times they’re closed because the thread creator is tired of feedback (usually criticism) and just wants it to stop. Usually it’s the case that someone is being awful, and awfulness doesn’t serve the site well. I’ve never seen a confusing thread closing. Point out one thread that was closed that didn’t have some kind of drama or awfulness in it. And then tell me how it affected your life.

but I want to be able to talk about weddings in a place that I can actually openly talk, and not constantly have to reword every single post I want to make.

You constantly reword every post you make? (Insert Tina Fey “Really?!” here.) I admit, I can be kind of grating, kind of sarcastic, and kind of a snark – I’m not the pleasantest bee on the block. But I’ve never been censored, to my knowledge, and I’ve never gotten a warning. I don’t notice these eggshells you say you’re walking on. And if a mod did come by and warn me? I might have my ego bruised a little bit, but I’d be able to say “yeah, I can see how that was a little catty of me” and move on with my life.

If you stop trying to use the TOS as a trap for the mods of this site, and just accept their guidance, you’ll have just a fine time. I don’t have them memorized, but I’ve never had a problem.

Post # 98
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@koveline:  +1 Thanks for speaking up!

 

@Sibiohan:  There are plenty of people here who find it laughable that people here we so intitled to explanations and modification of the rules. It is a free website, the creators/mods/admin don’t owe you anything. Who really cares if they deleted threads to avoid drama on the site? If it is because you don’t get to delete threads you’ve posted, you knew the deal when you signed up. Not very many people will speak up and disagree with the mob of disapointment here, I in fact got some nasty PMs the last time I disagreed with the whole mess when the TOS were reviewed, but there are people here that are just fine with the way things are done.

Post # 99
Member
4647 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

The saying “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” comes to mind.

Post # 100
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@koveline:  +1

I don’t get why people care SO MUCH about this.  How does it affect your life, really, that those posts were removed?  Unfair stuff happens every day, every where.  Unfair stuff happening on a free wedding discussion board shouldn’t warrant this much anger and frustration. 

The bees who are upset have said their piece many, many times.  Either something will be done about the issues raised, or it won’t.  And based on that each Bee is free to stay an active member of this site or go.  Give the mods/admin/whoever some time to figure it out. 

Everyone just needs to put on their big girl panties and act like reasonable adults.

Post # 101
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@koveline:  I’m just pointed out that for people who do want to know who the mods are and what they do, especially if they have issues how certain things are handled, find it very hard to find the information they need without making blanket statement or starting board wide threads such as the question time thread. The whole drama concerning the mods, such as Bakerella, being attacked was because people didn’t know only admins have the power to delete threads. I don’t need to know who runs a site to enjoy its content, but when drama after drama occurs over warning and bans (threads asking where members have gone, people leaving due to being warned unfairly etc etc) it does kind of make me go ‘well, why is this such a problem that a 20 page thread had been formed’ and when the answer is obvious ‘because the whole way it works is hidden from users’ I like to point it out. Call me annoying like that.

There will always be people that have no problem with how something is done as long as it never affects them. I’m glad you are happy with how the site is run and have never had a problem with warnings or understanding why threads close. But for the people who are affected, it is well within their rights to ask questions and get back up from people who agree with them (just like you can stand up and say you think I’m being silly). I will admit I can be a complete bitch with things I don’t agree on and since witnessing how over sensitive some people are on this site I started editing my posts/not responding to threads. I have seen the [comment moderated for snark] bracket on comments I previously did not think were rude, so call it walking on eggshells if you will since I’ve always been a fairly cautious person. It may not really affect anyone’s lives in the long run, but people are annoying creatures that like to have answers to questions and tend to get pissy when they feel like unfair treatment is occurring.

@ieatunicorns:  I’m sorry you got nasty PMs about the whole drama and I believe everyone has a right to stand up and disagree with issues that come up. It’s great that you fall into the group of people that are happy with the way things are, but there are members who aren’t happy and they are allowed to express their opinion as well. It is a free website, but since I look at their advertisements and click on them every so often I feel less guilty about being argumentative over this. I may not be “entitled” to explanations, but I can still ask for them anyway because even though it doesn’t actually affect me (never needed to delete anything, only just received my first warning which I guessed was coming) it would be nice to have some clear answers. Even if they are answers I don’t like.

Anyway I feel like I am derailing this completely now when originally I just wanted to point out that while this thread seems nice and innocent it is really manipulative and unecessary. If anyone wants to continue this they can PM me.

Post # 102
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Sunchick19:  +100000000000000 thank you for saying that. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

I am sick of all this drama, and over a friggin’ message board?!  I love posting here and talking to a lot of great bees.

Post # 103
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

That sucks people are actually getting harrassing PMs. 

Post # 104
Member
9481 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Seems like I missed a lot while on my honeymoon.  Thanks for the thread and the thanks/apologies.  Remember, there’s no I in team.  I love all my hostess girls and everyone in the community.  I’m also writing this blindly as I have NO CLUE what happened while I was gone.  Much love regardless.  

Post # 105
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

It’s interesting that everyone who has NO idea what happened last weekend is vomiting sunshine and rainbows right now.

The people who DO know are the ones who commented that Penguin’s post is disingenuous and aimed at the wrong parties.

I like the site and have no problem with the mods under normal circumstances, but Penguin, I have a problem with you and this “apology” post.

I read the entire ToS, btw. And you, the mods, admins, TPTB, whatever you call yourselves, really, really mucked this up. Bad.

The topic ‘An apology to our MODERATION TEAM’ is closed to new replies.

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