(Closed) An Awkward Bridal Shower Invite Situation. HELP.

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
megabyte:  Hmm, personally I wouldnt invite any of them unless I thought my mum would be extremely uncomfortable with the other people I had invited. To me the bridal shower is about the bride and having people she is close to, not for all the other guests who are coming to the wedding.

What is it about those 2 women you dont like? Have they treated you poorly in the past or are you worried they might make other people uncomfortable? I think it might be awkward to invite everyone else and not them unless you are actually close to some of the other women in which case you have every right to have them there.

Post # 3
Member
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
megabyte:  I think bridal showers should be reserved for those friends and family closest to the bride. You don’t have to invite everyone invite to the wedding, to the shower.

I would just tell your Mom that you are not comfortable imposing on her co-workers for two gifts (we all know that most people are going to buy you a wedding gift), so you are not including them on the shower guestlist.

Post # 4
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t invite any of them. Could you stop by her work one day and bring in treats to sort of chat and celebrate with them?

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by msbeee.
Post # 5
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Are these two women invited to the wedding? if yes the you have to invite them to the shower, It would be extemely rude of you to invite them to the wedding but not the shower, or other wedding related activities.

Post # 6
Member
2097 posts
Buzzing bee

I have never understood why people act like being invited to a shower is a nice gesture. Showers are ony fun for the bride and people very close to her, In My Humble Opinion. I’d rather do about anything than go to my coworker’s daughter’s shower.

Post # 7
Member
9262 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
2ndtolol:  What? You have that completely backwards. Your statement is not true at all.

Post # 8
Member
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
2ndtolol:  so not true.

“Although everyone who is invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding, the reverse is not the case. You’re not required to invite all of the women who are invited to the wedding to the shower.”

Post # 9
Member
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
Daisy_Mae:  

My Fiance and I had a wedding shower instead of a bridal shower, so everyone that is invited to the wedding was invited to our shower. Also, all the females invited to the wedding are invited to my bachelorette party. I think its rude to leave people out of some wedding events but not others. My guest would be upset with me if I left them out. I also had people at my shower I had never met, including my Fiance family/friends and coworkers of my parents. 

Post # 10
Member
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
2ndtolol:  Just because you had a co-ed shower doesn’t make it proper etiquette for all other shower guestlists to include everyone invited to the wedding.

It really doesn’t matter what you or I individually think is rude, we should be referencing known experts if you are giving guidance on etiquette.

Co-ed wedding showers where all the guests are invited, may have grown out of good intentions, but they are really just taking away the intimacy of the shower and requiring every single one of your guests to give you another gift.

Post # 11
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

View original reply
2ndtolol:  this is terrible advice. If someone is invited to your shower, they 100% need to be invited to your wedding, but the opposite is not true, and definitely not to your bachelorette. I wasn’t about to invite 75 ladies to my bachelorette. 

OP, I wouldn’t invite any of your mom’s coworkers to your shower. It should be a more intimate group of ladies. If your mom wants to host a lunch with all of them, that would be nice; but you have no obligation to have them at your shower. 

Post # 12
Member
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I would stay stick to close family and friends, avoid her co-workers except for maybe one or two she is particularly close with. That way if you leave the two you don’t like out, it doesn’t seem personal (even though it is 😛 ) 

On a side note, I am team “not everyone who is invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower”

Post # 13
Member
1632 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
2ndtolol:  You do have it backwards. I’m super curious as to yours now, though. So if a couple has a wedding of 150 guests, half of whom are women, are you saying 75 people should be invited to the shower? Frankly that just looks a little gift-grabby. Not to mention, you’re not supposed to host your own shower. Someone offers to throw it in your honor. And it would definitely be rude to insist that the shower host invite every single wedding guest, rather than simply the number of people the shower host can reasonably accommodate and afford. AND 75 people should be invited to the bachelorette? I have never heard of such a thing. Including 80-year-old Aunt Millie?

OP, I agree with Julies1949’s suggestion that you tell your mom you don’t want to impose on her colleagues for gifts. You can also fall back on telling her that you really would like the shower to be intimate, and/or you’re trying to be sensitive to how many people your Maid/Matron of Honor can host. (And I take it your mom has no role in hosting the shower, right?)

Post # 14
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Definitely go down the route of wanting it to be more intimate and not imposing for gifts so you won’t be inviting them.

Post # 15
Member
3802 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

um, I wouldn’t dream of inviting my mum’s co-workers to my bridal shower… unless you are personally friends with them too I would find that exceedingly odd!

The topic ‘An Awkward Bridal Shower Invite Situation. HELP.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors