(Closed) An epiphany……and a knot in my gut, ugh

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I get it.  My guy is a little like yours.  I think it’s fine.  Gotta do what you gotta do, right? Go for it!

Post # 4
Member
493 posts
Helper bee

You know your guy the best so if that works for you all. GO FOR IT!!!

My SO is ‘kinda’ like yours. I think he wants to be romantic but just doesn’t really know how. His gift giving has never been good in my opinion. I’m always knd of bummed on bdays, holidays, etc. I guess because I put so much thought into his stuff. But I never let him know that. It’s the thought that counts.

Now that he’s had the ring for over 5 weeks and keeps hinting that he has to plan/pay for something that I know is for the proposal. No matter what the proposal is I’m going to be happy to be engaged and to marry my love. But if it isn’t spectacular then I’m going to be (in the back of my mind only) saying “you made me wait all this time for THIS!” Just because the proposal doesn’t matter to me. I probably won’t even think about it afterwards though.

Good Luck!!

Post # 5
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@Wonderwoman217: I am not mad at all. Can’t hurt to see what his reaction is. My bf is very similar…not really romantic or a planner. Although he surprises me on occasion so I have to give him that. But he WILL drag his feet every change he gets, without fail!

I posted a thread a while ago about my strategies to get him get on the ball with the engagement (one including just taking him to the jewelry store and having him buy my ring on the spot). I think I was feeling just like you at the time…ready to get the ball rolling. Not too long after that thread, and the advice from the bees bascially saying “youre crazy for trying to rush things”, I FINALLY had a serious engagment talk with SO. That talk removed all of my angst! It was great. So hopefully your approach will lead into a wonderful and productive discussion on the topic and you will walk away with the same clarity I did, and satisfaction that you two are on the same page.

Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I thought you were going to say you were going to propse to him. Wait, why don’t you?

Now. So you don’t have to wait until Jan. If you say he isn’t romantic anyway, why not?

At any rate, your plan sounds like it fits your relationship. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think if you want something then go for it.  I spent so much time like you being vague and just hoping that the proposal would just happen.  It did not happen until I told him this is it.  I can’t wait around forever and you need to figure out what you want in life.  Get past your fears or be without me.  He figured it out and now we are getting married in March.  Some guys just need the extra push.  Sure it is unromantic but at the end you both will be happy.  Good luck!!

Post # 9
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Wonderwoman217: Lol…”oh, yummy, candy”.

Well, then, back to plan B.

Mr. Squeeze brought up marriage first. But I guess you could say I lit a fire under Mr. Squeeze after a few months. Only because he knew my stance from day 1 and knew that moving in with him was only under the condition that we were engaged soon. His whole problem was that he wasn’t rich enough for a gigantic ring. Men, is right!

Being light/funny about it is a good way to approach it. Do you guys have a calender in plain view? Go to Jan 2012 and circle a date with a heart and write “No ring pop necessary. Just our promise to be together forever”. He won’t find it for a few months (maybe not even till January) but it’s sneaky and to the point at the same time!

Post # 11
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

“The fear and anxiety can be what holds a lot of men back, makes them procrastinate so much.” <— Precisely!!!

I think we ladies fail to realize the anxiety and pressure guys go through to pick the perfect ring and the perfect time. I know I definitely understimate it at times and your post just made me re-realize how hard it must be for the guys.

My SO has told me on several occasions that I better not propose to him. I told him I’d leave first, haha.

Post # 12
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Wonderwoman217: lol, …So start with November? Put “Superman, turn calendar to January, love wonderwoman”.

Good luck!!!

You can do this!

Post # 14
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My husband is the same way. Every once in a while, I get a surpise, but not often.  But, I prefer to get what I want over being surprised. Like for Christmas, I wanted a garbage disposal from his dad, and exhaust fan for the bathroom from my parents, tv trays from Mother-In-Law, and hubs and I went on a cruise. And guess what? I got everything I wanted, and nothing I didn’t. But I like it that way 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee

I have a friend that did exactly whqat you are plannin on doing in January.  He showed up at the altar. LOL.

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