- 10 years ago
I don’t know exactly what triggered this light bulb moment. Well, I suppose it’s less of a moment, and more the conclusion to a lot of thought. A realization maybe?
Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that I was foolish to think that SO would be romantic, in regards to a proposal, because (here it comes), guess what? He’s NOT romantic. WHY did I think it would be any different? It’s not who he is. When it comes to birthdays, holidays, special occasions, etc, his romance consists of “Welp, gotta go shopping”, the day before whatever the occasion is. A real Casanova, lemme tell ya. I’m not complaining, even if it comes off that way. I’m really not. SO is the best thing in the world (besides my children) to ever happen to me. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. He IS sweet and loving and caring. He knows just how to make me smile when I’m in tears. How to cheer me up when I’m all pouty. He’s my heart. He’s just not the surprise, romantic planner kinda guy. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I just needed to realize it.
I suppose I was hoping that because it’s something as special and a big deal as a marriage proposal, that he would be different. Because you hear so many times (especially here on WB) that totally un-romantic men have pulled one out of their hat, and surprised the crap out of their ladies with a proposal that was uber-romantic. (in keeping with whatever level of romance is for them, everyone’s is subjective) I guess I thought he would be one of those guys. And unless he’s got me completely fooled, and is playing the best role of his life, I don’t think he’s ever gonna be that guy.
I’m going to have to take the bull by the horns, like I do with so many other things. I’m the leader, the planner, the type A in the relationship. He’s the follower, the go-with-the-flow, laid back dude. For the last couple birthdays and Christmases, he’s point blank asked me what I wanted. I gave him ideas. He bought what I said I wanted, and nothing else. I was happy, but not surprised. I suppose I’m just going to have to resolve myself to the fact that he’s not going to ever be any more romantic than he already is. I’m a little bummed, because what woman doesn’t like a little romance now and then. And from an un-romantic guy? Even better.
So, here’s my tentative plan, and the reason for the knot in my gut. I’ve been mulling it over, more as a joke than anything else, really. But I think it’s time to make it serious. As laid back, and un-emotional as possible, I’m going to (playfully but in a way that he knows I mean business) put my foot down. Tell him he has by the end of this year to ask me to marry him, or come Jan 1st, I’m setting the date, and planning the wedding with or without his input. He just has to foot the bill, lol. “Here’s when and where we’re getting married. Mmmkay? Kthanks?” I’ve even got some ring pics saved, complete with stock/item # and everything, so all I’ll hafta do is say, “Here, I like these. Pick one for me.” Unromantic? Yes. But that’s how most of the gift giving goes around here. I just had to realize it.
Lol. I don’t mean that to sound or come across as bitchy or ultimatum-ish as it sounds, but I do want it to convey that I mean business, and I’m tired of this wait and see and talk and blahblahblah shit. Enough is enough. Seriously. Romantic surprises be damned. More than anything, I hope that this will serve as a catalyst for some serious conversation. Up until now, it’s all been vague and one-day, and soon, and a couple years type talk. I’m hoping this will call his bluff, and make him put up or shut up.
Sorry for rambling, and thanks for listening, if you got this far, lol. I’m not really looking for advice, this is more of a vent, really. And I’m probably a little more moody, seeing as how AF is in town.