(Closed) An extra bridesmaid, short one groomsman

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
6273 posts
Bee Keeper

Until i joined the bee I never heard of same number of BMs/groomsmen. Have who you love and who can do it. This is one of those ‘bride going loopy’ moments. Deep breath. 

Post # 3
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

It sounds like it would go over better to have a stranger join the groomsmen rather than ask a bridesmaid to drop out. Is there no one else who can be added to the men?

Post # 4
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Is this real ? Do you really have that many people who you are that close to? So that when EIGHT people drop out you find another 8!?! Wtf

We are having  4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids.  No problem.  It won’t look stupid OR TACKY.  We just want our best friends.  I’m not picking another bridesmaid  just to even numbers up, I want all the people I love standing up there with me.

You want to ask someone to drop out ? Go for it. You probably  will anyway. You sound like a delight

Post # 5
9756 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Of COURSE they said no, they would only be stand ins to make up the numbers!

I can be pretty anal about symmetry too, but get over it.

For walking back down the aisle after the ceremony (and before if the bridesmaids are walking with the groomsmen then too) have one of the groomsmen walk with one bridesmaid on each side, so it’s not anyone walking by themselves or in an uneven looking grouping.

Post # 6
4103 posts
Honey bee

ljohnson6032:  saying they’ll look tacky in pics if the numbers aren’t even, asking if you can politely request that a Bridesmaid or Best Man drop out……I wonder why those 8 individuals dropped out 🤔🙄 

Good luck to you! I hope you have a pinterest perfect, symmetrical wedding day. 

Post # 7
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

I’m now so sad that my photos will look tacky as I have a Maid/Matron of Honor and a bridesmaid and Fiance has a best man and two groomsmen lol. Thank goodness I hadn’t planned a bridal party dance…. 

Post # 8
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I can see this thread bursting into flames..  

Post # 9
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016 - Muhlhauser Barn

i would stop. take a deep breath. and breathe it out. i know this might be frustrating for you but believe me that its not the end of the world.  many ppl have sides that aren’t even and though this may bother you i think you are having tunnel vision at this point and not looking at big picture here. Asking a friend to drop out would be so hurtful!


Post # 10
1800 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

There is more to this story.. Why have you had so many drop out? Your friends aren’t props. Please, get over it. It’s the absolute last thing you will care about.

Post # 11
43 posts
  • Wedding: June 2017

We are having 8 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen, Talk about uneven, but do I care? No. 

Post # 12
1424 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

What’s tacky is using friends as replaceable props. Do not worry about this, your bridal party are your honored guests. 

There is no nice way to ask her to drop out, for the sake of symmetry. 

Post # 13
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

This sounds like something off that Bridezilla TV show. The day is supposed to be about you and your spouse coming together in front of friends and family to promise to always be with each other. Inviting strangers or alienating friends for the sake of symmetry is not only wrong it is disgusting. Take a moment to review why you are so stressed out and nit-picking about matters that have nothing to do with why you are marrying this person.

I come from a family with severe OCD but even this is extreme. My only suggestion aside from “get over it” would be to have the last groomsman walk 2 ladies down the aisle one on each side of him. 

Post # 14
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m a perfectionist and I had to get over my unequal numbers.

We decided to have them all walk down the aisle solo, but upon exit the Best Man will escort TWO BMs – on on each side.

I’m actually looking forward to it because the Best Man is my brother who’s mentally ill so he’ll have his “Look at me with the ladies” moment. It’ll be cute!

Post # 15
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We are having 7 bridesmaids (no MOH) and 5 groomsmen (including a best man). It’s not the end of the world to have uneven parties. 1 luck guy can escort 2 ladies!  And 7 to 6 really does NOT look uncoordinated.  You can also talk to your photographer beforehand to make it look more coordinated in the pictures, if it’s really bothering you.

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