(Closed) An invitation with your name only – means guest or no guest?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

No name, no bringing guests.

Post # 4
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would assume that means only me but I have found in my own experience that many people think it’s an open invitation.

Post # 5
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Ettiquette very, very clearly states that if only your name is listed, only you are invited.

Post # 6
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I assume NO “and guest” means NO GUEST! And If I was in a relationship and unsure I’d ask before INVITING someone! GOSH! That stinks :/

Post # 7
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would assume only me!

Post # 8
18 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

If it doesn’t say and guest then a guest wasn’t invited.  I had a few people add a guest on even though they weren’t given a guest.  Some people just don’t get it.


Peter Smith (no guest)

Peter Smith & Guest (guest welcome)

Post # 10
1963 posts
Buzzing bee

As I said in a previous post, a lot of people just don’t know.  And the reception card which often allows you to fill in the number of guests doesn’t help.  But your friend is pretty stank for saying that shhh to you.

Post # 11
4485 posts
Honey bee

If it doesn’t list anyone else, then only you are invited.

Post # 12
1205 posts
Bumble bee

That’s rude of your friend! 

Seriously – let me bump my grandma so you can bring your flavor of the month?

  Why don’t you diffuse the situation by saying you will do your best to “fit the guest in” when what you can really do is see what your numbers are looking like.  If you have the room and are willing to allow the guest – just to keep the peace – then do so, but there’s no shame in letting your friend know that it was rude/bad ettiquette / a pain in the butt for you…

Post # 13
27 posts

How frustrating! Miss Sapphire and Johnsbride09 are right, no name=no guest. Unfortunatley, many people no longer understand etiquette. I agree with Querida that IF there’s a possibility you’d keep a guest possibility on the list just to keep peace, but at the same time, if she’s not discreet about it, you could wind up having this problem and expectation with your other singles wanting +1’s.

At least she’s only asking for one. I’ve been at weddings which were clearly adult, very formal events and very nice venues, and parents have brought their kids. Not on the invite, but brought them anyway, and they were all under the age of 5. And there were at least 2 or 3 per couple.

Let us know how it goes. (hug)

Post # 14
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I would assume that if only my name were on the invitation that I was not invited with a guest, although if I really wanted to bring someone I might ask if that was okay (before I invited a date)–although I probably wouldn’t do that unless I knew absolutely no one other than the couple.

But I am learning that people invited to weddings become suddenly less bright and who knows how they will interpret it.

Post # 15
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you were clear with the way your invitation was addressed.  It’s presumptive of her to assume otherwise.  I think it’s fine to ASK (if she can bring a guest), but just as any question, the answer “NO” is a fair and appropriate answer.  She’s being rude by calling you cheap, because she didn’t like the answer you gave her.

You didn’t do anything ‘wrong’.

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