(Closed) an invited guest is bringing her child to our wedding instead of her husband

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

You should call her and let her know that you only want those very few children at the wedding.

Post # 4
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yep, call her and indicate that it is an adult wedding.  If she makes any comment about the couple of kids there, tell her they are children of close family members.


Seriously what the hell are wrong with people?!

Post # 5
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would call her to clarify things with her (did your invite say: Friend’s name +1; or Friend and Husband?)… One way or the other, a phone call is probably the best option.

Post # 6
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2004

My husband’s cousin did this, and we had an adults-only reception (cost-wise, there were too many kids in the family to include them all). She RSVP’d with her daughter (4, I think?) instead of her husband. Someone called or emailed, and said we’d love to have her at the ceremony; all were welcome. Unfortunately, we weren’t planning to have kids at the reception.

Post # 7
7 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

Tough one! I think many people don’t understand common wedding invitation etiquette. It’s not taught, and unless you’re involved in planning one and have been to quite a few, you might not even realize you’re committing a wedding faux paux! Your friend probably doesn’t know about the “No Kids” rule, so it’s best to run it by her. I can see it her way, too. It’s tough finding a trustworthy, dependable babysitter nowadays, and cost might be an issue with folks. I can see it being an inconvenience. But that’s not your problem, and if she really wants to go to the wedding, she’ll find a babysitter so she and her husband can go. If she still insists on bringing her daughter, be apologetic, composed but firm. If she really is your friend, she’ll understand.

Post # 8
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would call her and say that it is an adult recption only with only a few family exceptions. There’s a lot of guests that do not like this but it is your wedding and your choice. Escpecially since the invite was addressed to the Mr. and Mrs! Maybe some people just do not know any better

Post # 9
640 posts
Busy bee

I would call and explain the situation. When we had friends who didn’t have a plus one but asked to bring one we put it off on the budget and that seemed to help.

Post # 11
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@mbmjwm: I’m also surprised by the amount of people who don’t want date night!!  I’ve had so much push back regarding no kids at my wedding, even after I explained that I would pay for babysitting.  I just don’t get it.

Post # 12
2246 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

They really want to bring their kids!!! I think they want everyone to see how they have grown. I had one guest just say she wouldn’t come but she would send her husand and the kids. Thanks! I don’t even know them like that.

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