(Closed) An ode to passive/aggressive comments 2013

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I have a friend who I’m pretty sure had a thing for me always say something along the lines of “Oh Nurse_Bee is going to break up with her boyfriend. ” whenever other people talked about their relationship issues. I was just like um WHAT? Wishful thinking, I assumed.

Post # 19
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

OOOOHH! oohohohohoh! Pick ME!!

………..

Boss, regarding military life:

“Are you sure you want to marry a soldier??” *snurled lip*

Family friend, regarding long term commitment:

“What?! You’re ENGAGED? Oh my God. That just means you’ll hate him in 20 years.” My mom is present, and tries to intercede with, “Oh honey, you’re just having a marital rough patch, you’ll be okay.” etc… buuutt the woman instists: “No really, the sooner you start off, the faster you hate him. Bad idea. I’m telling you.”

Relative A, regarding engagement and wedding timeline:

“Ooohh 15 months? Well good. Plenty of time for that to fall apart.”

Relative B, regarding my dress selection:

“Does it have sleeves?” I tell her its strapless (southern August wedding. duh?) and she looks away and does that lip-squishing, eyebrow-raising disapproval thing.

Relative B’s inital reaction to engagement news:

“Is she finishing college?”

…………………………..

My family has come to expect this sort of thing now. We have some good laughs over it. In fact, since I’m a younger bride, whenever my dad is asked when my wedding is he’ll say, “August…”  watch their eyes bug out at a 3 month engagement and then, “…. of 2014.”  and then watch them exhale in relief at my apparent lack of unplanned pregnancy. Mom could kill him over it… Sense of humor is key, ladies. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 21
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh, sooooo many, all from when we were trying to include my future in-laws (just a few reminders of why they’re not welcome at the wedding).

Future Mother-In-Law was pushing for a fancy brunch the day after the wedding, at a country club, and refused to pay for any but “their” guests (expecting my parents to pay not only for our whole park wedding, but another 1500 for half the guests at this brunch).  We told her we’d be happy if that’s what they wanted to host; she all the sudden dropped it (once we mentioned it would be $3000 coming out of their pocket) and said, “Well, I was talking with my friend, and SHE mentioned you wouldn’t want the brunch to be nicer than the wedding.”

“I’m just making sure the groom’s voice is heard.  I’m representing the groom.” – Said multiple times whenever I said wedding plans.  Nevermind that she had no freaking clue what he wanted, everyone knows he and I communicate crazy well, and…c’mon…she expected anyone to believe he gave a f*ck about bows on the tables?

After I mentioned the timeline of dates – rehearsal, wedding, etc – “So when can we slap you?” Actually I guess that was just straight up aggressive.  

Yeah, there’s lots of reasons they wont be welcome at our wedding ๐Ÿ™‚  

Post # 22
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I had one recently. I’m trading in my long unpronouncable Scottish last name for an even longer unpronouncable German married name so the girls at work were teasing me about it during lunch.

Our boss pipes up “Well its not too late, you don’t HAVE to get married”

uhhh yeah thanks Undecided

Post # 23
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When I announced my pregnancy, grinning and happy, to my boss at work, the response I got was, “Congratulations? I think…is this a good thing?” And a million other people asked if it was planned and/or if we were happy about it. We’d been married for a year, are in our mid to late 20s, financially stable, and had just bought a home. But apparantely since we didn’t tell everyone we were trying, they all assumed it was an accident!

Post # 25
Member
6375 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

My mother has come out with some crackers:

“Sometimes… love is not enough.”

And “but you broke up with FI!”

Me: Eh? We’ve never broken up!

Mum: You did. You were sobbing down the phone and then you wondered if you could come and live with me.

Me: *Thinks* What The ****? This is some serious wish fulfilment right there.

And then bridesmaidzilla: “You do know that if you marry a Catholic you have to convert and raise your children Catholic, right? I can’t believe that won’t be a problem for you.” [FYI: Not true]

“I never had you down as one of those judgey people who cared about their children being genetically theirs. I thought you’d just adopt, not be a breeder.”

I’m sure I could go on…

Post # 26
Member
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@littlebeanpole:  Uhg! It makes me cringe to think there’s more than one person out there like this. A good friend (at the time) of mine from college pretty much said the same thing when I showed her my e-ring (and I picked mine out!).

Post # 27
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@kryren:  I picked my own, too! If I was holding out for huge bling I wouldn’t be married until 2023!

Post # 28
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

Ok all of these literally made me “wtf?!”. So sorry you ladies got all these responses!!

Post # 29
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

Wow Bees. Just wooooooow. 

 

I didn’t get any to my face. My mum and dad took the blunt of comments from our grandparents on our wedding day. DH and I did personalized vows, we put some humor into them and also made them all lovey dovey. They were for us. Immediately after the ceremony they turned to my mum and said “Wow, vows certainly have changed since we got married” -_- 

There is more but my parents tried to spare me too much detail. My grandparents and extended family have now been cut from my life after their performances at our wedding. 

Post # 31
Member
2444 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

My grandmother told me last year after meeting my Fiance “I’m just so glad you FINALLY got someone.  I was worried about you!”

I was 29 when I met my now Fiance, I had several dead end relationships and have 3 kids, all of whom I raised basically from birth alone.  Apparently I was damaged goods who was destined to be a spinster. 

I’m now 32 and have another year before we marry.  I’m constantly hearing now “You need to both just make a commitment and set a date and stick with it.”  Because apparently being engaged, living together, buying a house together, raising our kids together etc means that we’re both flakey and unable to commit to one another. Yes we’ve set a couple dates and had to cancel but well I’m sorry that my losing my job, my Fiance being laid off for 6 months and his mom having a sudden heart attack and passing away at the age of 59 put a damper on our plans.  The last 2 years neither of us really felt like it was the right time to continue planning, spending money we couldn’t afford and having a mediocre wedding that both of us would not feel happy with, just so we could say we were finally married.  Its a piece of paper and a title, we already live like husband and wife.

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