(Closed) An ode to the passive aggressive comment

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 1
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ok, so laughter is the best medicine and humor is the best antidote for anger, right? To that end, I’m going to start my own little list of the best passive aggressive wedding related comments I’ve heard – mine and other people’s – and remind myself that in the end they are so ridiculous you have to laugh!

     –  My friend’s aunt to her after she picked her wedding dress. She and her finance moved in together two months before the wedding:

"Oh, you picked the dress, how wonderful. Oh, did you get WHITE?" pause pause "Oh. Really. Ah…I mean, is it PURE white?"

     – My single friend to me, in regard to a haircut I am trying out pre-pre-wedding (still plenty of time for it to grow out at this point,) and me on the dance floor at the reception. 

"Wow, you got your hair chopped." Pause. No further comments, no ‘It’s cute!’

"Rosey is going to be SO adorable on the dance floor. She is the worst dancer you have ever seen, it is just the cutest thing ever. I love watching her, it’s so funny watching her trying to move to a beat!" (um…I am from a culture where dancing is huge. I have plenty of rhythm, thanks very much!)

    – My older relative to me, in regard to the idea of having cupcakes.

"Cupcakes. Really? Aren’t those for, you know, kids birthdays? Hmm. Well, I mean I guess it would be cute if you’re doing kind of a birthday party backyard barbeque theme. You can have pony rides for the kids, too."

    – My single friend to another friend, after she announced her engagement. This comment was about five minutes later, apopros to nothing

"Yeah hey, remember when X dumped you in high school? Man, that was rough! No warning, and suddenly he was going out with X! You poor thing."

 

Feel free to add on! Someone should do a study, I think there is some cultural or evolutionary phenomenon surrounding weddings that is guaranteed to bring this kind of thing out in fellow females!    

 

Post # 3
Member
1356 posts
Bumble bee

Haha! These are hysterical! I’ll have to think of some I’ve heard…

Post # 4
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Awww, these are sad that you had to hear them but funny to read now!

Some people are just……yeah.

Great thread, though!

Post # 5
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

Hahaha! "Remember when X dumped you? That was sad, right? You weren’t glowing with joy then, right? RIGHT?"

People crack me up! I wish I had some great stories to add.

Post # 6
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Ok my Fiance and I got engaged in March then within days annouced our wedding is this July 4th. We were out and a not so friend heard, immediately put her hand on my stomach, narrowed her eyes in and shouted "A shotgun wedding! How cute! Should you be drinking?" Um, I was not preggers, just bloated from Aunt Flo. I laughed it off, but deep down wanted to knock her block off.

Another girl, speaking on my ring, said "Ah, a princess cut, how unoriginal. Its cute though!" From a girl who cant keep a boyfriend for more than 2 weeks.

I really laughed at the one commenting about the ex after the engagement annoucement! Does she have a brain? LOL!

Post # 8
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This is Not Wedding Related related but I had to share it.  My mom and dad came in to where I work a few months ago.  I had on dress pants a nice blouse and high heeled shoes.  My mother told me "Wow, you don’t look nearly as fat as you really are when you’re all dressed up"  I wanted to say "wow, you don’t sound nearly as rude as you really are when y ou keep your mouth shut."

Post # 9
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Me: Showing off my brand new sparkling engagement ring to my friends….

Her: "Wow that would look really gaudy on me"

 

I announced I was getting married at a plantation house

Her: "my mom said it doesn’t count unless you get married in a church"

 

Why is it necessary to say anything at all if you can’t say something nice?! I mean, really. 

I have lots more….I just have to think of them.

Post # 10
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

FH’s best female friend while she is still trying to befriend me, just irks me all the time. She mines for information in ways that are just rude and none of her buisness.

For example, we got engaged, that is I got the ring he picked out 9 months ago, just 2 months ago, but he originally asked me to marry him 16 months ago (just felt like people wouldn’t take us serious until there was a wrapped finger), and her response to me, woudln’t even say it to him "wow, not a long engagement, why are getting married so quickly?"

 and

"you’d have thought someone would have told me about this celebrity lifestyle wedding of y’alls"

um? why? you knew we were engaged. if you wanted to know, you could have asked my FH, your friend, instead of sending me email in some snarky manner. BC, you know honestly, you have other guy friends that have cut you out of their lives because their new wives were uncomfortable with you.

and most recently her attempt to find out what church we plan to attend in Houston, "We can meet after the early service (First?) -of which I take to mean Houston’s First- where FH used to go but we found a smaller church I like, and she goes to a different church…you think I want her attending our same church? yeah, me thinks not.

sorry, this aren’t truly passive aggressive but none the less, I have still agreed to meet her for brunch. tell ya what, will not be showing her anything wedding related before the wedding.

 

 

 

Post # 11
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

When my Fiance and I told my Future Mother-In-Law that we were not planning on getting married in a church her reaction was this : "Oh…you’re NOT getting married in a church? And your comfortable with that?"

Ummm…clearly we are if that was the decision we made! No – I hate the thought of getting married outside a church but thought – what better day to feel uncomfortable and miserable than on my wedding day! (insert sarcasm here!)

Some people!

Post # 12
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

During my FIL’s wedding toast at the reception, he told me that I had "added the nuts" to the family.  He said this multiple times, not just once, and he wasn’t even drunk!  

Later on, he said he meant it as I was adding the nuts (his crazy family) to (my) family.  Uh-huh…

Post # 13
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

During my wedding, one of my aunts came up to my sister and said "Wow that dress is gorgeous on you, you look so much more beautiful today than on your wedding day".  Her wedding had only been 5 months earlier and she had been very vocal about how much she hated my sister’s wedding and her dresss to everyone but my sister.

Post # 14
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This is Not Wedding Related, but one of my Mom’s friends told me after I returned from college one summer "Oh, it’s so nice to see you lost all that puppy fat"

Um, I didn’t realize I had puppy fat!

Post # 15
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

man, my mil was just full of passive aggressive comments.  her mo was to say "i know you said you’re doing x, but if you change your mind, i’ve researched options y and z for you."

it drove me nuts!! i was like, seriously, i’ve made my decision and that is final!  let it go!

Post # 16
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think the only one that stands out in my mind is the woman (I was taking care of her kid in the hospital) who grabbed my hand, looked at my brand new ring and then said, "Oh, honey, it’s ok someday he’ll be able to afford a bigger rock that isn’t so YELLOW-ey"…

Grr… It’s supposed to be yellow… Smile.  Breathe.  Keep taking good care of kid.

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