(Closed) An ode to the passive aggressive comment

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 167
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Ug some of you girls handle the PA comments so well.  I’m still hurt by my least fave one:

My mother, upon seeing me in my wedding dress ‘Well you’re going to lose weight before the wedding, right?’  UGH I am STILL so mad about it.

Post # 168
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Comment from my aunt over the phone, (with whom I actually have a very good relationship), upon hearing that our wedding will be in Mexico.  Word for word:

"MEXICO??? I’m not going to Mexico.  First of all, I don’t like their food.  I hate burritos.  And it’s so dangerous there, all those drugs.  Plus I haven’t had a chance to travel where I really want to go, which is Paris, because all these other obligations keep coming up.  I want to go to Paris and look at art.  There’s no art in Mexico.  If I had to pick somewhere to visit, Mexico would not be at the top of the list.  In fact, I think it would be absolutely the last place in the world I would ever choose to go."

pause, then:  "Do you think anyone is actually going to show up?" 

I was so shocked that I just sat there for a minute, then politely told her that she should probably stay home and that I had to get off the phone now.  Crazy!  And culturally offensive!

Post # 169
Member
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

30 minutes after my wedding, people started asking to see my ring. Somebody asked me, "is it supposed to be like that? it’s….nice…" which everyone thought was the rudest thing ever and I just kinda stared at her and said, "yes, it’s 3 rings…" like "duh lady" 

It’s two diamond bands on the sides of my engagement ring. Apparnetly the woman has never seen 3 bands together all at once? I wanted to smack the dumb look off her face. Anyone with half a brain who’s seen my ring knows it’s fab LOL =P 

Post # 170
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

when we got one of our sets of e-pics back, i showed my mom and she said two things as she flipped rather briskly through them…..

1. they’re interesting.

2. wow, that’s a big tree.

There are some times where you should just be overly nice IMO, even if it is very difficult and painful. I don’t know how I came from that woman, she is a sweet lady, but as I grow I find she is a very negative, never happy for other people person….which I think in turn makes me strive to be that much kinder & selfless every day. Oh family!

Post # 171
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Here’s some.

-Five minutes after a very good friend of mine (well, I thought she was!) saw my engagement ring for the first time, said, "When I get engaged I want to have a diamond too.." then looked down at mine, "..but I want a BIG one."

-Two days after having a long conversation about my concern over the high average age of guests and the likelihood of them dancing:

"Oh. My. God. I was at the BEST wedding this weekend! The BEST! The ‘average age’ of the guests was young and it made SUCH. A. DIFFERENCE."

-Twenty minutes after I finished talking about how I was a bit sad about not be be able to invite everyone I would ideally have liked to the wedding (primarily because we’re getting married in the deep country overseas and there isn’t anywhere to house absolutely everyone we would have like to invite), and while talking about a different subject, I got, "For my wedding I’m going to invite everyone I like. Absolutely everyone. I couldn’t imagine not having ALL. MY. FRIENDS. around me to celebrate."

-Last but not least, the best of all. I’m not ostentatious. I like nice things, but I don’t think something is nice because of its price tag and neither does my fiance. So, for the wedding, we’re not having hugely fancy things, we are, however, treating our guests to three days of activities together with accommodation and all food, alcohol and transport in France. So, IN FRONT OF ME, while talking to someone else, this ‘friend’ who was invited says, "Yes the it [the wedding] should be good, although she’s not spending much, she’s having a CHEAP wedding."

This friend has been uninvited (for the above, plus way more that doesn’t fit into this thread).

 

Post # 172
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Less than 24 hours after announcing our engagement, my mom emails me and tells me she found the pictures from “my wedding”. I was married for 3 weeks, had it annulled, 10 YEARS AGO, and my parents will not let go of it.  She did not say “my first wedding” or do the tactful thing and just toss the pics which I obviously don’t want, I kicked the ex out before the pics even came back 10 years ago.

She has not once mentioned the pics in 10 years. She chose the morning after we announced to bring this up.

My mom is a psycho. I hate to say it but I really dislike the woman and want her to have nothing further to do with my life with Fiance. We won’t be having kids so really, I see no reason why she even has to be in our lives. 🙁

Post # 173
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have one for you, but this one came from a bride.

This girl I have known for a few years, I really supported her when she broken up from her ex.  But when she got together with her now Husband, she basically became too good for everyone.

I was invited to the wedding mainly because she married my other halfs best friend (not that they really see wach other at all anymore)

Anyway, at the wedding she came up to me and said “Oh, yeah I have to tell you everything on the menu has chilli in it, I know your allergic to chilli, but figured you could eat a bread roll or something”

nice….. joke is on her though, shortly after she was carrying on how she had a $200 per head wedding.  Guess she wasted the money she spent on my food.

Post # 174
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I had one this week from FI’s aunt who he isn’t close to, but assumes that she’s being consulted about every wedding detail (not sure why…). She told Future Mother-In-Law that I’ve very tight-lipped about the wedding (I never see her and she never asks!) and that she hopes it all comes together for us! Like we can’t plan a wedding without her help???

Post # 175
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Most of what I can remember of the passive aggressive comments we got were from all of our grandparents. We got things like…

“We got married in a church and then had the reception in the church basement with cake and punch. You should really do that instead of the extravagant plans you have in place. You can’t afford that anyway.”

What?!?

Now I am not saying there is anything wrong at all with having a ceremony in a church with a reception following with cake and punch. It did wonders for their 65+ year marriages! I just didn’t appreciate the assumption that we couldn’t afford our “extravagant” wedding. It’s hard to be mad at the grandparents for too long though…

Post # 176
Member
7 posts
Newbee

This thread cracks me up!

So far we’ve only had 2 “types” of comments (not very sure if they’re PA or just plain A!):

My mom pretty much has disliked every one of my choices, so she’ll say “I don’t like your colors/venue/linens/food/whatever but it’s your wedding so if that’s what you want” (It drives me crazy that’s she couches everything with “well it’s your wedding” Ugh.)

Not directly to me, but said to my Future Mother-In-Law. For context, we are getting married on my FI’s parents’ property; however we are paying for the wedding ourselves. They have been very generous and not pushy at all and it’s been great. The problem is FMIL’s friends who tell my Future Mother-In-Law that she’s “crazy” for allowing us to have the wedding there, and that she’d should invite everyone she wants because she’s hosting (um, no: 1. <span style=”text-decoration: underline;”>we are paying for it!!!! 2. we wanted a small wedding so we don’t want to invite a ton of parent’s friends who we do not know… and 3.it’s none of your business!!!).

I’ve done OK trying to get things to roll off my back,

I hope everyone can do the same!

 

Post # 177
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have three good friends who are the same age as I am – our birthdays are literally a few months apart. One of them is married, one is engaged, and one is single. When I told them about how I am wedding planning, the single friend’s response was “Well it’s about time, I mean, you are the oldest one of all of us.”

Um…by two months! What?!

Post # 178
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My mother: “I’m sure everything will go fine on your wedding day. Well, not everything. I’m sure something will go wrong.”

Post # 179
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My favorite is the text from my Maid/Matron of Honor talking about color palettes:

Me: I was thinking of gray and yellow.

Her: Sounds ugly.

Me: What about gray and aubergine?

Her: Sounds ugly. 

Me: Well what colors do you like?

Her: I like yellow but I’m doing that when I get married.  Why don’t you just elope?

Me: …

WTF?

Post # 180
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

AmberMcBride: Hilarious!!! I am laughing so hard!! People are just nuts!

Post # 181
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just remember a good friend’s d-bag of a boyfriend trying to talk us out of marriage before we even got engaged because he didn’t believe in it. This was the first time we’d met him. Needless to say, I was not disappointed when they broke up.

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