Post # 1
I put together my girls gift bags this morning. Part of the gift is lovely rifle paper co journals and I was planning on writing them each heartfelt letters in the front of them thanking them for being in our wedding and their support & friendship. I ended up writing a couple of sentences – just a general thankyou bc I honestly had nothing nice to say. Here is what I really wanted to say:
Dear Maid/Matron of Honor,
It is so true what they say about wedding planning and weddings in general showing you people’s true colors. It has shown me yours that’s for sure. You have put me down, belittled my feelings, called me ridiculous, a bridezilla. You have shown a complete lack of respect, empathy, understanding… All of the things friends are supposed to have for eachother. You made me feel terrible for choosing to become a step mother, repeatedly mocked my role as a mother and my decision to choose the wife/mother path for my life.
All of the things you said you would do and said you would be there for – you weren’t. You have fought me every step of the way, on every decision I have made that has involved you. You call me the bridezilla, but you have tried so hard to make this about YOU. You demanded hairstylists and makeup artists and insist you need longer to get ready than I do the morning of bc ‘you have to look perfect’. You have always competed with me I dont know why i thought this would be any different.
I thought you were my best friend. You forgot the bachelorette party you forced me to plan bc I’m ‘too picky’ and you’re just ‘too busy’. YOU FORGOT ABOUT MY BACHELORETTE PARTY. I know you say you want to make it up to me, but honestly, you can’t. I guess I see now that our friendship has been growing apart for some time now. We are clearly in two very different places in our lives that can’t seem to reconcile with eachother. But think about it – have I ever put you down for choosing to put you career first? Have I ever done anything but support you? Even when I disagreed with you.
I feel like this is a breakup… I’m heartbroken, betrayed… All of those things you feel when you get dumped. I can’t believe you haven’t called, texted, msgd… Anything. When I broke down and contacted you today you just seemed so flippant like oh whoops, lets go out on Friday. I explain that I have the kids and can’t and you give a huge sigh as if its somehow my fault. I could go on and on. I won’t. You really hurt me dude.
Well I actually feel a bit better now.
Post # 3
@Weetzie: Sigh. That’s so heartbreaking. I’m sure there’s a part of you that wishes you could actually give her that. I would want to, I know that for sure. I hope you get through this wedding and your day is ultimately not affected by her behaviour. Hugs.
Post # 4
@NLbride: Thank you 🙂 I just want to get through the wedding with her and then I probably will tell her some of what I have been feeling (not like this obviously). I think it just might be a lost cause though 🙁
Post # 5
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Friend break-ups really suck.
Post # 6
@Weetzie: I am so sorry! That has got to be hard. Sometime friend break-ups are even harder than relationship break-ups, because there is such a bond with best friends. So sorry you are dealing with this, and trying to get through your wedding.
I am sure it felt better to “say” it, even if it’s pretend. Sometimes ending a toxic relationship is better for both people, instead of trying to make it work when it won’t. You’ll be better off in the long run, but HUGS for now.
Post # 7
@Weetzie: Wow really sorry to hear that, a break-up, any type of break-up is hard, but this might be something that should probably be left till after the wedding, for your own sake, that way you don’t have to deal with the drama in the final days leading up to the big day(i see your wedding is very soon so congrats btw <3). Unless you really don’t want her there anymore then telling her this is the way to go, I honestly doubt she would come after that, but it really sounds like you don’t really want her there now anyway which is totally understandable. Hope this works out for you and I hope it doesn’t bring you down, focus on the positive, even if the positive is knowing that she will be out of your life after the wedding. xox
Post # 8
I am sorry that you’ve had to go through this, but also, congratulations! You just got married to the love of your life, you are trying to be the best wife and mother you can be, and you just got rid of a really negative force in your life. Cheers to new and positively happy beginnings
Post # 9
Oh how this hits home for me…
Not only did my Maid/Matron of Honor back out but another long time friend who is a bm, is being a total brat. Not coming to my shower, not helping, she doesnt resond to anything I send her asking about her life (not wedding related)…I am just seeing her true colors as well.
I am sorry you are going through this…wanna stand in my wedding and I’ll stand in yours? lol
Post # 10
@Weetzie: seriously, if she’s been that much of a crap bag, once it’s all said and done, I would totally PRINT THAT LETTER AND HAND IT TO HER!!!
but, that’s me bein’ a B….
I’m sorry she’s made it so rough for you!!!
Post # 11
@MissMudge: I’ll be there! Lol we can both tell our friends random Internet ppl were a better choice than they were!