(Closed) An unhappy proposal – ring drama?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 228
Member
612 posts
Busy bee

You “let him rant at you”??!  WTH?  Why do you put up with that?!  

Dude, just get out.  Leave.  You don’t need that shit and he can find some other chick to deal with his drama.

Post # 229
Member
612 posts
Busy bee

Also – “i just told him that I still loved him and wanted to put hit his behind us and move forward”  What is this?!  Why are you doing this to yourself?  He’s shown you his true colors.  Please tell me you have more self esteem than this, sweetie.  

Sigh.  

Post # 230
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@IndyCat: I’m sorry to hear that. He obviously overreacted and now so even more, he cancelled your wedding over this, he obviously isn’t serious about getting married and it seems to me like he was probably just waiting for something to start a fight about and he found it. Do yourself a favor and leave him, he isn’t ready for marriage and you deserve someone who doesn’t rant AT you, doesn’t act like a pouty baby and listens to you when you say you don’t want an engagment ring.

Good luck.

Post # 231
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@JoCoJenn:  I was thinking this might have been a setup or test all along, as well. I JUST helped my best friend get out of an emotionally abusive relationship. We both had to get protective orders against the guy it got so dangerous. The type of behavior OP is describing will be just the tip of the abuse iceberg. I’m seeing serious red flags.

One thing I have come to understand is that evil people really do exist and a big problem with our society is how we make excuses and try to justify the bad behaviors of toxic people instead of suggesting they need correction. For example “Yes, he rants at me every day after work, but his job is so stressful, he just can’t help it. He’s just a guy blowing off steam” or “he had a bad childhood, that must be why he’s so angry”. It seems like a lot of people out there dont want to believe that someone could and would purposefully and knowingly victimize another person with emotional abuse but it happens all the time. I honestly think every woman should read “In Sheep’s Clothing” and watch for the warning signs of character disturbance.

Post # 232
Member
3338 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@IndyCat:  Wow, I am so sorry.  Take your cat and go somewhere where you’re not going to be yelled at.  Preferably family.  This guy is a grade A jerk.

Post # 233
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’ve been following this thread and it seemed clear to me from the start that this had more to Do with something else than the ring. 

 

Your Fiance has handled this entire situation poorly, IndyCat. My best friend was in a similar situation, and she was devastated and guilt-ridden when her relationship dissolved over what seemed to be a very silly argument.

 

You may want to move forward with him, but think about all the big decisions that lie ahead of you as a couple. If he’s been so uncommunicative and blindsided you so in such a frivolous situation, then perhaps he’s not the person you think he was. If you’ve been together for a long time (like 7+ years), then maybe some MAJOR counselling is in order. Otherwise, try to be realist and good to yourself. Take steps that will make YOU happy and give YOU the best life. 

Post # 234
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Wow…

Post # 235
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

HOLY.SH*T

pack your bags and leave, he’s a freaking ass!

Post # 237
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 1994

I would want the ring of my dreams. I would share that with him. If he really cares, he will do what you want and even help you find the ring you would cherish and love to wear from him. Look together and get ideas. good luck.

 

Post # 238
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 1994

 

 

 

Post # 239
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your fiancé ( or ex fiance as he’s calling himself now) is being ridiculous and acting like a child. I wouldn’t want to deal with this mean behavior for the rest of my life, every time there’s a disagreement. He just wants to make you hurt and punish you. Reminds me of my ex husband

Post # 240
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@IndyCat:  WTF??? i’m so sorry he is such a jerk!! it’s honestly a blessing in disguise, though, because it’s a good thing you have this opportunity to GET OUT. a mature and loving Fiance might have been upset, but certainly wouldn’t have acted like this. it will be hard for a while, but you are so much better off! and please don’t blame yourself for bringing the ring thing up… you were being honest, and if you can’t be honest to your life partner without them throwing a fit and wanting to leave, you probably shouldn’t be with them in the first place. 🙁

Post # 241
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow, yeah, either he’s the most controlling, manipulative guy ever, or this is about waaaaay more than the ring and he’s been looking for a reason to get out for a while.

Either way, you’re better off, but I’m honestly very sorry that you’re going through this.  I came looking for an update b/c I was really hoping that he’d have smartened up and apologized by now, but this is crazy. 

 

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