(Closed) An unhappy proposal – ring drama?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 242
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@IndyCat:  After wading through 6 pages of this, I want to say I’m very sorry you saw found out about this side of your Fiance (ex?) in this fashion.


I see one of two things happening: he means what he says, cancels the wedding and you are 100% better off (bitching about you to his mommy? really?) and you move on.  The second thing is what I’m worried about: he cools off for a day or two and then says he didnt mean it and you marry him. 

Post # 243
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think he’s hurt because he went out of his way, budget, and monetary comfort zone and bought and engagment ring for you, not for just you but for himself also.  Men take great pride in the engagement ring they bought for their significant other.  It is a part of achievement in life goals for him, it shows OTHER men you are commited and taken,  and it shows how much he can provide for you prior to marriage.   His ego is hurt right now because he THOUGHT he purchased the perfect ring for you even if it really isn’t your style.   Many men buy solitare rings for the pure fact that their timeless, classic and they can’t go wrong. 


I think you both should take time apart give a little time to sizzle down and relax and think about what you BOTH have said.  Im sure your facial expression when you recieved the GIFT showed great disappointment before you said a word, then saying what you did just jabbed the knife a little further.  His comment about not wearing a wedding band was a jab at you purposefully so you feel the emotions he is.  


Are you really willing to ruin a relationship over a natural element and a piece of rock?  Both of your reactions are hurtful to eachother, can’t you see a little bit where he’s coming from?  I’m sure alls he wanted to do was surprise you with something he THOUGHT you would always want, and give you a gift he obviously thought you would be happy with. 

Post # 244
3206 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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@Sheryl0013:  really? Hve you not read the OP’s updates? Her Fiance is in his late 30s, with an adult daughter, but he’s acting like a petulant child.

Post # 245
6933 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

I agree with the comments here.  It will be so sad if he set you up for this one. His over the top reaction seems like he might have done it in purpose. Stay strong and find a way to distract yourself from this mess.


Post # 246
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow.  I am so sorry IndyCat.  This situation has spiraled to something super out of control.


I hope he realizes how much he is overreacting.  Being disappointed is one thing. What he is doing is something completely different and not at all OK.  I so hope that this works out for you

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