(Closed) An uninvited guest RSVP'd to our wedding. Need advice.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 62
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Crazy! 

 

Yah, ettiquette be damned there is no way I’d let him bring some girl he likes more than his wife to my wedding! How appalling that he thought this was something he could even do!? I’m blown away! His poor poor wife. Now this puts you in a super awkward position.  What if the wife sees pics of them? Does she even know she was invited? Did he hide the invitation from her? UGH! 

edited to say: I forgot it was a DW! So he’s basically using your wedding as an excuse to have an affair.

 

Post # 63
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@greenfishie: 

 

I knew it! Female intuition at its finest. I (and a bunch of others of us here) just knew something didn’t smell right from the beginning. So much for giving him the benefit of the doubt.

 

OP, you sound like a very nice person, but please don’t waste an ounce of your energy worrying about how to smooth over this situation. He has been exceedingly rude and he has put you in a very awkward position. Just tell him frankly that the other half of the invitation was intended for his wife, and that if she can’t make it, you hope he can attend solo (hold your nose when you get to this part… he sounds like a jerk and if I were you, I would be regretting that I’d sent the invitation in the first place). Ugh!

Post # 64
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@greenfishie:  The fact that he thinks he can show up at your wedding with a new chick is appalling. It’s even more appalling that he feels it would be ok.

Please do not let this woman come. Close family and friends only.

 

He wants to introduce his mistress let it be on his OWN dime.

Post # 65
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This is appalling. Wtf is wrong with him?! Wtf is he thinking? Since he’s your friend, you should call him out on his behavior. Not sure how close you guys are but I wouldn’t hesitate to blurt out “what the hell is wrong with you?!”

Post # 66
Member
804 posts
Busy bee

Urgh. His cagey-ness suggests she’s a mistress and that he & his wife are not yet divorcing. It’d be one thing if they were at least separated, but it’s gross that he wants to take his mistress to your wedding, particularly as you know his wife. You’re definitely well within your rights to ban her!

Post # 67
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This is…. just…. so strange! I certainly wouldn’t let him bring her and really feel for you guys with the awkward situation he’s put you in! 🙂 x

 

Post # 68
Member
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

 is it possible that the Husband was trying to be funny and wrote a nickname he has for his wife or something like that?  That’s something my FH would do – although it would be something so bizarre you’d know it had to be a joke..

 

 

 

EDIT: just saw OP’s additional comment (didn’t realize there were 2 pages) I would say no, he cannot bring mystery girl (AND DOES HIS WIFE KNOW!?!?!?!)

 

 

 

Post # 69
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

View original reply
@greenfishie:  soooo… nothing like honoring your wedding by dishonoring his. 

I would actually retract the invite in general if he insists on bringing this other woman. The invite is for him and his wife, and if she can’t make it, he can come alone. 

He SERIOUSLY wanted to introduce the woman he’s cheating on his wife with at your wedding? You are a LOT nicer than me, because I’d be giving him an earful about the sanctity of marriage and how his bringing the “other” woman to yours is pretty much a huge slap in the face. I’m shocked he’d sit there during your vows and not feel any bit of remorse. The irony here is just staggering. 

Post # 70
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Dear heavens.

Plus, destination wedding means he’s also practically taking this woman on a vacation?

Not cool.

Post # 71
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

How in God’s name does this man think what he is doing is ok. I’m going to introduce my misteress at your wedding to our family? WTF…. Is he your friend or is the wife your friend? I wonder if she even knows about the wedding.

Post # 72
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

View original reply
@greenfishie:  it’s possible that he and his wife are in an open marriage but even if that’s the case, he should not bring this mystery woman (is it possible that they are polygamous?). it’s totally unacceptable for him to invite her. it’s not his call to do that.

Post # 73
Member
3680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

No, just no.

How do you know this guy? What a tool. “Yes, come celebrate our marriage and set a great example by cheating on your wife!”

Post # 74
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Tht is so weird and disrespectful!  This is a wedding, not a night club!  I would explain that he and his wife were invited.  If she can’t come, the invite is not open for his girlfriend.  I would not want someone clouding MY WEDDING DAY with their affair!  bad juju much?

Post # 75
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

does his wife know? I’m not suggesting you tell her but does she know she’s invited to your wedding? Are they going through a divorce? So so wierd…

Post # 76
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Tell him he only has 3 options:

  1. decline to attend at all
  2. attend the wedding with his wife
  3. attend by himself

Nobody should care if his widdle feewings get hurt that he can’t bring his mistress.

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