(Closed) An uninvited guest RSVP'd to our wedding. Need advice.

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 92
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

WTF is this guy thinking??? If he was separated from his wife, maybe it would be a different story. Maybe. But bringing a girl he “likes” to a wedding when he should be attending it with the woman he MARRIED is just NOT OKAY.

Post # 93
Member
11265 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

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@greenfishie:  did this guy admit that he and his wife are now separated or is this new woman something on the side?  i don’t think i’d appreciate something scandalous at my wedding. 

had he told you earlier that he and his wife have split and he is now dating someone else, fine, but he blindsided you with this.  not cool.  he really should have called you personally to discuss this prior to sending the rsvp.

are your mutual friends aware of his marital status changing?  this new woman?  or is this a surprise to everyone?

Post # 95
Member
1636 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@greenfishie:  Is he telling the other friends WHY he can’t bring her? Do they know she is his mistress?

Post # 96
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@greenfishie:  *hands over a giant bag of popcorn and a bottle of wine*

 

Jeeeeeze I have no words for this situation!   A) I think you and your Fiance handled it absolutely correctly.   B) The guy is acting like a whiny, bitchy, self-absorbed moron.  No its not ok to bring your mistress to a wedding!! NEVER OK!!!

 

If I started hearing through the grapevine that he was moaning and bitching about not being able to bring an uninvited guest (and the other woman at that!), I’d be letting them know exactly what is up with that.  

 

Ugh, just what a werid ass horrible situation from him to put you and your Fiance in!!  bad friend, bad!

Post # 97
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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@greenfishie:  I know I’m chiming in late but you have received fantastic advice from the bees and I think you and your Fiance have handled the situation perfectly.  Your wedding is your day and just as you can choose whether or not to invite children, you are entitled to make the decision that you want only people that you know personally!  Especially when travelling with these people!

I would be interested in hearing what he is saying to your friends about why he might want to bring someone other than his wife?  If he’s even telling people the truth…  He is behaving like a child.

Stand your ground…. this is your day.

Post # 99
Hostess
11163 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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@greenfishie:   I had a similar situation occur. Friends of ours were going through a very hush-hush divorce. When the RSVP was returned he said two people leading me to think that he was again coming with his wife. It wasn’t until a few weeks before the wedding during a conversation about spelling his wife’s name that he fessed up about the divorce and that he was bringing a “lady friend.” At that point I was so shocked I just let it go.

I do hope that your friend comes to his senses considering you have been open and honest with your feelings on the matter. He is clearly acting like a child throwing a tantrum, sorry he didn’t get his way. Definitely keep us posted, I am dying to know who this random lady is.

Post # 100
Member
2436 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If he keeps pulling crap and telling lies I’d just scan his RSVP in to my computer and post it on facebook….

Post # 101
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t hesitate to respond to those he’s talking to that he is absolutley still invited and knows this.. you aren’t comfortable with his mistress attending as his date…

What a scummy time to out his affair.. at a WEDDING.  How disrespectful to the sanctity of MARRIAGE! 

 

If I were you I’d hope he does NOT come and cut him out of your lives. He sounds like a douche!

Post # 102
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@Kit_Kath:  SERIOUSLY.

I can’t even believe this, OP. This is insane. Honestly, I’d just retract his invitation and cut the friendship. If people ask, be honest.

Post # 103
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It would serve him right for you to take a photo of the RSVP card he returned and post it on your Facebook with the caption “Weirdest Wedding RSVP Ever!”   Tongue Out

Post # 104
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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@Asia:  +1

Or maybe not so drastic.  But I would be quick to point out to anyone who brings it up that he is invited, there was just some confusion over whether he was coming alone or with his wife.  You can even say he RSVP-ed that he would bring his friend you didn’t know, and didn’t feel comfortable inviting, and leave it at that.

Don’t let him tarnish your image.

Post # 105
Member
1503 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh my gosh!  I am speechless.  What a dbag.

Post # 106
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

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@bridesmomma:  I would be tempted to do that too! I know drama is never good and people should try and take the high road, but how frustrating that he is using lies to turn people against this couple!

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