Post # 92
WTF is this guy thinking??? If he was separated from his wife, maybe it would be a different story. Maybe. But bringing a girl he “likes” to a wedding when he should be attending it with the woman he MARRIED is just NOT OKAY.
Post # 93
did this guy admit that he and his wife are now separated or is this new woman something on the side? i don’t think i’d appreciate something scandalous at my wedding.
had he told you earlier that he and his wife have split and he is now dating someone else, fine, but he blindsided you with this. not cool. he really should have called you personally to discuss this prior to sending the rsvp.
are your mutual friends aware of his marital status changing? this new woman? or is this a surprise to everyone?
Post # 94
To my knowledge, they are not separated. He has not mentioned a single thing to me about him and his wife agreeing to see other people either. The only time he really made reference to her was in our original conversation to him when he made a remark that his is starting to like this girl more than his wife.
One henderence I do know is that they currently do not live in the same city, in fact, there is probably a 10 hour distance between the two of them. I do know that they rotate to see each other every other weekend. They got married last year and she has been slowly transititioning herself to move to the same city he lives in. I know that she is having a hard time finding a job where he lives which is why it has taken her so long to move. He has also never complained about his wife before either for me to conclude that they are having marital problems now.
In her recent visit, which was less than a month ago, she brought her dogs over because she was no longer able to keep them at the apartment she currently lives so he is caring for the dogs. If they are having problems, its kind of odd for me to believe that she would just send her dogs over. I know how people love their dogs and passing it over to a potential ex-husband doesn’t sound right. Another observation is that we were hit with many weddings the past year. He always attended with his wife! For one of the weddings, the wife did not go because she was taking care of her sick grandparent so he went alone. There was never a time when he brought a “guest” until of course MY wedding! oh boy!
The whole situation is just all to strange to us and it keeps getting more bizarre. Anybody have any popcorn for all this drama?
Post # 95
Is he telling the other friends WHY he can’t bring her? Do they know she is his mistress?
Post # 96
*hands over a giant bag of popcorn and a bottle of wine*
Jeeeeeze I have no words for this situation! A) I think you and your Fiance handled it absolutely correctly. B) The guy is acting like a whiny, bitchy, self-absorbed moron. No its not ok to bring your mistress to a wedding!! NEVER OK!!!
If I started hearing through the grapevine that he was moaning and bitching about not being able to bring an uninvited guest (and the other woman at that!), I’d be letting them know exactly what is up with that.
Ugh, just what a werid ass horrible situation from him to put you and your Fiance in!! bad friend, bad!
Post # 97
I know I’m chiming in late but you have received fantastic advice from the bees and I think you and your Fiance have handled the situation perfectly. Your wedding is your day and just as you can choose whether or not to invite children, you are entitled to make the decision that you want only people that you know personally! Especially when travelling with these people!
I would be interested in hearing what he is saying to your friends about why he might want to bring someone other than his wife? If he’s even telling people the truth… He is behaving like a child.
Stand your ground…. this is your day.
Post # 98
I have not really gotten into details with any friends because I feel like if I do, it will only get worse. From what people have been voluntarily telling me though is that he is telling people that we invited him, then personally called him up to uninvite him because we are uncomfortable inviting him. He is also saying that we will re-invite him if enough people don’t R.S.V.P on time since there are other people on our top priority list to be invited that is above him. This is SO UNTRUE but of course also did not come from him so I don’t really know the truth. But if this is what he is saying, the conversation went NOTHING like that! We kept reiterating to him that he is still welcomed to join us and that he is still a really good friend in our lives! How could that have been misinterpreted?
It doesn’t sound like anyone knows about the mystery guest that he took upon himself to add on to our guestlist though. Because nobody really sounds offended by the fact that HE is mad and some are even questioning why he isn’t supposedly invited.
Even though he is mad, I am glad we told him how we felt. I don’t know how I would feel or react on our wedding day when he awkwardly makes an annoucement :”hey guys, this is my mistress! She is better than my wife and I’ve been dying to introduce her to everyone!”. A wedding gone bad can’t possibly get any worse than that! Does he actually think this is a good idea?!
Post # 99
I had a similar situation occur. Friends of ours were going through a very hush-hush divorce. When the RSVP was returned he said two people leading me to think that he was again coming with his wife. It wasn’t until a few weeks before the wedding during a conversation about spelling his wife’s name that he fessed up about the divorce and that he was bringing a “lady friend.” At that point I was so shocked I just let it go.
I do hope that your friend comes to his senses considering you have been open and honest with your feelings on the matter. He is clearly acting like a child throwing a tantrum, sorry he didn’t get his way. Definitely keep us posted, I am dying to know who this random lady is.
Post # 100
If he keeps pulling crap and telling lies I’d just scan his RSVP in to my computer and post it on facebook….
Post # 101
I wouldn’t hesitate to respond to those he’s talking to that he is absolutley still invited and knows this.. you aren’t comfortable with his mistress attending as his date…
What a scummy time to out his affair.. at a WEDDING. How disrespectful to the sanctity of MARRIAGE!
If I were you I’d hope he does NOT come and cut him out of your lives. He sounds like a douche!
Post # 102
I can’t even believe this, OP. This is insane. Honestly, I’d just retract his invitation and cut the friendship. If people ask, be honest.
Post # 103
It would serve him right for you to take a photo of the RSVP card he returned and post it on your Facebook with the caption “Weirdest Wedding RSVP Ever!”
Post # 104
Or maybe not so drastic. But I would be quick to point out to anyone who brings it up that he is invited, there was just some confusion over whether he was coming alone or with his wife. You can even say he RSVP-ed that he would bring his friend you didn’t know, and didn’t feel comfortable inviting, and leave it at that.
Don’t let him tarnish your image.
Post # 105
Oh my gosh! I am speechless. What a dbag.
Post # 106
I would be tempted to do that too! I know drama is never good and people should try and take the high road, but how frustrating that he is using lies to turn people against this couple!