Post # 1
I don’t know if there is one of these but I haven’t seen one about. The premise being writing a letter that you might want to write but never sending it..or one to yourself/people you don’t know.
Dear ladies at Thomas’ department store,
Please stop looking at me like I’m a dirty homeless woman just because I’m not dolled up whenever I come in. The only reason you can afford anything in there is because you get 40% discount so don’t go getting all snotty and asking “Are you sure you can afford that?!” because one of these days I’m going to roll up my money and shove it up your nostril.
I know that at 4 months old the World is very exciting, but sometimes you need to sleep. Like now and every future time I ask you to. Please!
P.S thanks for just pooping on the sofa while I type this…
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Dear bank associate we got our credit card from:
Screw you for laughing when you asked if I should also be a name on our new credit card and I answered before my Fiance did. I’m actually paying for a good chunk of our wedding and pretty sure I have better credit than Fiance, just because your wife maxes out your credit card every month or whatever doesn’t mean that I am an irresponsible spender. Also, 10,000 bonus rewards miles will get us NOWHERE, maybe you should learn your product before you try to sell it.
Post # 4
Please stop over reacting to every little thing that goes wrong in your life. Your phone not working is NOT a reason to panic and cry and throw a hissy fit. Yes, it just came unplugged from the wall. AND you have 2 OTHER phones in your house that work just fine. I promise. I just checked them for the 2nd time today.
Post # 5
Dear Granny and Granddad,
I miss you every day you aren’t here. I hope heaven is nice, and I hope you’re saving me a spot at the dinner table.
Post # 6
Aw hugs. I just lost my Grandad, and that made me tear up a little.
Post # 7
🙁 I’m sorry for your loss. It gets easier with time, but one never stops missing a grandparent.
Post # 8
Ok, so a real open letter in the spirit the OP meant:
Dear “It’s Just Lunch” lady calling my house phone and soliciting my husband for his business: When I answer the phone and specify that I am his WIFE, that is not an invitation for you to say that you will call him back later. It is also inappropriate for you to HANG UP ON ME after I asked the nature of the call, considering you are a DATING SERVICE. It is also assinine of you to have LIED to my husband when he called you back. You know you hung up on me. You were on speaker, so I heard you tell him that you explained to me that you “removed his name off the list when she said you were married.” Bitch, you hung up on me. Own it, and apologize. Continuing as you have will only start problems for the people you are cold calling.
Post # 9
Dear people in the express lane of Walmart:
Everyone has snuck 21 items in the “20 or less” lane. However, it is considered quite rude to the 8 people in line behind you with less than 5 items each to think that “20 or Less” applies to everyone but you and start piling up the entire cart full of things on the tiny little counterspace. The cashier and everyone behind you IS judging you harshly.
Post # 10
Dear Traffic: Stop sucking.
Post # 11
Dear student I like to call “oh entitled one”,
You are not entitled to anything except an opportunity. If you decide to not do any work, laugh and joke in class, and then when I give you make up work to right your wrongs, u act like I’m being mean for giving you extra work, I am not suppose to say I’m sorry and change your grades. You have a 60 in both the classes I teach you- as your yearly averages. One assignment won’t change that. Stop feeling like I owe you something.
Sincerely, the teacher who made you earn that grade
Dear parent of entitled,
Stop teaching your children to expect to be handed everything. This is not how the world works. Also, don’t tell your son that he doesn’t have to respect me because I’m only 25. That is part of the problem.
Sincerely, the teacher who is trying to help your son pass
Dear mcdonalds employee that handed me my bag today,
Have you ever had a customer say “please, do not give me a straw. I have a serious problem with straws and you should boycott them. Definitely never give them out.” ? Just wondering.
Sincerely, the thirsty girl who really loves straws
Post # 12
To former Maid/Matron of Honor,
Just because you think the world revolves around you, doesnt mean everyone else does. Also you are a supercalifragi-bitch. Good luck living a lonely, desolate life because you have no ability to feel anything.
People of 2nd job,
STOP CALLING ME FOR RELIEF WORK!! I have 2 months to go, no I am not going to work every shift that you want me to. Kthnx.
Post # 13
I love you very much but please please please stop asking questions that I’ve already answered like you expect a different answer and then getting angry when it hasn’t changed. I don’t want to fight with you and that is why I’ve been avoiding calling you. It’s very frustrating and counterproductive and you just need to stop trying to control everything. The wedding will happen in our time…just enjoy it when it does.
Post # 14
ohhh love this…
just because you and yr husband ran off to get married does not make it ok for me an my husband to be and everyone knows it was because you were afriad his family would stop it so please stop pretending every thing was all rosy and fairy dust.
i know you are not a girly girl and not into traditional things but you could at least be abit more enthusiastic i entend to be only married once an i really think you will be upset if you miss planning it with me. i also think you are stunning and we will find a dress equally so.
wise the f##k up and quit bitching at each other act like a grown ups.
Dear husband to be…
I LOVE YOU
sorry cheated cause i tell him that all the time!!!
Post # 15
Dear guests of our wedding,
We haven’t sent out invitations yet, but when we do, please RSVP by the deadline and please don’t try to add extra people.
Dear mom and sister,
I don’t need a veil in order to get married. I don’t like them, I’ve told you that a thousand times, but I welcome you both to wear veils to my wedding if you like them so much. Honestly, you can. I don’t mind. All I need is a minister, a marriage license, and my groom.
I don’t understand why I’m good at baking but SUCK INTENSELY at cooking. I follow recipes exactly and still can’t cook a meal. But I can bake desserts like it’s no big deal. wtf?? It makes no sense and I’m becoming very frustrated. Please learn to execute recipes in an edible manner. I beg of you.
Post # 16
Thanks for totally tossing me to the side at your wedding Saturday. I was SO happy to see your 12 yr old bridesmaid do all my matron of honor duties instead. Also I LOVED the fact that you had the bitch who told you your baby died because you were living in sin do your hair instead of your matron of honor/ licensed cosmetologist sister.
P.S. Thanks for being there for me when I found out that that after months of trying to concieve I probably never will.
– your baby sister