(Closed) An unopened letter to the World

posted 8 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 47
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Dear FI’s dog,

Please stop coming into the bedroom at night and farting.  Last night I thought I was going to die because it smelled so bad.  I laid in bed and scratched out a final will in my own blood thinking I wouldn’t live to wake up this morning.

Dear my dog,

Stop eating the turds left in the yard by you and FI’s dog.  It’s disgusting.  ‘Nuff said.

Love,

Tiffybear

Post # 48
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

View original reply
@MadameTussaud:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And DANG! all kinds of mess is coming out in these “dear soandso’s”!!!!!

Post # 49
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Dear Father,

I would like you to know that I have completely given up on you and I dont expect to be seeing you any time soon. I hope you have a good life and try no to screw it up with your new family.

Sincerly,

Deeply Disappointed

Dear Depression,

Why do you make me isloate myself? Why do you make me feel like there is no escape, like all the hope and happiness is gone? Please just let me go so I can smile again.

Your Prisoner,

Lilipad55

 

Dear Me,

Why the hell didnt you stay home today? You know you wanted to. I know you wanted to be responsible, but who the hell cares? Get off this site and put in for a half vacation day and go home and relax. DO IT NOW!

Sincerly,

What the hell are you still doing here!!!

(yup i have issues lol)

Post # 50
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Dear tech savvy Fiance,

All I wanna do is watch the freaking news in the morning so I know if I need to wear a sweater or a short sleeve blouse. NO I don’t want to push a gazillion buttons on 3 different remotes to make the tv turn on. No, I don’t want to turn on one of the 5 laptops sitting on the living table (that i’ve asked you to move numerous times) on wait for it to load and go to website to check. I just want to turn the tv ON!

Love, me.

Dear Boy,

I love you dearly, but if you get suspended from the bus ONE MORE time because you wanna be the class clown, I’m seriously getting tickets to the circus and leaving you there.

Love, that lady who used to take care of you.

 

Post # 51
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Dear Money,

You’re never around when I need you. Actually, scratch that – you’re just never around. I know I’ve asked you this before, but I think you really should spend more time with your friends. Wallet, Purse and Pocket really miss having you around, especially since they see you spending all your time with Bills and Student Loans.

Just throwing it out there. The four of us are totally free at the end of the month.

Love,

Missing You.

Post # 52
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My darling students,

Please remember that we do, in fact, still have FIVE full weeks of school left. We have a lot to accomplish in that time before you head off into the lazy days of summer. Please work hard like I know you can and stay focused.

Your teacher

Post # 53
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee

Dear 500 gajillionty dollar lotto,

Could you please just tell me your winning numbers? I’d ‘preciate it bunches.

Kthanksbye!

Love, broke and tired of it

Post # 54
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Dear staff of Greater Metropolitan Real Estate (and a few other realty places):

DH and I have contacted you at least ten times in the last week about an apartment ad we saw. If it’s a real unit, we really, really want it. And if it’s not, we don’t understand why you won’t at least call us back and tell us that/try to show us other things. Please do your job.

No thanks,

Dejected Would-be Tenant

Post # 55
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Dear fellow support teacher,

Sorry, but the fact that you worked as a lead teacher in the past does not automatically entitle you to a promotion. You WERE, in fact, hired to give people breaks and that job is not beneath your position. Sure, we’d all like to set our own hours, leave before 5:30 p.m., and still make more money, but if those are your main reasons for wanting to teach core classes, maybe you should reconsider taking on the additional responsibility. I appreciate my paycheck as much as anyone, but we’re here to help children grow and develop. Thus far you have proven yourself to be unprofessional, inconsistent, and self-absorbed. Perhaps if you spent less time cleaning, texting, and chatting and more time interacting with the children, maybe we would all take you more seriously as a teacher. 

Sincerely,

A support teacher that very likely may get that promotion before you

P.S. In my evaluation they asked me if there was anyone I felt that I could not work with. I said you. 

Post # 56
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Dear two-faced extended good for nothing family members… f**k you! Yell

Post # 57
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Dear Future Mother-In-Law,

Why are you so crazy? Yes you told me you would plan a bridal shower for your side of the family, and now you told my Maid/Matron of Honor you wont? No I don’t want my flowers for my wedding to be a surprise are you crazy? And no I didn’t move out of my parents house to yours because your a better mom I moved because it was more convient to get to work, your not better then my mom and you’ll never replace her stop trying to act like your a god. Yes I love you but that doesn’t mean I can’t wait to get out of your house.

Sincerly,

You FDIL who really can’t wait to not see you every day 🙂

Post # 58
Member
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@PinkPandaBear:  <– that’s a CLASSIC!!! Hahahaha! Good one! I have to steal that. Sorry! Embarassed

Post # 59
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Dear Fellow North Carolinians,

Please, PLEASE do the right thing and vote against amendment one today.  Don’t you see how hateful it is?  Why are you willing to penalize straight couples, just because you’re so small-minded as to think gay marriage is wrong?  If you can’t support gay marriage (though I don’t know why you wouldn’t…how does it affect you?), don’t pass this amendment because it’s harmful to ALL couples…gay or straight.  I generally am a conservative voter, as well as a heterosexual woman (but a supporter of gay marriage and rights), but I can’t fathom how you’d think this amendment is right.  Vote against.  Please.

Sincerely,

The girl who is sad that some people have so much hate that they want to segregate and penalize a set of people that just want to LOVE WHO THEY LOVE. 

Or–

The girl who doesn’t understand why gay marriage and rights is SO SCARY AND OFFENSIVE TO YOU

Post # 60
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Dear apartment maintenance people,

Are you effing kidding me?  With no forewarning, you just drilled a hole in my kitchen ceiling from the apartment upstairs.  This newfound hole scattered my entire kitchen, including my clean dish rack (which was full…of clean dishes) with ceiling bits (or floor bits from the apartment above me….whichever way you want to look at it).  Then, when I walked upstairs and asked if it was normal that a pipe in my kitchen is being raised up through the ceiling and swung haphazardly around my kitchen, knocking things off my counter, your blase response was, “Yeah.  We’re doing plumbing work.”  A little forewarning might have been nice.  

Sincerely,

The girl downstairs screaming f-bombs who will be cleaning her kitchen and rewashing dishes for the next hour

Post # 61
Member
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Dear Fat, You suck, your a royal pain in my ass…okay stomach…wish I could lose you and then some….you just refuse to leave me…I work out I eat better and still you linger on…what gives???

Sincerely,

Tired of Trying!

The topic ‘An unopened letter to the World’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors