- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
First of all, thank you guys for hearing me out last night and for all the words of support 🙂 I don’t know how I’d stay sane without y’all.
SO and I had a looong talk and Excel-budget-spreadsheet-making session earlier this evening. We came up with a budget that works, that allows us to move to a slightly more expensive apartment (but NOT the bank-breakers that SO was looking at last night), live comfortably as far as food and “fun” money, and still have plenty left over at the end of the month for savings (retirement, rainy day fund, and wedding). And that’s still on his salary alone.
My job situation is hard. Basically, I want to freelance, and I am confident that I can “make it” doing that (been getting fairly steady work since August last year, I just haven’t had time to take any more on lately with my internship + finishing up school), I just need time to get my feet on the ground, so to speak. The plan (which we BOTH are fine with) has always been for him to be the breadwinner for the time being while I build up a clientele. If, after a few months, those prospects look dim, I’ll start looking for a regular job, be it something in my field or not. He is fine with this, I am fine with this, and he is fine with being the breadwinner for a while. I have a little padding in savings to help with some things when needed or for emergencies or to go buy myself frivolous things (some of you mentioned in the last post that it wasn’t fair that I was making him buy me things…umm, I’m not. I would be utterly humiliated to ask him to pay for my clothes/makeup/random girl crap), so I am not going to be *completely* dependent on him.
The deal with our current house is this: We live on the first floor of a duplex in a haphazardly-renovated house. There are quite a few pests here, and yes the mouse (pretty sure it’s singular as it only makes an appearance every once in a while) does poop near our pantry, but we are working on collecting enough plastic containers to try and deter the food-hunting opportunities, and we are sticklers about crumbs and such. And we got the thousand-legger situation under control…we’ve been back here almost a month now and only seen 4 or 5 in that time, and killed them all. It’s not unliveable, but our landlord makes us nuts and this place is really tiny. SO said that the reason he wants to move is that he can’t imagine starting a marriage in this place. I wholeheartedly agree with him, but I said I didn’t think we needed to move IMMEDIATELY to THE MOST EXPENSIVE place we could find. He said he definitely was having an extreme reaction last night because sometimes we both have really huge “I hate this house” fits where everything seems awful and we can’t live here another second…he was looking at the super-deluxe townhomes because he felt that anything lower than that would just turn out like this place. He realizes of course that that isn’t true, and that emotions were running high last night and he was just in an I-hate-this-place “mood” last night.
We agreed we want to get married next summer, and that’s still the plan. He understands now that wedding vendors book up early and that we realistically need about a year to plan if we want a wider selection of vendors. I also made the point that if we wait to move, I might have a job/steady income by then and be able to contribute and we’d actually be able to afford one of those nice townhomes, because a newly-built townhome is really our ultimate “someday” goal, but if we moved immediately before we know what my income will be, we will have to pick something cheaper and then have to move yet again when we can afford the townhome. I suggested we wait and stay here a little while and save in bulk for the wedding while we can, and move in a few months when we see what my job situation will be. That way we can potentially skip the middle step of Crappy Apartment #2 before Dream Townhome, and go straight to Dream Townhome.
He wholeheartedly agreed, and so the original plan of buying a ring in the next couple of days (and being able to share the news in person with my long-distance family when they visit in June!) is back on, and the wedding budget is back and we’re on the same page for our wedding vision, and SO’s temporary brain lapse is over, and oh my gosh I am so relieved.