(Closed) An update on the waiting situation

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@VickyAurea: This is exactly how I think my SO feels! And I am trying to talk about it without freaking him out. I am going to try in the next few weeks (updates will happen!), because I have to make some big choices soon about moving, finding a job, etc, and I want him to be a part of them…but I can’t be the only one making such a big commitment. We’ve been together for 4 years, and he’ll be 25 soon… I just feel like it’s time…but I think he still thinks he’s a “kid” who doesn’t have what it takes to make those decisions.

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Aww you were so close to being engaged then through mutual decision! But it’s great he still wants to propose and not have that opportunity taken away ๐Ÿ™‚

My SO is 24 too, he thinks he is too young to get engaged but he knows of plenty of friends who are engaged/married/have children so the realisation that he actually isn’t that young has dawned on him too. Must be a guy things where they never want to call themselves a proper grown up or something ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I have been with my SO for 6 1/2 years, I’m 24 and he’s 23. We have talked about how we know we are getting married one day and plan for our future. However, I am the one that looks at it as I am too young and getting married is something “adults do”. So I understand where your SO’s are coming from. I think once he starts his real job and we move in together next year it will start to feel different, I hope so anyway.

Post # 6
Member
4151 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Some men just take longer than others to realise theyre a grown up.  My ex is 38 and thought he was too young to get hitched (not that it was on the cards for us).  My SO is 33 and is a big kid at times. So congratulations on your progress.  I don’t even think it’s all that minor, after all for a split second you were engaged.  It’ll happen soon ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
2949 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It is endearing that men want to be the ones to propose and, as my SO phrases “do things properly”. I’ve contemplated proposing to him myself but I almost feel like I’d be taking something away from him. He really wants to do the whole ask my parents for their blessing, make it very special, get down on one knee deal wheras I just want to start the next chapter of our lives together.

Post # 8
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My mom calls it “peter pan syndrome!”

Post # 10
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@VickyAurea: I don’t have a link right on me, but you can read all about my predicament, it’s on the waiting board under “need advice!” I am 23, he is 25. I am finishing grad school, and would be moving to join him (he’s still in graduate school), but there aren’t a lot of job opportunties where he is (it’s more rural– I love it there, btu I would definitely be putting my career on not quite the backburner). I just don’t think I can move without some more commitment. I’d have to uproot my life about 500 miles.

Post # 11
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@VickyAurea: Hopefully that does the trick! For me I started having a “real job” about 1 1/2 ago but my SO won’t be starting his until early next year because it takes foreverrr to get into a government job. (He started the process a year ago) So while we are waiting for that we both still live at home so even though I come and go as I please it’s easy to avoid feeling “adult”.

Maybe once you two move out and are living on your own and you have started your new job it will be a good time to bring it up again and see where you both are. That could very well be what it takes for him to be ready to take that step.

Post # 12
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@love108: I moved to another country without a ring, but with the understanding that within the next 3 years I wanted to be married (knowing this would lead to engagement in 12ish months), and if he didnt I needed to know then so I wouldnt move. I had just finished my undergrad and had nothing holding me home and he is established in his career and wanted me with him. 

Post # 14
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@love108:

I can 100% see where you are coming from, with the poor job market and him still being in grad school. I would want a commitment as well, I thought i wouldnt move without one..but then just took the plunge if it didnt work out I could always come home

Post # 15
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

I think my guy is pretty much similar onto the fact that he has no reason at all not to marry me and he knows he will someday…so it’s hitting him that he is indeed ready mentally. I know he has one more week left of school….he already  landed his dream job…he is pretty much there. Smile

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