(Closed) Anal Retentive 4yr old

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is he having soft, easy to pass stools? If not, read this information


This article has some further insight as to why it’s harder t get them to use the potty for a Bridesmaid or Best Man


I also have a personal theory that small children may be scared that they are actually flushing a part of themselves down the toilet when they see the Bridesmaid or Best Man being flushed as it is solid like them.


Post # 4
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@julies1949:  you know, i have never seen you post something that was not helpful. You’re such a nice person. 

Post # 6
1330 posts
Bumble bee

I would talk to his doctor about this just to rule out any medical reason or emotional reason, as was suggestion above. Sometimes this can also be behaviourial, or anxiety related. Behavioural issues are usually if the child is rebelling or understands you want him to eliminate in the toilet and will do it elsewhere/play with fecel matter on purpose. It can be emotionally gratifying for some young children. Anxiety comes from not beling able to properly relax enough in order to eliminate. It sounds like he is comfortable doing his business in his pants and not on the toilet, so he needs to be made comfortable enough to do his business.



Post # 7
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mvest:  I’m a little late to the game, so I’m not sure if this will help or not, but my stepson was like this. Apparently for boys, the feeling of peeing and pooping is REALLY different than for girls and it sort of freaks them out. With girls, everything is close together and the feeling is similar, and for boys, it’s way different (this is just what I read). We had a really hard time getting my stepson to poop in the potty. He would literally wait until bedtime and then poop in his pull up while he slept (and relaxed I guess). 

Two things really helped us:
1) We bribed him. He got an M&M if he went poop on the potty or even tried (and not fake trying!!). We kept the M&Ms within sight but just out of reach as a reminder. We tried stickers and they worked great for peeing, but with the pooping we needed to up the ante.
2) We told him he wouldn’t be allowed to go to big kid school like his cousins if he was still in pull ups because the teachers weren’t allowed to change diapers (which is 100% true). School was a BIG incentive for him. 

Good luck! Potty training is so frustrating, I know!!!

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