(Closed) and another proposal ! ! :(

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m sorry, hon. :/

The best thing to do is to just try as hard as you can not to compare your relationship to the ones going on around you. Just because they got engaged first doesn’t mean their SO loves them anymore than yours loves you.

Have you and your bf discussed getting engaged or marriage at all? Have you talked about a timeline?

Post # 4
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

1) you are ALWAYS welcome to whine and vent on the waiting boards.  If someone is sick of reading about your situation they can read another thread.  There will always be bees willing to be here for you when you need them. 

 

2)  Have you guys talked about a timeline?  I find that knowing the vicinity of the “when” has helped me stay calm, happy, and content. 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I think not having a timeline is a little dangerous.

You’ve been with him almost 6 years now and he has no idea when he might want to get married?

That throws up a red flag for me. Just based on that little information (so I may be wrong), it sounds like he might be a bit of a commitment-phobe.

Post # 8
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

@lucy_smith:  I hear you, but it sounds like your guy isn’t even willing to seriously *discuss* marriage.

Will you be okay if the marriage thing never happens? Because that may be where this is headed. Some men just don’t really want to get married. If you’re okay with that, then you guys could have a wonderful life together.

I have never heard of a man who won’t even discuss marriage with his SO after six years together who one day wakes up and decides to propose on his own.

If you’re not okay with that, you may want to consider that this may not be the man for you.

Are the two of you living together? If so, he may be comfortable with everything staying the way that it is. I’ve heard that some Bees were able to get a proposal after moving out of the place they shared.

 

Post # 10
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

@lucy_smith:  he talks about it an says he wants to  marry me one day, but then wont give me any idea of when.

Honestly that right there sounds a lot to me like he’s telling you what you want to hear so he can keep you around (because he does care about you), but doesn’t actually want to commit to getting married. :/

Waiting around sucks in general, and it’s probably even more unbearable when your SO won’t even talk to you about when it’s going to happen. I’m really sorry you’re having such a rough time, and I hope you guys figure it out.

Post # 12
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@lucy_smith:  I understand what you’re going through. I come from a very, very traditional Chinese family and waiting 3.5 years (let alone 6 like you!) is not really the way it goes. I can totally relate.

 

It seems like he is comfortable with how things are going for him. He has you and you’re not going anywhere. Have you really sat him down and told him how you are feeling? If he hasn’t ever seriously thought about marrying you in six years, my alarm bells will go off.

Best of luck hon, let us know!

Post # 15
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

Just keep looking forward πŸ™‚ hopefully things will look up for you getting a proposal soon

The topic ‘and another proposal ! ! :(’ is closed to new replies.

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