(Closed) and another proposal ! ! :(

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
5107 posts
Bee Keeper

Aw. I’m sorry =(

It’s the same thing with us.. We are TTC and every time someone announces their pregnancy a little piece of my heart cries =( HUGS lady.

Post # 18
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Tis the season…for engagements. This was definitely the worst time of the year when I was waiting. I can’t say much because my proposal was in January but to this day I will never understand why every guy thinks that between November-January is the best time to do it when EVERY OTHER GUY is doing the same thing!!! I’m so sorry, I know it’s tough, but just remember that your day is still to come and you still have something exciting to look forward to. 🙂

Post # 19
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@lucy_smith:  *hugs* I can totally relate. I had a day with 3 engagements too and I was in tears I was so overwhelmed! I know it’s hard.

Maybe he is just trying to make it a surprise? How old are you two? Men dont grow up at the same rate as us and they dont react to things the same way we do. 

Post # 21
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

If it makes you feel any better i started dating my then boyfriend 7/12/03  i just got engaged 6/29/12.  Nearly nine years i waited for him to “be ready”.  His view on waiting was he wanted to be able to give me the ring that i truely wanted, he would be finanically stable to take care of me and pay for a wedding. 

I came to the same breaking point as you did the month we got engaged.  Everyone of our friends or people we knew were getting engaged (i’m 27).  Finally we were driving and he mentioned someone got engaged and i burst into tears in the car. Told him i was sick of waiting, and if 9 years isnt enough to decide then maybe we need to go our separate directions, i made it very clear that marriage was something i DESIRED in my life and i wanted that commitment to someone.  That weekend we looked at rings, he said he was planning on doing it in october-december some time when he had money saved.  i found the ring of my dreams at a local store and he basically said no way.  Little did i know the next day he took a half day at work,  went to the store bought my dream ring. 2 days later he proposed because he was nervous i would go on a cleaning binge and throw away the box he hid it in.

You both are very young. (not sure where your from but in NJ typical age is 25-28) Although its been 6 years, my Fiance wouldn’t even talk to me about marriage when i was 21 and we were together 4 years by then.  You still have hope i think the fact that he asks about your gown it is something he wants too.  It might be more a financial thing, my Fiance wanted to wait till he had plenty saved to buy my ring, he might also be thinking about the implications of marriage..  a wedding which = $$, a home which means $$, a family which means $$ he might not be finanically stable enough to do it at that time.  Men carry a lot of responsibility when they get married mentally, they know your well being is now on their shoulder and he wants to live up to the expectations of the lifestyle you wish to have.

Post # 22
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@lucy_smith:  You two are young, but who am I to say? I’m like 2 years older, haha. I will admit that I refused to date guys my age for that reason. Guys in their early twenties are USUALLY not marriage oriented. It’s amazing how far behind guys can be even when they’re around the same age.

Hang in there! Try to talk to him to make sure you both are on the same chapter, without nagging him. He will come around if he’s the one for you.

Post # 23
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

You’re VERY young. I can see why he says he’s not ready! It’s really not the same to say you’ve been dating for 6 years when most of that time was as a kid in your teens. 

I think you SHOULD move out, if only to experience an independent life on your own.

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