(Closed) and guest for rehearsal dinner?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Need more details – How many people are you having at your RD? Are you restricting it to the wedding party and immediate family or are you inviting others?

Post # 5
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would say it’s fine. The rehearsal dinner and the wedding are separate events, so guests shouldn’t expect to be able to bring a plus one, even if they are allowed to bring them to the wedding.

That said, some people might assume, so definitely have a "# attending" line in your RSVPs, so you can call up those who interpret wrong. 

Post # 6
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m having this same issue.  The list could potentially be 40, but the restaurant we are having it at only seats 30 comfortably.  Does this mean we don’t invite the greeters, readers, etc?!?

Post # 8
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Since your rehearsal dinner is already so large, and you’re inviting out of town guests to join you, I think it would seem weird to tell your wedding party members they couldn’t bring someone, especially if they’re allowed plus ones at the actual wedding. If it was a small, intimate dinner, I would lean more toward not inviting them to save the money, but because it’s already so large, I would first consider chopping the Out of Town guests before wedding party dates (wedding party is kind of the royalty of the wedding, so to speak – they should get some special treatment for being there and putting in all the effort). You can always explain to Out of Town guests that you wanted the rehearsal dinner to be wedding party only to keep it small and intimate.

Post # 9
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

sminerva’s recommendation sounds pretty good.  The intent of the rehearsal dinner is in the name- it is to rehearse the wedding!  However, it does often become a dinner for Out of Town people as well, which makes a lot of sense.  They are spending a whole weekend for the wedding and it would be nice to see friends/ relatives/ meet people the night before too.

What I would begin to look into for this type of situation is how to accomodate the people but do it in a simpler way.  I’ve gone to a couple of rehearsal dinners that were basically BBQs.  That may not be your style, but it makes it so it isn’t such a big deal how my people are there.

If that isn’t a possibility, perhaps go with keeping the numbers down to the wedding party and make alternate suggestions for Out of Town people to get together for dinner. 

Post # 10
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think for wedding party you have to invite them with their guest to the Rehearsal Dinner.  Not sure if that’s who you are talking about as far as friends.  I guess in general though, if you are inviting someone the the Rehearsal Dinner who you invited to the wedding with a date and don’t invite their date, it would be more inconvenient to them than not inviting them at all.  They probably only have one car, what is the other person going to do, etc.

Post # 11
Member
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m having this same problem.  We’re looking at 39 right now and I’d love to cut his aunts and uncles.  Is this totally taboo?  It’s just too many people in the wedding party (and their wives) that is putting me over the edge.

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would not cut the Out of Town guests. They’ve come a long way to spend time with you and your family so you should provide as many opportunities for that as possible.  I think it’s ok not to give single bridal party members plus 1s for the Rehearsal Dinner.  Although the ones in relationships should definitely be able to bring their SO.  The rehearsal dinner is not that long so why do they single people need a date there.  they’ll just be eating.

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