(Closed) "…and Guest."…Hmm.

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1419 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Yeah, that’s how I would take it. You have been given an invitation and a plus one. So bring a date or friend and have fun!

Post # 3
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Yep, Guest is a plus one.  Meaning you can bring anyone you would like to the wedding a friend or a date.

Post # 4
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, who ever you want. If they were inviting someone specific to accompany you theyd be listed on the invite.

Post # 5
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

Knowing how much weddings cost, I wouldn’t need to bring a random guest, to a family wedding, unless they knew my family well. I remember taking a lifelong, male friend, to a family Xmas party, when we were both in college; he got a lot of ribbing and questions, from other family members. Had he been more than a friend, I would have been embarassed and he might have run in the other direction.

Post # 6
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes–with a couple caveats. If the guest you are planning on bringing is under 18, I would call the couple in question and ask if you can bring a child. I also think that you should exercise common sense and not show up with say, the bride’s ex-boyfriend or groom’s mortal enemy.

But otherwise it’s carte blanche on adults.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  BothCoasts.
Post # 7
Member
12805 posts
Honey Beekeeper

A lot of people intend it to mean someone you are dating, not your co-worker, your mother-in-law or your child. I’d ask, but  personally would attend on my own if there was no one in my life at that moment. 

As for the etiquette, it’s split. Traditional etiquette says “and guest” is never correct. The host is supposed to contact you and ask for the name of someone you would like to bring, usually implying a date. They then address a separate invitation to that person if you are not living together. This way, actual people are invited, not randoms.

Emily Post et. al. says “and guest” means you may bring the guest of your choice. 

Post # 8
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Double post

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by  CakeSniffer. Reason: Double post
Post # 9
Member
1565 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

That’s how we addressed our invitations when guests were given a plus one. We had one guest who was confused by what it meant and just RSVPd for himself, which I didn’t get. I mean, if you’re truly confused why not ask the bride or groom? But in your case it’s clear they want you to have a plus one.

 

Post # 10
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
TinderBoxx:  

You CAN but that doesn’t mean you SHOULD. 

I would only take a fairly serious partner or a close friend…  They are being polite by offering you a +1 but not taking one would likely save them a fair bit of money. So use your best judgement. 🙂 

Post # 11
Member
45 posts
Newbee

I think most people mean it as you, and the person you’re dating/significant other. However, if they haven’t previously enquired into if you are dating someone, then realistically you are free to take along anyone you choose. Sometimes it is better to go alone if you do not have a partner, but if that makes you uncomfortable I think you are within reason of take a friend etc. 

Post # 12
Member
47286 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

That’s the problem with using “and guest”. It literally gives carte blance to the invited guest to bring anyone they choose.

Post # 13
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Yep bring who you want. I am inviting a lot of “And Guests” to my wedding. I really don’t care if they bring a date or a friend.  I have a several widows on my list who are older and not seeing a man, but they may want to bring a friend or have someone drive them etc. I could see how it might be hard to go to a wedding alone if you don’t know a lot of the people there besides the b/g. 

Post # 14
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
weddingmaven:  Yeah I get that, but I don’t think its appropriate to call up my widowed ex neighbor and ask who she’s dating these days. Lol she might bring her son or something just if she doesn’t want to go alone or drive herself. And for those of you who think it may be weird to invite a past neighbor I have known her since the day I was born. lol Of the people who I know their s/o I will address it to them both and not “and guest.” I suppose the way I am using the “guest” is litterally bring anyone you want that would make my wedding more enjoyable or make you feel more comfortable. 

Post # 15
Member
1908 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
TinderBoxx:  Any other adult. Unless you know that person doesn’t get along with the bride/groom. OR if you have already RSVP for just yourself… I would call to make any changes.

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