Post # 1
I have a girlfriend who is upset with me because I’m living with my fiance. She basically told me that she will not come to my wedding because in her opinion “I’m living in sin.” She wants to know why were living together, and in a nutshell told me to go to the JOP and get married, and she doesn’t think the pastor I want to officiate the wedding will marry me because of my living sitution!
I told her that she is being very judgemental, and what she said about not coming to my wedding was very hurtful! That’s when she went into asking all those personal questions as to why Fiance and I are living together, and gave more of her unwanted opinion!
Her fiance is not making the situation better. A few months back my Fiance and him met for coffee. My Fiance was looking for relationship advice. Apparently her Fiance went to my girlfriend discussing what my Fiance talked to him about over coffee! Now both my girlfriend and her Fiance are telling me they are so “concerned” and think my Fiance are not ready to get married! First of all, her Fiance never should of went to my girlfriend about what was dicussed in confidentiality with my Fiance.
I’m at a loss on what to do. Frankly it’s none of their business what my living situation is, and their concerns regarding FI are now surfacing because I recently got engaged. Before my engagement I heard nothing but good things from my girlfriend about my fiance! Now all of a sudden because I’m living with him he’s not a good guy anymore? Where do I go from here?
Post # 3
she had no right to say those things. just decide what is best for you 🙂 maybe she is jealous, you get to spend every night with your Fiance, while she does not. nowadays i think almost all churches will marry couples who live together. so no worries on that score 🙂 if she mentions it again, say that you like being able to spend every night with your Fiance, and if she has such a problem with how your relationship is, she doesnt have to attend the wedding
Post # 4
Well, at least your Fiance knows who he can’t talk to. I don’t think there’s much point in being friends with these people anymore. Everyone needs someone to talk to when there are relationship speed bumps. I’m personally very private, so I only discuss this with my mom….but MY pastor/priest told me if you find a married person who you trust it’s okay to talk to them too. So your Fiance had the right idea in confiding in him, it’s juts that he obviously didn’t take that conversation in confidence and was too judgmental and decided his Fiance needed to now it all. Sounds like she’s holding out on him? I mean, is this person really a virgin? If she is that’s great, that’s their choice and it’s the right choice for them obviously, but that’s not for everyone.
It’s rediculous for her to think you can’t have a religious ceremony. Me and my Fiance live together and yes, we did get teh whole lecture when we met with our priest about cohabitating and whatnot, but after he worked with us doing premarital stuff, he realized how committed we are, how serious we are about marriage.
Okay, yeah, I’m living in sin, you are living in sin, and I personally carry some guilt about it being a cradle catholic…but we are engaged, we WANT to live with our husbands and have a family in wedlock…she has some nerve to judge.
Some religious people have a very holier than thou additude that drives me up the wall.