Post # 1
I had my first awkward run in with etiquette. We were visiting home for a church function and ran into a lady who didn’t know we were engaged. When she found out, she first wanted to see my ring. She was amazed and asked my fiance if he robbed a bank. She then proceeded to show me her ring and compared it to mine (which, yes, her’s was considerably smaller). After asking if we’d set a date, she told me that she’d be expecting an invitation to the wedding. Well, I wouldn’t have thought to invite her. We’re having a rather small wedding (75 max and that is a stretch).
Have you had any run-ins like this? How do you handle it?
Post # 3
Yes, my gross aunt we’ve nicknamed Bitchface said this, as did an equally gross, obnoxious co-worker I couldn’t stand. Unfortunately, I did end up having to invite the aunt, but the co-worker got fired so I averted a crisis there.
I would just use the “unfortunately, we are having a small wedding and we are only able to invite this many people. I appreciate that you are thinking of us and want to celebrate with us” excuse.
Post # 4
I’ve had a few run-ins like this. At first I just giggled a little and didn’t say much, but now I’ve had to start saying that we’re having a small wedding with family and close friends…Which is mostly true.
People can’t expect to be invited to weddings if you’re not close with them, or haven’t seen them in years.
Post # 5
I agree, etiquette has definitely taken a turn for the worse it seems. We actually had someone call and say they haven’t received their invitation yet (we have not even sent them yet!) and someone else call and ask for a plus one (we are only inviting SO’s we know or that are serious relationships). I wouldn’t worry too much about the woman, don’t send her an invite and if by chance you see her again let her know that you had a family wedding. People can’t get mad if you say your only invited family. Maybe you could take her out to lunch to catch up instead.
Post # 6
i just laugh my “heh. heh. heh.” in a “dont hold your breath” sort of way. it annoys me when people say stuff like that even when they are joking….
Post # 7
My uncle called my Dad yesterday and was irate that my cousin had not been invited. I haven’t seen this guy oh….since I was a child? I would not recognize him on the street. Why does he even CARE if he’s not invited?
Post # 8
I just laugh it off. If people sent an invite to every person that said that – boy! WHat’s the point of a wedding budget and planning for X number of people?
Post # 9
Yep, it happened to me, too. But it was actually a friend of mine from high school. If we were having a big wedding, she would def. be invited. But we are only having 12 people! We are having a big cookout a couple weeks after, and she will be invited for sure! So, I was up front with her. I told her “I wish I could have you, but we are only doing a very small wedding, because Mr. Meno is very nervous to do anything in front of a group of people.”
She was totally understanding!
Post # 10
I had this the night of our Engagement…. Yeah really. lol I just say laugh it off. If you were planning to then do but if you weren’t then I say ignore it.
Post # 11
Omg I feel you! We’re having a small wedding too (shooting for 25, absolute max is 30). People have been saying this to me quite a bit, and at first I felt so uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do, but now I have a thing. I just say “wonderful!” I try to smile, too, but it usually ends up a half-smile and a downward glance haha. It’s ok not to give a straight answer in those situations
I feel like it’s key not to discuss the wedding in front of people who aren’t invited. I never do, but people notice my ring and ask, etc etc. Oh well!
Post # 12
I just told people that we were having a smallish wedding and so it was mostly family coming. One girl got huffy with me after our wedding because she saw some pictures from it and was like ‘I thought you said it was small’ but we invited all our family, which is like 70 people, then you get into the close family friends that have always been there is like another 20. So we were left with 30 invites for friends, but that includes having to invite dates for most people.
Post # 13
My second cousin’s husband facebook messaged me and said “congratulations! we expect an invite” and thats it. I was livid…everyone else said I was overreacting and that its ok to say that…HATE IT. I feel your pain.
Post # 15
Ugh, some people! You by no means have to justify your guest list to anyone. I would just smile and change the subject. I almost feel like it’s a waste of breath to do the whole “Oh, well, we’re actually having a small wedding with family only…” thing sometimes, as it makes an awkward situation even more awkward. It’s one thing to explain to your friends, but random aquaintences that you run into?
Post # 16
I just laugh politely.
They don’t get an invite, because it’s my wedding and it’s small and the guest list has been set for quite some time. I don’t usually say anything at the time–they’ll figure it out on their own, and it’s not my problem that they made a bad assumption, particularly if it’s not someone I’m close to.