Post # 1
25 days…. only 25 days to go and I feel like I’m going a little crazy. Up until this point I was cool, calm, and collected. I have budgeted, and made list after list, completed nearly all my 30 DIY projects, handled guest list issues, and wedding showers. Through all that I was fine. But now everything has hit me.
We’re having a destination wedding in Vermont. We only live 3 hours away in Boston but it’s still difficult to get up there. That is getting stressful now when I am trying to figure out how I get all our stuff there. But that’s not what is stressing me the most- it’s the bridesmaids dresses. Can someone please tell me if I am being out of line?
So all my bridesmaids live in different places. My sisters are in Chicago and Philly, and the rest of my 6 maids are in Burlington VT, Boston, and DC. So finding a dress that worked for everyone was going to be nearly impossible. Seeing that they would be spending so much money to even get to the wedding I was trying to find some cheaper options. In January my sisters found a JCrew color that was being discontinues (jalepeno) and all the dresses in that color were less than $100. This was perfect. After a few emails the girls seemed to really like one dress, the arabelle, and they all decided to buy it. Great right. Well 8 months later I find out that the dress that three of the girls ordered does NOT fit. Seriously, they waited 8 months to say anything to me. And when it was presented they said “You need to figure out something to do with the dresses”. There are a few problems with this. One- the Jcrew dress is final sale and because the color was discontinued there is literally no way to get another dress. Two- it is not my fault they ordered the wrong size. Admittedly, I shouldn’t have had them pull the trigger on a dress we weren’t positive would work. But my mind was focused on saving them money an making it easy. One of the girls has said to me that she really doesn’t want to spend any more money on a dress and maybe I could talk to Jcrew about returning them 🙁
But worst of all…. 25 days before the wedding they still don’t have a dress alternative. I looked everywhere and found a good option- little borrowed dress. There is a dress in a similar color and style that would def work. I told the girls they should order this dress because they could rent it for only $50. But they couldn’t decide on the style and weren’t sure that it was going to actually fit this time.
I feel like I have been so easy going and that has backfired on me. I don’t even know what to do at this point. I sent a final email today that was…. bridezilla-ey. Basically I said that I was stressed about the dresses and I wanted them to have a dress by the end of the week. I don’t want to go off as demanding but at this point I just feel like I have no choice 🙁
On top of all this- I was counting on my last bonus pay out scheduled for Oct 15th to make the last payments for the wedding. I found out today that is being pushed back to Nov 15th- 12 days after the wedding. My sister hasn’t booked her flight yet either so who even knows when she is coming!
Sorry just needed to vent. Has this happened to anyone else- shit just falling apart 3 weeks before the wedding?
(p.s. Though I am venting about this I try to ground myself with knowing I have the best fiance ever! And that’s really all that matters- I’ll be marrying him!!!)
Post # 3
@Soon2bSykes: What your BMs did was unexcusible. They waited for THAT LONG to tell the bride the dress does not fit? That is NOT your fault. At this point, they either find a dress or you may have to rearrange the bridal party.
Hopefully your sister will get her plane ticket.
I ran into some bumps towards the end. Some in the bridal party didnt get their tuxs until the very.last.day. If they waited 24 more hours, there would have been 2 men outof the party. They were having money issues but still it caused stress.
My JBM didn’t get her dress until a week before the wedding. It came in that Wednesday; we married that Saturday. Lucily we ordered a size that fit!!!!
Hopefully everything will work out!!
Post # 4
@Soon2bSykes: I turned a little bit bridezilla a couple weeks before the wedding – had a minor dress disaster, bridesmaid issues, tux problems, program fiascos, etc… but in the end, even with minor hiccups, everything worked out. Just take a deep breath (hard to do, I know) and trust that your day is going to be amazing!!
Post # 5
@LuvMySailor: Thank you! It’s good to know I’m not the only one that thought this was an issue.
@Nicoley1985: Thanks so much- that’s what I keep trying to do. It doesn’t help that it’s my time of the month too. But in the end all that matters is the reason all this is happening- to marry my best friend!
Thanks for letting me vent bees!
Post # 6
Why can’t they get a tailor to resize the dresses? If the dresses are too small the tailor can always add a triangle panel in a neutral color to the backs of the dresses. You won’t see in photos.
Post # 7
This is not your fault and they definitely should have said something the moment they knew the dress didn’t fit. Give them an ultimatum:
Please rent *this specific* dress from LBD (order 2 sizes if you need to!) or get your J.Crew dress tailored. Please let me know which option you choose by *this date.* See you soon.
Post # 8
Who wants to bet that eight months ago at least one of those bridesmaids ordered her dress too small on purpose because she was totally going to fit into it by the time she wore it?
That’s the only reason I can come up with that they didn’t deal with it ASAP when the dress showed up and didn’t fit and waited until now to say something.
Post # 9
@Elvis: LOL you are totally right.
Post # 10
I would tell them to have the dresses tailored, crash some weight off, or crash some weight off and then get the damn dress tailored. Jeez, wtf is wrong with them? Who waits 8 months to mention it?
Post # 11
Yes! That’s crazy….I’m already going crazy over my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses as well. One of my Bridesmaid or Best Man don’t have her dress yet and the deadline was 1 October! The Bridal Shop said it’s going to take 12 weeks!!! I’m not reminding her again, if she don’t have it….then she is not in the wedding. I think the worst part about planning is the wedding party! Getting them all on the right track is ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!
Post # 12
Thanks bees- I took your advice and sent out an ultimatum email today. I actually talked to someone at LBD and cc’d her on the email as well. I probably shouldn’t have even done that much work but I wanted to make it so there was literally no excuse.
Post # 13
They ordered the dresses, they should have ordered the correct size, shouldn’t bee too hard to know the size you wear. On top of that they waited until way too much time had passed to even mention anythign, well honestly, the dresses are their responsibility, they needed to order correct sizes and since they didn’t and the dresses are too small, they need to figure out for themselves with a seamstress, if anything can be done. And if a seamstress can’t fix it, they need to search high and low starting on ebay for that dress in the correct size and suck it up.
It’s their mistake, not yours, they shouldn’t be making it your problem.
Post # 14
Yes!! I did. My Maid/Matron of Honor (sister) and Bridesmaid or Best Man had free reign over choosing their dresses, because the coral ones I bought at Gap didn’t fit them (they were super clearanced, but I was able to return). Then I found one at TJMaxx (beach wedding)…we couldn’t find another one in the states they live in. Returned. My Bridesmaid or Best Man found a suitable dress in KY at Gordman’s. Mailed one to my sister. Sister says it’s too hoochie for her. (However she is planning on shortening it..so..wth) Finally I just told them both to find a pale color dress that would go with my vintage, beachy, turquoise/gold/cream wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor found a gauzy long dress at Old Navy, and my sister wore a short white 1950’s style dress. At that point I didn’t even care. The flower girls wore big messy white tutus that I made with white tanks, and my dress was gold/cream with a blue cardigan so it all worked out. But seriously, at the end I was going to lose it! They bought their dresses the last week before the wedding.
Post # 15
@Soon2bSykes: Date twin! Sorry you are going through this but I feel your pain. My sister/MOH ordered her dress too small and it would not zip up a week ago. We could not order another dress in time and I as not going to let her buy some random dress that didnt match the other girls. I suggested she get a corset put in and luckily that solved the issue. I agree that its their mistake not yours so they need to figure out how to fix it and not stress you out.
I decided that I may have to stop fighting the bridezilla in me and let it out! Hahahah