(Closed) And so it begins…PLEASE Help me with this family/guestlist issue (long-sorry)

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: What would you do?
    Allow the 3 kids to attend & deal with hurt feelings from everyone else? : (3 votes)
    4 %
    Stand your ground and be prepared for people not to come : (67 votes)
    94 %
    Cancel and go to city hall/Vegas : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Other, please specify : (0 votes)
  • Post # 4
    1115 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Wow. What a b*tch. She’s being the selfish one here by not respecting your wishes for YOUR own wedding.

    Let her "campaign" against you. If people are that easily swayed not to attend your wedding, then you don’t need them there (or in your life) anyway.

    Post # 5
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper


    Post # 7
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Wow…That is so unbelievably rude! Even if you do give in on the three kids, that will just open up the floodgates for the other 50. If they hear that the three are coming, they might not come since their kids weren’t invited anway, so I would just chance it at not let any of them come.


    Post # 8
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    whoa…how witchy!  i say, stand your ground.  I dislike soooo very much when people are all “families include children, how can you not invite the children”.  b/c is my money and my party!  call your aunts bluff i say.  if all these people are willing not to come because 3 kids arent invited, who needs em!

    i had a family memeber do this.  she told me if she couldnt bring her kids then she couldnt come.  i said “so sorry you wont be able to make it’. and left it at that.  she came, wiithout her kid.

    i get that this is your aunt, but you are an adult.  she is wayyyy out of line.  dont feel guilty about putting her in her place. go you!

    Post # 10
    3126 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Don’t give in!! You absolutely must not give into bullies, ESPECIALLY family members, ESPECIALLY over your wedding. I, and every other bride, can see your point. If you allow these 3 children, you have to allow the other 50. If you did allow only the 3, you would have a lot more pissed off people at your wedding than you will if you stick to your guns.

    Post # 11
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    You know, I invited tons of kids to my wedding, and loved having them there, but we had a less formal garden wedding.  If you guys have decided you don’t want kids there, and feel that they’re inappropriate to the feel of your wedding, that’s within your rights. 

    I understand your cousin asking nicely if you’ll think about inviting her older daughter, but that should have been the end of it (even when the answer was “No, we love her, but can’t include her this time”).  However, your aunt’s actions are completely out of line.  I would simply not say another word about it to any of your family members, and don’t be bullied into inviting them.  These things tend to die down if you ignore them. 

    Post # 12
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I deleted my post since I didn’t think what I said would be welcome. Thanks for answering my questions, and putting a whole different spin on it and how obtrusive they are.

    I’m in NJ, so I know all about wedding expenses, having just finished 2 of them in one year. We did include kids but only a handful came since there was travel involved and overnight stays. I didn’t care why they didn’t come but invitations were extended. Even a 17 year old said he’d rather stay home with the dog than come! lol

    I guess what I would do in your case is stand my ground and hope for the best. Hopefully your entire family isn’t in agreement with your Aunt and everyone comes. Weddings are stressful enough without having to hear all that from someone, no matter who she is. Good luck!

    Post # 13
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @tootietoo2: Don’t give in, hold your ground! And – pass the problem along to your mom and dad (whatever side of the family it is). You need some support right now, and you shouldn’t have to fight these battles alone.


    Good luck!!

    Post # 14
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I say hold your ground!  After much debate FH & I decided to open the wedding to kids – and like your wedding –  they are going to make up a huge portion of the attendees.  It’s definitely going to negatively impact our budget, etc…  So if we decided to stand firm on “no kids except for those in the wedding party” – like you, we couldn’t make exceptions as it would just cause more problems.  Good luck! 

    The topic ‘And so it begins…PLEASE Help me with this family/guestlist issue (long-sorry)’ is closed to new replies.

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