(Closed) And so, the ex’s emerge…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh man! That’s so weird (and creepy)! I didn’t have an ex emerge before the wedding, but a few years ago (DH and I had been dating for 5 years) I got a drunk dial phone call from an ex at 2am on a Wednesday. It creeped me out that he still had my number in his phone and that I was the person he chose to call 5 years later…

Post # 4
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Not before the wedding but I can see why he did that. Sometimes guys PANIC when they realize ‘oh wait a minute, the girl I broke up with actually IS an awesome catch and someone else is gonna get her!’

This is a pang of jealousy and nothing more. He would never truly BELIEVE that you two would work out better than your current beau. It’s just a direct hit to his manhood that how could the girl HE didn’t approve of for whatever reason can possibly be liked by another of his own species. Turns out he must’ve been dumb!

That sort of thing. His realization is good for u. Smile

Post # 5
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

oh no! definitly dont repsond. its flattering though right?

I didnt have this problem right before getting married but i met my husband while i was dating my ex boyfriend (no shady business i promise!) he, my husband, worked with my sister and i was very much into my boyfriend at the time but apparently he wasn’t..he broke up with me after 3 years and it took it pretty hard – since i was newly single and my husband was new to town i started hanging out with him more and more (i mean the guy was a looker – but i was not ready to be in a relationship again)

My ex and I broke up in september, labor day weekend actually and by october i was hanging out wtih my husband more and more – there was def some contact in that time with my ex boyfriend, after 3 years you dont just stop talking. by december i finally gave into my feelings and made it official with my husband but would still get emails and stuff from the ex every so often (he knew i was dating someone now) we had ended on a friendly note i guess you could say so hearing from him wasnt abnormal – he was a good guy, we just werent good together – once my husband actually proposed i started hearing from him a lot more. I think he finally realized what he had! haha or at least i like to think that – i think just like Sasha said they finally see what they could have had. My Ex and I definitly talked marriage and i think when he broke up with me he wasnt completely sold on being broken up for good – but fate got in the way of that ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 6
Member
2825 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My ex didn’t really turn up out of no-where, because he never really stopped talking to me…  Even though I told him to never talk to me again…

He will text me randomly, saying merry christmas, happy birthday… sometimes he’ll just say “hey, what’s up?”… it’s the most random thing.. I never respond but he keeps doing it… It’s so annoying!

Post # 7
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

I had this happen not before my wedding but when Fiance and I first started dating. It was really strange.. he searched for me on FB, the number I had when we were first together was long gone by then. He didn’t say anything like we should be together.. but he was talking about how I get prettier and prettier as I get older… CREEPY..HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN FB STALKING ME??? It was pretty crazy.. I responded really harsh and told him to never contact me again.. he also had his cousin message me friend request me.. I wasn’t rude to his cousin but I did tell him that they were part of my past and that I would like to keep them that way. What was even more strange was the fact that FI’s ex had messaged him on FB within the same timeframe as well! 

Post # 8
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wonder if there’s something in the water – I just got a friend request on fb from an ex this morning.  Umm…

Post # 9
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh yeah. Every so often one of them pops up. Usually when they’ve just gotten dumped by yet another girlfriend, are having a rough patch in their marriage, or have been single for a while and gotten lonely. Then they have this vision of What Could Have Been. It’s a kind of Stepford fantasyland that mostly involves you naked (except with Claudia Schiffer’s body), bringing them beers, giving them blowjobs while they play Fantasy Football on the Playstation, and never arguing with anything they say or having any ambitions or desires of your own. In short, it bears no resemblance to your actual past relationship and the “you” in their head only bears resemblance to an actual human woman in the way that a Real Doll does.

Which isn’t to say that they’re bad people. There are plenty of delusional ex-girlfriends, too. And it’s easy to forget all the tedium and the crap that didn’t work years down the line and just remember the high points. (Like Playstation blow jobs! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 10
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I have an ex who I really did love, but he was just kind of a mess. He took off for 3 weeks and didn’t call, we broke up kind of abruptly. Then after I got married we talked and he said he had regrets that the relationship never really went where it could have, bla bla bla. I stopped talking to him after that because it was clear there were still unresolved issues there and I didn’t even want to entertain the conversation.

He’s recently married and is blowing up my phone wanting to “talk” yet is supposedly super happy about his marital status. So if he’s so over the moon happy in his marriage, why does he keep calling? Don’t know. It’s just really odd. I’ve had this number for 9 years, not changing it now.

Post # 11
Member
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

just a couple weeks ago I had an ex of mine call after 8 years. 8YEARS!!!!!! ummm in that time i have been engaged, had my son, dated af ew other people and he now has six kids and is married. His kids are from 3 different girls. he is a total winner lol. I dated him when i was 1819 yrs old. I was young and oh so in love with him. he treated me like dog crap. I mean you name it, he did it. And i was just so “in love” that I took it. im embarrassed to admit that the only reason we broke up was because he lied and told me his ex was pregnant and he ahd married her in secret over that past weekend. what could i really say to that? lol so we just broke up. i ran into him a few times after turning 21 while i was out on the bar scene in our area but we never really talked or anything. now he is married and settled and called me to tell me that he is sorry for how bad he was to me and that he thinks of me all of the time and wonders if we would have made it had he been a good guy to me instead of treating me like dirt. ya in my mind i feel like i dodged a bullet there buddy! so i told him so, i said well i want to thank you for being a douche and breaking up with me the way you did. i thank my lucky stars that that mess ended lol.  oh and as a side note, he is on my fb and the very day he called me out of nowhere he posted a status on fb that said “i just want everyone to know i have the best wife in the world, I love you so much sabrina!”  ……lmao! hilarious.

Post # 12
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m worried my ex will. He’s kinda crazy. He was still talking about me to mutual friends 2-3 years after we broke up, and I had to block his phone number. He once left me a 2-page front and back, handwritten letter on my car…. I’m glad he no longer knows where I live.

Post # 13
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Oh my God!! Yes, this happened to me too!  Every ex or close male friend starting emailing me with love letters or hints at a relationship.  I think it feels safe when the possibility of your acting on it are so low. 

Elvis~ LMFAO!!!  You are SO right!  Except that it’s Xbox, but whatever… ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

And this!!  Sasha2011 “Sometimes guys PANIC when they realize ‘oh wait a minute, the girl I broke up with actually IS an awesome catch and someone else is gonna get her!'” 

There were two in particular that upset me, rather just being like, wtf, and deleting.  ONe from a beloved friend who confessed his feelings after ALL THESE YEARS!!  I could of killed him, b/c I’d been crazy about him since the 10th grade… not that I’d change my plans or anything, but it was frustrating in some way.  And another, which makes me angry b/c this person was actually invited to our wedding and I had to see them out of the corner of my eye while saying my vows and then he congratulated my husband.  I wanted to punch him. 

Post # 14
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

This jus thappened to me a few months ago… Not as close to the wedding as you Geeze!! Anyways I think its good that you just ignored it. I think the guys from our past realize that the girls that they dated really are awesome and they freak out a little when they realize that their exes are getting married!! Its unfortunate that you had to read all of that, but just ignore it. They will go away eventually.

Post # 15
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Miss Sorbet: I think this is super common. My ex actually threatened to show up at the wedding and stop the ceremony. He didn’t and good thing. My military father would have shot him ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 16
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

@Miss Sorbet: OMFG yes. My most recent ex boarded the crazy train. We’d stayed friends on Facebook because we had had an amicable breakup. When my ex found out my Fiance and I had cats and were living together he tried to tell me to come pick up the cat that we had picked out together- that he asked to keep in the breakup! I had let him keep the cat because I had been unable to find a job and he was stable. I ignored it. Were he serious I would have on on a plane from Vegas to ATL and taken the cat back, but he was just trying to get under my skin.

He deleted his Facebook profile when my Fiance and I announced our engagement, which didn’t really bother me. I took it as my cue to delete him off of all of the rest of my social media and out of my address books.

Now though, he’s taken to texting me at all odd hours of the night saying things like “You didn’t give me a fair shot” (he broke up with me…), threatening to harm himself, and that he’s in Vegas and I should visit his hotel room. Um, no? It’s been three years, I’ve moved on and I’m happy!

Why do weddings bring out the crazy in people?!

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