(Closed) And so…I kinda lost it on FI & the minister. Vent!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

hot damn! i’m sorry that it didn’t go well this time… i guess going with a different minister is out of the question? she seems to just be going through the motions

Post # 4
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kermie: Yikes! This sounds like a nightmare :/  She wasn’t suggesting you postpone until the fall, was she? Sorry your button was hit at a really bad time. * HUGS *

Post # 5
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

((hugs)) for your frustration…

I could definitely see the issue with not know your names by now…. I mean, what if she says the wrong name during the ceremony?! eek

As for the 9+ weeks.. I think that’s awesome.. busy or not. I mean alot of pastors don’t put nearly that amount of time into a couple and walking through prep with them. Really… Pastors & Ministers are busy people… We had to really push to meet with our Pastor weekly to go through our workbook chapter by chapter (8 wks & we finished the wk before the wedding)… and we serve under him in his ministry.

And.. as for the time… well if you can’t take the time to do it now then how are you going to stay with FH then Darling Husband to really make sure you’re staying on the same page a communicating out much BIGGER issues later down the road. Even Darling Husband and I understand that if we have an outburst it’s because we’ve let it stew and have NOT been communicating like we need for whatever the strain of the “season” is.

Sorry about being frustrated.. that’s always a stinky feeling to be in. I think that if you would take some time to reflect & get back to enjoying putting the time into your soon to be marriage then you can begin to see the time that ya’ll meet with her to be much more meaningful and fulfilling… Even if she does get off.. and it is just going over the workbook (of things you “already know’) just remind yourself that just like reading the bible over and over and over.. investing into your marriage and revisting things you will ALWAYS benefit from them and just get more validated in your hearts as a couple of the things that are truly foundational & important, yet so often forgotten.

Hopefull you and your Fiance can find some common ground on the weight of the planning and get back into sync with you minister…. You still have time.. & when you give things to God it never seems to take as long for Him to work things out as we thought it would in the first place. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 7
Member
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

@kermie: I obviously don’t know you or your relationship but I would tend to agree that if you had an outburst about your Fiance not helping and he thinks you don’t communicate there is something that needs to be addressed. Though it does suck that your minster is not helping with anything! We haven’t done our pre-marriage stuff yet but we will be soon, hopefully we can actually learn things through it. 

Post # 9
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@kermie That’s understandable. I’ve met with and even counseled people that just want to keep getting off track. A great thing that I always remind myself is God is so great and is always a 2-fold/more-fold God and that even if your Minister is getting off track, and what you “went there for” isn’t accomplished, there is STILL something that He’s trying to show and teach you and your Fiance and it IS something that you’ll benefit from and will need at some point down the road.

Maybe you and your Fiance might want to try praying together before going in…. Just giving that time to God and asking that your eyes, ears, and hearts be open and receptive to whatever it is He has for you. AND that the entire time would be orderly, just as He is a God of order, and that His spirit would lead the time and that it would not be wasted… that there would be no confusion or idolness… <– think that covers your Minister’s rambling and hopefully get some productivity going for ya’ll. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Try and not get frustrated with hearing the things that you already know… Darling Husband and I did our just b/c it was manditory and our Pastor told us first meeting that “if this was going down tomorrow I’d be confident in you two”… still though… as much as we already knew and were already well practiced in… reaffirming those things is ALWAYS something that we can take heart in and find joy in =)

Goodluck and hope that your time with her gets better… if for no other reason then not wanting that junk toward the person that’s marrying you two and going to be part of that memory the rest of your lives ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 10
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kermie: Oh sweetie, we’ve all have been or will have been there, wedding stress meltdowns are no fun. Glad you worked it out with Fiance. Hang in there, only a few more months to go ๐Ÿ™‚

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