(Closed) And the RSVP drama begins

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Its hard when money is involved so I’d say you have three options:
1.Do everything they ask for and have a wedding thats filled with people you dont know, whilst sacrificing things you wanted to pay for them.
2. See if they’ll pay the extra it’ll cost to have them there, you have a budget, and you’re sticking to it!
3. Downright so no, its your day, not theirs.

The last is tricky because it will cause the drama to get bigger, but I would hate to have people I’ve only met once for 2 hours! (Or not at all!)
Also tricky when it comes to invitees partners, ultimately its your call.

Post # 3
47206 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

NBee:  “Sorry, but we are unable to accomodate any additions to the guestlist. If this means you will be unable to attend, we will miss you at the wedding.”

Do not give any other reasons or make excuses. There will always be those people who are problem solvers:

– no extra chairs? no problem, she will sit on my lap

-venue won’t cater for any more guests? no problem, we will share a meal.

– budget problem? I will pay for the extra guest

Don’t go there.

Post # 4
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Honestly, I would say no to both of these extra guests. Tell your Future Mother-In-Law (or the guests directly) that you’re unable to accommodate any extras and you understand if this means that they will no longer be able to attend. Better yet, your Fiance needs to be the one to tell his mother or the guests this – they’re his family after all. You’ve both already acquiesced to the wishes of Future Mother-In-Law enough, it’s too late for her to make any more demands on the guest list.

Post # 6
6833 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I understand your frustration. It’s like these people have never been to weddings before and don’t get that this all costs a lot of money and takes a lot of planning to pull off smoothly. 

I second PPs advice. Just tell them no. But be prepared for some to still show up with their additional guests anyway. I’ve heard several stories like that on the Bee before.

Post # 8
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tell your Father-In-Law that you appreciate their gift towards the wedding very much but you’ve invited the people already on their list and now now invitations are closed to people you don’t know like plus ones.  

Evetytime it’s brought up just repeat.  It should be you Fiance dealing with his mother not you.

This is only an “RSVP drama” if you turn it into a drama.  Stop complaining about it to people and just be a smiling, serene brick wall. Just have your Fiance say NO.

If anyone should just show up have an usher tell them You’re so sorry but she was not on the invite list and there is no place for her.  

Remember YOU are doing nothing wrong it’s the uninvited guest and the interfering mother in law who ARE.

Post # 9
6833 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

NBee:  Yes it would be! Hopefully that doesn’t happen to you. Some people are just rude and there’s no getting around it. 

The topic ‘And the RSVP drama begins’ is closed to new replies.

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