(Closed) And they broke up before the wedding…

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Invite them individually.  And feel okay about.  The etiquette rule of thumb that I’ve heard (and used) is if they weren’t dating when you got engaged, they don’t get a guest (exception for long engagements, I think).

Maybe just sit them across the room from each other to minimize the tension!

Post # 4
378 posts
Helper bee

We’re inviting people as singles when we know they will know someone else there. And four of my five BMs won’t have a date, so don’t worry about that either. I think it would be MORE awkward to have them come with another person, and that would create drama.

Post # 5
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I second the approach of inviting them individually, no extra guests. You might want to let each know that their ex will be there (so there’s no surprise debacles), but not as their date, as your friend. Surely everyone will behave themselves for a few hours and there will be enough other people they know there that they will be entertained without having to interact with their exes too much.

Post # 6
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

they also probably won’t meet anyone or find someone to invite this late in the game….that being said, you could talk to them and see how they feel?  especially the one in the wedding.  I know how I felt whenever I had to see an ex.

Post # 7
596 posts
Busy bee

invite them individually but be prepared for them to ask you if they can bring a date.  tread carefully with this!  it may be awkward if one of them brings a date but the other does not.  hopefully your friends can be mature about this, but they may be insistent on bringing dates to show off to each other. 

Post # 8
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

If they just broke up, I doubt they will have a serious relationship before your wedding.  And really, you are only obligated to invite your guests with "significant" others – not allow them to bring random dates.  Besides, if there is any bad feeling between any of them, I would think that having them all there with new people has the potential to get ugly faster than having them all there singly.

I would let them know that you have invited their ex, as there may be some drama surrounding that.  However, you’re not obligated to choose sides in your friends’ break-ups.  If they somehow can’t be mature enough to be in the room together for an evening, then that’s their issue – and they can deal with it however they like.  If you consider both parties to be your friends, the right thing to do is to invite them both.

Post # 10
2 posts
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would seat the 2 gals together. That way they could complain about the boys together… Since they are going through this around the same time.


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