(Closed) And we USED to be good friends… So what do I say now? (novel-like length!)

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I think I’d write back and say “thankyou for the congratulations! We are really excited. Hope all is well with the baby, the latest pictures are gorgeous” or something like that. I don’t think you need to be friends but I think a polite, non-committal response is the way to go. Next time you see her it should be more comfortable and she should say hello (she sounds immature and rude btw, I’m not surprised you are happy to not be friends anymore).

Post # 4
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with mountain.bride.

Maybe she is finally growing up. All I can tell you is to take it slow and see what develops. You don’t have to be BFFs, but maybe this is a starting point where you two can maybe rebuild your friendship. It will probably never be like it was, but at least you might feel more comfortable around her when you are out with your friends.

Post # 5
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with the other bees…be facebook friends…but not really anything else. I mean since she’s friends with some of your other friends, still be nice to her but don’t seek her friendship out.  I think it would be better to keep her as a distant friend rather than burn a bridge and making her an enemy for life.

Post # 6
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

I’m on board with the be cordial but not friends plan. Accept her on FB and continue with the pleasantries because it seems like you will see her often but don’t go out of your way for her, don’t feel pressured to include her in things you plan, like your wedding and don’t fall for her BS. She is not a friend if she can’t even recriprocate a hello over something that happened 2 years ago.

Post # 7
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Actually, if it was me, I’d respond with a friendly letter back, but not accept the friend request. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t like people like that being able to see all my updates and such – I feel like they’re just there to snoop. If the conversation continues, and you feel comfortable accepting it then, go ahead, but at least not right away. It sounds to me like she may fishing for an invite to the party when she finally contacts you right around when you’d be sending those out…

Post # 8
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would accept her on facebook, but limit what she can see/do on your profile. I would also respond politely, because if you don’t, you’ll just be sinking to her level [for the past two years]. Treat her like you would a casual acquaintance, be polite, be cordial, say hi, coo at the baby, but don’t spend hours trying to get into her good graces.

If she’s ready to grow up and have a more mature relationship, you’ll still be there, but you don’t have to chase her around, as you’ve realized.

Whatever you do, don’t stoop to her level though! It sounds like you’ve done an amazing job of being the bigger person – don’t let that slip away now!

Post # 9
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with others to accept her friendship on FB and then move on. I am thinking that with your weddingcoming up she probably just wants to be invited so she doesn’t miss out, while all of your mutual friends will be there.

This woman sounds drainging and overly dramatic, not something you truely need in your life. if you decide to become close to her again, I would fully prepare myself for more incidents like you described above. 

Post # 11
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree she sounds like a type of person who is better off as an aqaintence than a “Bestie.” It’s better to just say Thanks we are soo excited & wish her well and hope that things are still goign great with her baby. I’d leave it at that and say hi and maybe have convo if you see her; but I wouldn’t be calling her or inviting her places. Seems like a little distance is better with this girl.

Post # 12
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

All of this over a facebook request?

If you don’t want her to be looking at your pictures, then ignore it. 

Post # 13
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

What? I think you need to re-read the post Mrs.Louboutin

Post # 14
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I can’t believe this woman has kids and acts like she’s in middle school. It seems like she’s a drama queen. I agree with the previous posts. Send her a message on facebook thanking her for the congrats and saying how nice it was to see her daughter etc etc. and leave it at that. If I were you I’d keep my distance and just keep things cordial. There’s no reason to be snarky or unpleasant but there’s no reason to be friends with someone who seems kind of unbalanced and over dramatic. You’re getting married- you don’t need this kind of thing in your life! If your best friend starts giving you a hard time about not wanting to hang out with her, just make it clear that things have changed between you and that while you wish her the best, you’re not interested in more of a relationship anymore. If you’re pleasant and nice, then you don’t give her any reason to complain about you.

Post # 15
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

So I’m sometimes a little quick to think the worse before trusting someone but… I think it’s suspicious that she’s doing this 2 months before your wedding. Will she be fishing for an invite soon? Or try to cause drama when she doesn’t receive one? Either way, I would be polite but distant. Move on with your fabulous life, be pleasant in social settings but avoid intimate conversations or one on one hangouts.

The topic ‘And we USED to be good friends… So what do I say now? (novel-like length!)’ is closed to new replies.

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