(Closed) Andrew (31) and Jane (62)

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever been in a large age-gap relationship (10+ year age difference)?
    Yes : (52 votes)
    26 %
    No : (145 votes)
    74 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    3875 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

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    southerncharm :  My Brother-In-Law and SIL (DH’s brother) is married to a woman ten years older than him. They dated on and off from the time he was seventeen until he was twenty and then got engaged when he was twenty and she was thirty and married the following year. When I first met them, not gonna lie, the age gap was icky. It actually still is a little icky if I think about it, but I suppose to each their own. 

    Post # 47
    Member
    3035 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

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    GonnaBeAFind :  I think there are more exceptions for celebrities in general. However, there still is a very big stigma for older man/younger female relationships just as their is for older female/younger male in general society here.

    All it takes is a quick look at YouTube comment sections for age gap couple related videos. You also see many comments on this site. So, I have to say that the nobody bats an eye at relationships with older males to be inaccurate. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    3611 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think age gaps of that length are a bit much regardless of the sex of the people involved. I’m sure there are a few happy couples out there who have defied the odds, but the idea of someone being old enough to be their spouse’s parent is weird af to me. 10 years or so isn’t a big deal when both of the parties involved are legit grown-ups (a mark which, IMO, you don’t hit until at least your mid-20s) — I’d raise an eyebrow to see an 18-year-old with a 28-year-old, but wouldn’t think anything of a 35-year-old with a 45-year-old.

    Post # 50
    Member
    639 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Darling Husband and I have an 11 year age difference (he’s 33 turning 34, I’m 23) and we’ve been together since I was 18 and he was 28. The age difference isn’t noticeable for us. 

     

    However, 30+ years difference? Kind of weird, no matter who is the older/younger one in the relationship. I feel like if they could be your parent (or grandparent), it’s probably too much of an age difference. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

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    liverightnow :  Yeah, mine didn’t last long either, just a few months.  However, they guy I dated was sort of the opposite, he lived a very “young” lifestyle” and not a lot of responsibility.  I just couldn’t see myself living like that for the rest of my life.  I was 28 when I met my current husband, but by then I had figured out what I wanted.  At 21, I was clueless lol.

    Post # 52
    Member
    4634 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

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    southerncharm :  my parents have an eleven year age gap. It was never and issue for them but now my dad is in his mid seventies and my mum Is in her mid sixties it is has started to show a little. 

    Both if them are in good health but my dad has started to mentally and physically slow down. He has also started doing old man things and it exasperates my mum to no end. She does find it humorous though. She cracked up when my dad came out with his track top tucked into his track pants…..harry high pants style!!!!

    I couldn’t date a guy ten years younger….I have nothing in common with a guy in his early twenties!!! Older guy??… maybe but not more than ten years. 

    I don’t judge…whatever floats your boat…

    Post # 53
    Member
    2013 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    My husband is 9 years older than me, but he acts like a teenager most of the time so the age difference often goes unnoticed lol.

    But 31 years?! My parents aren’t even 31 years older than me. Don’t think I could do it.

    Post # 54
    Member
    899 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Darling Husband and I are 16 years apart. I never thought I’d date someone that much older then me but it was pretty unintentional. Luckily we only look about 8 years apart as he looks younger. I actually found some old picture of him recently at 21 the age I was when we started dating and I said if we had been the same age I’d have ran a mile from him. He didn’t look older then 12! I don’t think you can help who you fall in love with and they look really happy. It sucks being with someone a lot older as there’s a good chance you’ll end up alone earlier. But what can you do about that love is love. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee

    The most I dated was 12 years older and I think that would have been a bit much. Especially considering I was 17 and he was 29. We only dated for a short while (few weeks) and it was without my parent’s knowledge. When they did find out it (very obviously) didn’t go over well and a rapid end was put to it.

    I can’t imagine now (7 years later) dating someone with an age gap almost 3x that. WHile it may work temporariliy, I will be sad for them 10 years from now when things start to rapidly change and she requires a caretaker rather than a partner.

    Post # 56
    Member
    1414 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    southerncharm

    A baby boomer/very late bloomer bee’s perspective here:

    I dated 10 years older and ten years younger. To me as a grownup, that’s the same age range. It should be like that with Jane and Andrew too IF they don’t look at each other and see their mom or their son. People have to be attracted to people in a healthy enjoyable way — dating someone who looks and behaves like dad or mom just ain’t it !

    The couple has to really love each genuinely or else their relationship will fail the test if Jane decides she’s tired of motherhood and doesn’t want to adopt and Andrew  then missed getting to be a dad which could be a shame.  That’s right Jane needs to love him so much that she will be a mom again via adoption and Andrew has to be willing to do all he can being financial partners with Jane to help pay for adoption. Or they could foster parent! 

    Reasons not to judge Jane and Andrew are In My Humble Opinion: how we think they look, that Jane could die first  or get sick, or that you don’t think a woman at 62 is an equally desirable catch as a partner. Feminism isn’t nearly so strong as we may think it is in the US 🙁

    Looking at their photo and reading another article about Jane and Andrew, I cannot imagine Jane with someone closer to her age. If she wants to do historical cosplay, younger is probably the way to go. She would be a train wreck if paired with your typical 60 something dude!

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 57
    Member
    3089 posts
    Sugar bee

    I hesitate to date guys beyond 3 years younger than me.When 33 and 34 year olds hit on me (and this happens often), I think the ish will hit the fan sooner ot later. I give more leeway to a man older (if I still find him attractive). I am 38.

    Post # 58
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee

    We’ve got a 16 year age difference between us, and we don’t even notice it.  Our personalities mesh, and we’ve got similar goals and life plans. Prior to dating each other, we had also both dated other people with a 15/16 year age gap.  It’s all about the person and the relationship, not the age number.

    Post # 59
    Member
    340 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2022 - City, State

    I’m 11 years younger than my fiancé, but at our ages I don’t think it matters as much ( 64 and 53). I once dated a guy who was 30 years older (and I was only a tonnages at the time), but I was more mature and ran his life lol

    Post # 60
    Member
    3902 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

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    southerncharm :  15 years age gap is where I would draw the line. Im from spring 85 I dated a guy from fall 73 for a few months but that was the largest age gap I ever had with anyone. My parents had me young (19 and 20) so I can’t bare the though of dating a guy that much or more older than me. As for the other way around… not gonna happed I have NEVER been atracted to a man younger than myself. 

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