(Closed) Angry at bridesmaids, need help!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Nixxy180:  How would telling them how you feel now help? It probably would have been better if you had not just gone along with it and told them upfront that it wasn’t cool. Now it’s just complaining about something that’s over with already. I’d just tuck this tidbit into your head and use your knowledge for good if you ever have to plan a bachelorette party yourself.

Post # 4
1274 posts
Bumble bee

Unfortunately – since it’s over and done with, not much can be done now. It really sucks that you didn’t get the night that you expected.

Maybe if you had pushed the idea a little harder that you personally didn’t want to attend a strip club…then again, you mentioned your Maid/Matron of Honor is a bit of a wildcard, so she might’ve dragged you there either way. There are a bajillion other places to go in Vegas, seems like you are the kind of girl who wants to drink and dance and that would’ve made your night better. 

When was this? Has anyone tried to contact you since then? Did you all fly back together? 

Post # 6
3763 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m so sorry! I think it’s horrible that your Maid/Matron of Honor planned something that she knew you didn’t really want, and even worse that everyone stayed after you left 🙁 I think you have every right to be upset and hurt. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do now, and it’s not a situation you are likely to run into again. I would try my best to put it behind me and not let it sour the wedding day. Hugs!

Post # 7
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m sorry but I think you overreacted and should apologize to everyone.  

ETA:  Everyone was there for YOU and you ran out on them.  That’s pretty crappy.  Your bridal party can’t read your mind, so you can’t expect them to understand exactly what you “hoped” they would do.  You told them a strip club was okay, and then threw a tantrum and left.  I think you owe your mom the biggest apology… she travels all the way to Vegas for your party and then you acted really immaturely. 

Post # 8
2213 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Nixxy180:  Sorry you had a crappy bachelorette party.  🙁  It doesn’t help now, but you should’ve stuck with your magic show and drinkin’ guns. 

You gave your Maid/Matron of Honor permission to take you to a strip club.  Should she have, when you said you weren’t really interested and it wasn’t your scene?  No.  But you said it was OK, and she took that as an all clear.

I don’t know that making this an issue with your Maid/Matron of Honor or Bridal Party will really help anything.  Could you vent to your mom about it?

Post # 9
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Nixxy180:  I’m very surprised you chose Vegas of all places for your bachelorette party considering how conservative you are, lol. I’ve been to Vegas. It is not for the faint of heart. I have learned through wedding planning that not a single person can read my mind. I have grown some pretty thick skin by saying no and putting my foot down to things I do not want. There’s nothing you can do about it now but you can learn from it.

Maybe a little “redo” night would be possible… Rent a cabin somewhere and watch chick flicks and eat junk food, go out to a fancy restaurant with all your bridesmaids, go get manis and pedis.. Something that would be more to your liking. Of course you can’t expect them to pay for that but it’d be something fun to do before your wedding.

For my bachelorette party, my girls took me all over the place. Some things I loved, other things weren’t really me. We went to a fancy restaurant, went to a dueling piano bar where I was dragged up on stage after drinking a bucket – yes, BUCKET – of sangria through penis straws, went to a nice dessert/hookah bar, then went back to the hotel to play bachelorette games while balloon penises were all over the room. Embarrassing? Yes. Me? No. But I appreciated every second of it. 

Post # 10
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@DomesticDiva:  +1!

Also, you saying you’re surprised that the strip club was full nude makes me giggle.  Put it behind you and move on to the good part – YOUR WEDDING!

Post # 11
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Nixxy180:  I do want to say sorry because I got embarrassed reading that (especially the pineapple thing), and it did sound like an awful time.

That being said, you TOLD your Maid/Matron of Honor you were ok with a strip club. Why did you lie? Why didn’t you tell her, “I don’t want to go to a strip club. I would love to have a party bus and go bar hopping on the strip.” You only told her you didn’t want to be pulled up on stage.

You say it was a surprise bachelorette party and you knew 15-20 minutes before it happened, but in your OP you say your Maid/Matron of Honor ASKED you what you wanted to do. And you also knew she was the kind of person that wanted a strip club all along.

I ultimately think you set yourself up for this one. It sucks, but saying something now won’t fix anything and may create bad enough blood where you lose a friend or friends in the process.

Post # 12
4371 posts
Honey bee

You said Ok to a strip club, but did you ever tell your Bridesmaid or Best Man you didn’t want a full nudity strip club? And you didn’t get pulled on stage, so it sounds like all your requirements were met. Maybe you should have communicated a little better to your bridesmaids, but there isn’t really a point to bring it up now. Like you said, they flew out all the way to Vegas for you, and followed the requirements you set forth.

Post # 13
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m not sure the purpose of going to Vegas for your Bachelorette but Vegas + Bachelorette = crazy.  I think you probably should have laid down some ground rules beforehand as Thunder from down under is NOT a strip club.  You probably should have mentioned all this before even planning to go to Vegas.  It’s all water under the bridge now though – go have fun with your fiance and have dinner or go to a Cirque show.  I’d just tell your BM’s that you’re sorry you walked out but it wasn’t what you signed up for and didn’t feel comfortable at all.  Let them know what YOU want to do for the rest of the trip (assuming you still have time left there) and that you’d appreciate it if they’d be there to support you from here on out.

Post # 14
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I think you owe them an apology. You could have waited outside for them, and all left from the show together. I would especially say you are sorry to your mom. SHe probably wanted to be there even less than you and you told her to leave you alone…

Post # 15
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@ieatunicorns:  +1 Mom was probably trying to make the best of things.

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