(Closed) Angry at bridesmaids, need help!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have literally never laughed so hard as I did reading that you had to watch a man have sex with a pineapple!

Sorry your bachelorette party sucked!

Post # 18
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@BrandNewBride:  Did you also wonder if the skin was still on the pineapple?  I sure did.  Seems like it could be painful to leave it on, but on the other hand, it would be too difficult to grip just the flesh of the pineapple alone.  😛

Post # 19
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

I’d watch a dozen men f*ck a dozen pineapples before getting in a cab with strange men in a bad neighborhood in Vegas (after having a few drinks).  Your Maid/Matron of Honor may have had bad judgement in selecting the venue, but it pales compared to your bad judgement.  You are VERY lucky the worst thing that happened to you that night was that you didn’t enjoy the show.  Be grateful and try to make better decisions yourself before being too hard on your friends.

Post # 20
Member
5708 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@BrandNewBride:  It was such a vivid visual, I actually kind of want my DH to try it. Am I sick? Lol. I just want to see what this would look like!!

 

Post # 21
Member
5879 posts
Bee Keeper

@DomesticDiva:  ROTFLMAO! You are killing me.

Ummm the most upsetting thing in the post you taking cab with random dudes..Glad it worked out though.

Sucks but you okayed the strip club. In the future stick with your guns. 

Post # 22
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee

What woman gets excited from watching a man screw a pineapple anyway? Sounds like some kind of fruit fetish show to me.

Post # 23
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Nixxy180:  eh…is what it is! I mean…the bachelorette party isn’t the MOST important part. Yea they should have respected your wishes but no need to hold a grudge. Just giggle about the nake men and their penis. Honestly, I can’t STAND male strippers (unless they are Magic Mike and that’s a fictional character haha!). So I get your frustration…..but they were probly trying to get you to have fun. Laugh….move on.

Post # 24
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

“I told my Maid/Matron of Honor that I wanted to go see a magic show and do some drinking for my  bachelorette party but if she wanted to, we could go to a strip club,”‘

 

 

 

“What I was really hoping for was a limo or party bus to drive us around the  strip so we could drink and bar hop in style.”

 

In the first sentence, you told your Maid/Matron of Honor that you could go to a strip club “if she wanted to”.  You gave her pemission d to go to a strip club! You wrote that you didn’t want to be dragged on stage and your wedding party obliged that one wish.  If you didn’t want full nudity at a strip club, you should’ve said so! If you didn’t want strip clubs, you never should’ve told her it was ok if she wanted to go.

 

 

 

In the second sentence, you sound like you expected your Maid/Matron of Honor to be a mind reader.  You didn’t tell your MOH or BMs a single thing that you “really wanted”.  Sorry but that’s what happens when you aren’t honest about your bachelorette wishes.

 

And, since you found out 15 to 20 mins. before going to the strip club that it was total nude, you should’ve put your foot down and said it was not what you wanted.

 

 

 

You had the voice to use and chose not to use it.  Do NOT blame anyone other than yourself!

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 25
Member
8700 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@DomesticDiva:  I assume the bottom was cut off, but the sides still had the skin? Maybe

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@megz06:  ‘s husband will figure it out for us! (I’d get jealous of the pineapple of my DH did that. Not going to lie!)

 

Post # 27
Member
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I mostly find it odd that your Maid/Matron of Honor would plan a party like this for you.  Considering you said you’d prefer a magic show and your mom was coming, I assume you’re not a very wild party type usually.  I wouldn’t plan a party like that for a friend unless I thought it fit your personality.

Like other bees have said, you could have voiced your opinion better.  But I do think your BMs (at least the ones that made the plans) are in the wrong as well for picking a party that didn’t fit your tastes.  Sure you didn’t flat out tell them what you wanted, but I’m assuming these girls have met you before.

Post # 28
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

@Nixxy180:  I’m so sorry for all these. I think neither (you and MOH) of you did terribly wrong on this. It could have been better if you were more assertive. I think the main problem was that you and your Maid/Matron of Honor are too different. I’d imagin you even imagined about full nudity when you told your Maid/Matron of Honor that if she wants, a strip club is okay. But in her mind, it might be a strip club = full nudity club. (I haven’t been any strip club so I don’t know what’s norm at all). And they probably can’t even guess how terrible you feel and are feeling bad about how it turned out. I think they wanted to be nice to you and you wanted to be nice to them, but it just didn’t work.

I’d suggest to talk to them. Tell them you wanted to enjoy but it was really too far from your taste. If I were you, I’d tell I appreciate their effort and say sorry that I couldn’t enjoy. And discuss about how to be clear and assertive in the future. Because, if they knew how horrible you were feeling, I think they would have stopped all. And if you knew what’s going to happen, you would have told them you won’t enjoy that.

As a person who also would have vomitted if I had to see something like that, I can feel your pain. But I don’t think its their fault. You still are very lucky that you have such friends who would fly to vegas to celebrate you – just they have so different taste from you. So be glad about you have such friends who love you so much despite all differences, and build a better communication channel.

Post # 29
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@BrandNewBride:  

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@DomesticDiva:  

I keep coming back to this thread just to read y’all’s conversation about the pineapple! It’s killing me! Not I want to see how it happened! Might be stopping by the farmer’s market on the way home… Lol!

Post # 30
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honestly? If it was something that was NOT full nudity, then yes – you might be over reacting a bit.

HOWEVER. Taking someone to something that is full nudity without informing them about it, is NEVER okay. Let alone someone who is in a relationship. Im my books, willingly going to see a full nudity strip show is akin to sitting down and watching porn… and non-full nudity is not far off, and in our relationship – porn is NOT okay.

If I had been you in that situation, I would have ground everything to a halt at discovering the “full nudity” part, and sat everyone down and told them that I was NOT okay with it.

So you do need to take some responsibilty for not standing your ground and just saying NO. Your own morals and the safety of your relationship (marriage) should ALWAYS come before trying to please friends.

If at any point you made it clear that you were not okay with strip clubs, and they still went ahead with it.. then you can be mad. I dont know the full story, but if you never actually flat out said that you were not okay with strip clubs/full nudity… well then they could not be expected to know. They also might have been caught up in the excitement of planning a vegas batchlorette and gone a little overboard…

Post # 31
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@dreamer1288:  Teehee!

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@EmeraldTiger:  Maybe it’s just me, but when I hear “strip club” I think naked people.  I automatically assume it’s all gonna be hangin’ out.

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