Post # 1
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
I am not even sure where to post this, so I am just going to post it in the general Bee Hive. I am extraordinarily irritated with my Fiance right now, and I need you bees to tell me if I am justified and to talk some sense into me.
So, we had plans to watch the SEC Championship game together today. (We are in an LDR, so “together” means watching it on our separate TVs but on the phone/web cam and chatting about it while we watch). Anyway, this morning he suggested we watch it and I could have sworn he said is came on at 5:30 p.m. EST. I go to one of the two universities competing today, so this is a BIG game. Around 4 p.m., I decided to take a quick nap so I’d be refreshed for the game. I set my alarm to wake up at 5:15 p.m., make a snack and call Fiance so we could watch it together. Well, when I do get up, it turns out the game is at halftime! I had the time all wrong. The only reason I even found out it was on was because of FI’s Facebook status about some of the plays in the game. I called him and was pretty irritated he had not called or texted and told me the game started earlier and was I not going to watch it with him?
Should I have checked the time online or confirmed it? Yes, probably. It WAS my mistake. But I missed half of the game and Fiance could have easily prevented that with a simple call or text. Football is not usually a huge priority for me, but I enjoy watching the big games like this and was looking forward to spending some time with him today, so I thought it was pretty rude that he did not text or call to remind me. He just watched the whole first half by himself and did not say a single word via text about it!
Post # 3
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
Could he maybe have been confused by a time zone difference? You never know.
Or maybe he forgot that he told you the wrong time and just assumed that you were already watching it.
P.S. What school do you go to? 😛 I go to UF (go Gators!) so I’m not sure who I want to win, haha.
Post # 4
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
@rachelmichelle: Bama. Roll Tide Roll :]
Well I texted him and told him I was going to take a nap at the EXACT time the game was coming on, so I feel like that should have prompted some sort of response. I don’t really know why I am sooo pissed off about this, but I am. It just seems really selfish and inconsiderate on his part. (I know I made the mistake of not checking the time, but still…) And he and I are in the same time zone, so he was not confused by a time difference. If it had been the other way around, I for sure would have called him and said , “Babe, are you not watching the game? You know it comes on in like 5 minutes right…?”
Post # 5
Member
909 posts
Busy bee
Maybe he thought you became busy with something else. I wouldn’t make a huge deal about this. But then again I’m not long distance. Sorry your afternoon didnt turn out like you expected.
Post # 6
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug: I dunno, that does kinda suck. :/
Have you asked him yet why he didn’t let you know the game was starting earlier? (Nicely, of course. You don’t wanna start a fight!)
Post # 7
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
Is he a huge football fanatic? My fiance is, and I can almost guarantee he’d forget to call or text me if a big game that he was really invested in was on.
I honestly don’t think you should be upset. I can definitely understand your disappointment, but I’d try to cut him some slack … It just sounds like a case of miscommunication, which is frustrating, but not a big deal. It happens to all of us!
Post # 8
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
“important” things like this, I do not leave in the responsibility of other’s. I would have double and triple checked the times and I would have made myself responsible for when to click on the TV. I understand being in an LDR and doing things “together”. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I understand how painful it is to miss out on those opportunities, but I wouldn’t blame him. Sure, he could have called you easily, but just as easily you could have validated the times for yourself.
Post # 9
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug: Oh, I just saw your response to an earlier comment. Hmmm … It is a little odd that he didn’t say anything when you sent him a text, but he may have just made an assumption that you weren’t feeling well (or were just extremely tired) and didn’t want you to feel obligated to watch the game with him.
Post # 10
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
It sounds like he thought your plans were changed since you text him right when the game started. It seems like a simple miscommunication to me. I can understand your frustration, but I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault.
Post # 11
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
You are all right. I should have for sure verified the time and it is just a miscommunication. I dont think I would be as angry if he did not do stuff like this all the time. He typically just focuses on himself and sometimes ignores things that are important to me, and I think that is why it is getting to me so badly this time.
Example? I got a huge, amazing job opportunity after college and was accepted to the position after a rigorous interview process! It was a major deal to me, and yet he did not take me out to dinner to celebrate, send me flowers or really anything to acknowlege it, knowing that kind of thing is important to me. I specifically mentioned it to him and asked him if he would mind taking me to dinner to celebrate and he said yes, but then never makes it happen. It’s like all on me to plan everything and he takes such a passive approach so when things dont work out it is my fault. In this case, it was my case for “scheduling too much” over Thanksgiving Week so he did not have “time” to take me to dinner. I know not everyone celebrates things like that in this way, but my family always has, and just little acknowledgements that he realizes what is important to me would go a long way…
Post # 12
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
* ^ Forgot to add that in my opinion, someone really wants to do something with or for someone else, they make it happen. I know I do and I just wish he would too. Just sometimes :/ Sorry for the venting on here.
Post # 13
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
A little off-topic, but ROLL TIDE! lol 
Post # 14
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
@lashphi: Roll Tide Roll!
Post # 15
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug: I wouldn’t say you’re being irrational at all. I think you need to talk to him about his general behavior when it comes to these sorts of things (like the example your give in your later post). I’d wait until you’re in a calmer mood, though.
Post # 16
Member
46332 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@Hope_To_Be_MrsLovebug: I acknowledge that you are hurt and upset, but you texted him that you were going to take a nap. Maybe he thought you were tired and were going to take a nap. He was considerate by not calling back and waking you from your nap.
He can’t read you mind and know that you would not have been going down for a nap if you knew the correct time the game started. Sorry, but this one is on you.
As far as him not making plans to celebrate the way you would like, get used to it. He is the way he is and he won’t change. If you want to have a celebratory dinner in the future, you will likely be the one making the reservations.
Read the Five Love Languages if you haven’t already.